I'm a daughter hiding my depression
I'm a sister making a good impression
I'm the person sitting next to you
I'm asking you to care.
I'm asking for a friend, hoping you'll be there
2007-10-28 14:54:59 · 6 answers · asked by *Forget me not* 5 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
i'm hoping to add more onto it, but i'm stuck at the moment
2007-10-28 14:55:32 · update #1
it was just a quick little thought that went through my mind, then I realized that some of the words rymed. It is by no means professional peotry.
2007-10-28 15:07:04 · update #2
I think you have a lot of pure, natural talent and that's a good thing. Many poets don't.
What I would suggest is that you study the principles of meter. And when you ask for feedback always use your best grammar. What you don't want to do is have someone pre-judge your creative efforts based on 'yal.'
Anyway, you have a natural flair. And I could see this as song lyrics just as well. I wish I had your natural talents at your age.
2007-10-28 15:14:25 · answer #1 · answered by Doc Watson 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's good. I don't know if poems can usually have I'm at the beginning all the time.
I like your poem.
2007-10-28 22:02:37 · answer #2 · answered by anymike_00 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like it
2007-10-29 05:07:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i like it u go girl. u can blow. keep goin i know wateva u come up wit will b good =D
2007-10-29 19:20:12 · answer #4 · answered by ¸¸.•*´`*♥ZHANEL♥*´`*•.¸¸ 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it sounds really good! especially for just having it pop into your head. = ]
2007-10-28 22:32:19 · answer #5 · answered by Tess 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
dats not good......its fabolous...i love it..definetly make more!!!!
2007-10-29 15:58:44 · answer #6 · answered by rican_mami362 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋