my husband and i have been married for almost 3 years now, and every now and then, i have to mention the fact that he is ignoring me!!!doesn't give me a hug or kiss, unless i go to him first for days at a time, but when i say something about it, he sais "i haven't" like he doesn't know!!! and for a few days after we talk, he pays attention to me, but then after that he ignores me again!!!! i hate to have to keep reminding him, that i am still here!!!i had a bad childhood and a hug a kiss means alot to me!!!! he hasn't spent any money on me in 5 months but yet he gives my daughter money all the time!!! when i said something to him about it, all he can say is well you don't want your daughter to have the kind of life you had do you?? well of course not but what does that have anything to do with him spending 10 to 20 dollars on me?? he doesn't say i love you, he likes to show me, but here lately he has not showed me!! when is it time to say enough is enough?? i could go on !!
2007-10-28 15:44:01 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let me adjust my seat and get the really picture here. Your husband seems to be stressed or perhaps hurt behind your action and he is trying to keep himself a distance. Am not blaming you for it because you may not realize it that that's the main problem in your relationship. Stop complaining. keep up with good altitude and always love yourself. Give your man his space and discover his interest and make him comfortable around you, physically and emotionally. e.g if he loves basketball allot, ask him some question about it. hey what happen to Michael Jordan? I had he was elected senator in washing ton DC? Yet you know Michael Jordan only a Bobcat Co owner. This is to catch his attention and communicate with you. The main purpose for these is to have a better understandable communication with your husband and once he realize you are not complaining, no altitudes, he will figure out a way back to your heart and give you what you want.
2007-10-28 16:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Big question... Do you want to have a happy marriage with this man?
If the answer is yes, you have some work to do on yourself.
It sounds like this is his nature and most likely will not change. If you keep dwelling on the negative and trying to make him change, you will never find what you are looking for.
Work on changing yourself. Why do you need him to spend money on you to feel loved? If I punch you in the face and then give you a thousand dollars, will you think I love you? Sounds crazy doesn't it?
I have found that if I concentrate on the things I love about my wife, the list just keeps getting longer and longer.
Sure there are some things she does that could drive me crazy if I let them. I know I have those kinds of things about me too.
Is it really all that bad that you have to hug him first? Does that mean he loves you less?
From the little you have written, I would say he shows you how much he loves you everyday by being a faithful husband and good father. By him saying he does not want your daughter to have the same tough time you did make me believe he loves you very much and hates that things hurt in your past. He is concentrating on making sure that does not happen to the other woman he loves just as much. Your daughter.
2007-10-29 00:16:02 · answer #2 · answered by Hubby . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think alot of men are slightly guilty of this, men do not think like women, they do not crave or need cuddles and hugs like women do. I would not keep reminding him to hug and kiss you, I would just go give him a hug and kiss, at least you know then you will get regular hugs if you take the initiative.
You keep telling him you love him and if you dont hear it from him after a certain amount of time then gently remind him how nice it feels to hear it once in a while.
Your husband obviously isn't tight with his money because he spends money on your daughter, personally I would be happy enough with that and if there was something i wanted or needed then i would tell him you need it.
If this does not 'do it' for you then you need to have a long serious chat over a nice meal or glass of wine....just so you are both relaxed
2007-10-28 22:54:36 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Honesty ♥.•´ `*.¸ ♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh come on! You are acting like a child who is,nt getting her way! He,s a man, this is what they do, so what if he doesnt show attention all the time. Be happy with the guy you have, and stop whinning about what he isnt! And you know what? I had a bad childhood to, and its ok if my husband isnt paying attention to me 24-7, he is who he is, and I know that he loves me, I dont need hugs and flowers, I just need to know that at the end of they day my husband will be the 1st face I see in the morning and the last face I see before I go to sleep. He is their for you, so be happy and thankful!
2007-10-28 23:30:10 · answer #4 · answered by penelope 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think he has taken you for granted...
should try & talk to him often about this... dont nag but just short & may be sarcastic at times...
you also try & get things to keep yourslef busy so that you dont have much time to think about this... seeing that you are not after him for things he will wornder wats going on & gert curious & come to you!
its simple law of demand & supply... when the supply is more the demand is less & vice versa... you have too much time for him so he knows that you will be there no matter what...
try to get your free ... may be go for a camp or take short trips... take some course to keep you busy... nothing wrong to try!
2007-10-28 23:08:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get into some counseling with him. It sounds like he is just taking you for granted and that will only lead to divorce eventually, or a lot of years of frustration and unhappiness.
2007-10-28 23:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really think he loves you, but he is so comfortable with you he takes you for granted. Some men just don't get it...
The exact words escape me, but keep nudging him and let him know you need more attention than you are getting.
2007-10-28 22:59:29 · answer #7 · answered by Tabonie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage counseling together will help this. Don't throw your marriage away because of a little bump. And I know it feels like a huge bump....
Do everything you can to save your marriage.
2007-10-28 22:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by Richard F 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋