How did it turn out? Did they ignore their feelings for the other person, have an affair (and if so did the spouse find out?), get divorced and then become involved with the other person, or did the married person leave their spouse to be with the other person? If the married person left their spouse to be with the new person, is the couple now happy together?
I ask for other experiences because I fell in love with a man who is married but separated. He said he loves me too and wants to be with me but they still haven't filed for divorce (we've been seeing each other for 8 months). I began to realize that it's a lot more complicated than I originally thought... not happily ever after.. and I was wondering if similar stories have turned out happy or horribly? Thanks!
2007-10-28 14:25:05 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Add'l details based on Kanoa's answer-- They are separated pending divorce, they mutually want divorce, they have no children. Thanks.
2007-10-28 14:34:58 · update #1
Add'l details based on Ang's answer... they are separated living apart. They do not live together. She knows they are separated and getting divorced. Thanks.
2007-10-28 14:42:24 · update #2
Here is my story my husband decided to move out and get his own apartment all because he said he did not want our marriage to get any worse then it was. You know the funny part was i did not see it like he did we got along, the sex was good but he was becoming more distant toward me. There wasn't a thing i could do but let him leave i told him i didn't want anyone who did not want me so he left. In the mean time we still went to all the family reunions and vacations and spent holidays together. We still were having sex every weekend sometimes he would spend the night. During the week when he would come by for dinner we had sex. He said he moved out so we could work on our marriage and that is what we did,so i thought. After 2 1/2 years he moved back home with me and our son who was 15 at the time. Two days after moving back home i was putting away his clothes and there it was a greeting card from a co-worker he had been seeing when he moved out on me. He had been seeing her for a grand total of almost 3 years without me knowing about it.
You have no idea what he is telling his wife I'm sure like my husband he is telling her that they are getting back together and the odds are they will. When he has had enough of you he will go back to where he feels safe mark my word. Stop seeing this man, after all he is still a married man so that make you the other woman,how does that sound to you,it isn't pretty is it. You might think he loves you but you can bet that he is telling his wife the same thing only with her there are the memories and she has his heart. I know you don't think he is using you but he is and he is good at it, men are good at deceiving women are they not. Find your proud and move on before he does that way you will feel a little better about yourself.
2007-10-28 15:00:53 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course. I feel it is possible to FEEL like you are in love or lust with another person other than your spouse. But it is not true love, as that takes time to grow. Usually the fantasy is always better than reality. The grass is always greener on the other side, they say. If you think it is real, you have to question how you let it get to that point in the first place. You should not have let this happen. This carefree attitude seen here on Yahoo Answers sadly reflects the sad state the world is in, and why the divorce rate is so high. Put all of that love back into your HUSBAND or WIFE. P.S. I posted my answer before reading the others. Sorry if it's repeating what is already said, but that just proves that what I say is true!
2016-05-25 23:15:36 · answer #2 · answered by felipa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance and I met when he was married. Technically, he still is married, though they have been living seperately now for 7 years. She committed adultery (common knowledge) before he and I met, and while we had a break up for a few years (after the seperation- due to distance) we are together now, and are in the process of filing the divorce papers (she is involved in this also).
I don't suggest the fish or cut bait ultimatum, however ask specific, direct questions about their impending divorce if you have any, and don't accept 'political' answers. If all you get is run around answers that don't satisfy you, after openly telling him your concerns, seriously reconsider this situation. Don't second guess your gut instinct.
2007-10-28 14:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by In Hiding 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thinking hang on. Ok first of all putting a question like this on here will make everyone call you a flusy because most everyone here thinks they are saints when it comes to cheating. But my story is a man that I have known all my life came back into my life several months ago. This is a relationship that has been building a long time. Several years ago when I was married and he was married we had an affair and I broke it off cause I had feelings for him. Well several months ago he just shows up at my house. I had been avoiding him for over a year. I am seperated from my husband and have been for nearly 2 years but he is still with his wife and we began to talk and text. One thing leads to another and we are again having an affair. Only this time he is talking about having problems with his wife and wanting to leave her and I express my feelings that if he wants to leave her that is fine but I didn't want to be a part of it. We could be just a fling but that was all we could be. We continued to see one another and now I am in love with him and we are bound and determined to be together. He has not left his wife as of yet and he will do it on his own time if he does leave her. If he doesnt then that is fine. He is not leaving her for me. He is leaving her because he is unhappy in his marriage and things cannot be fixed. I was a friend before I was a lover and I will continue to be a friend to him till this is done. We just have special benefits. He does love me and I do love him. We can't help who we fall in love with. Id be lying if I said that I didnt have concerns cause i"m not the type of girl who will take later on him saying you know " I left my wife for you" So, if he leaves his wife he leaves her cause he wants to not cause I'm pushing him. Yes we planning on being together because we make each other happy and the only reason why I am commiting to a relationship with him is because I have known him my intire life. I trusted him even before all this happened.
If your man leaves his wife to be with you i can see it causing problems down the road. Like him saying I left my wife to be with you or things like that and in the back of your mind you may think well he cheated on his wife with me whats stopping him from doing it again. Anyway good luck to you whatever you decide
2007-10-28 14:41:59 · answer #4 · answered by rene1695 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This actually makes me sick....does his wife know they are divorcing????????? Hello if he lies to her about you then he is lying to you!!!!! I bet she doesn't even know she is getting a divorce. He probably is still sleeping with her and telling her he loves her...even if he is separated.....if that means separated living apart not him saying I am emotionally separated or not the we are just living together for the children or until we are both financially stable give me a break!
Update based on your post yeah let me tell you my husband and I were "Seperated" I even did a seperation agreement....guess where he is right now sitting in front of me playing with our 4 yr old and we ripped up the agreement and are working on our marriage...think about what you are doing!!! Until a divorce is signed and done it ain't over!
Yeah I had moved out also and knew we were getting a divorce!
2007-10-28 14:41:00 · answer #5 · answered by Blondie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not going to rant and tell you what your doing wrong because that seems to happen a little on here . we are not chidren who need scorned or smacked on the hands BBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTTT i will tell you now that me and my ex-husband still see each other and ONLY each other and if another woman (even with us being divorced) was seeing him I wouldnt be so nice about it . when i see questions like this i always try to see both sides of the coin and would tell you to put yourself in his position and hers . he could be telling you these things and you will only know it is fact IF you talk to her (wouldnt advise this lol) . protect yourself and be aware that people separate and get back together all the time and YOU will be the one who is hurt . Good luck to you .
2007-10-28 14:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce does not just happen overnight. There is a process. So it will be more complicated then you might have imagined. You'll need to be patient and sit down and think about just how much you care about this man. There will be some ups and downs but if you love him you'll be fine
2007-10-28 14:55:24 · answer #7 · answered by Sheba 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to tell you this, but married men hardly ever leave their wives.
Often people say that getting involved is a mistake, but I think that sometimes the initial marriage can be a mistake as well. But one that is less frown upon by society.
Even if he does leave, be prepared to live a life carrying his baggage with him.
2007-10-29 08:37:49 · answer #8 · answered by cherie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to move on with your life and forget this man. You need to be involved with someone that doesn't have baggage. He is using you for what he can get out of you, especially since he hasn't filed for divorce.
2007-10-28 14:35:36 · answer #9 · answered by janetrmi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i fell in love with someone when i was married. i did try to forget him i just couldn't I'm talking a year not a few weeks either. i finely told my husband and left him for this man who is now my boyfriend of 5 years, and i am happy with my decision though it was not an easy one and may not work for everyone , good luck to you
2007-10-28 14:57:32 · answer #10 · answered by just me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋