before me and my wife got married she had a bachlorret party, i didn't have a party because she asked me not to have one cause she was cheated in the past (i understood and didn't its no big deal at all) but right after the honey moon i find out she was pregnant, two days later a friend steps foward and tells me that it might not be my baby, i dont believe her but then the rest of the friends fess up. they said she had sex (multiple times) sex with the male stripper she also knew before hand she was pregnant and she drank. well now im worried i confronted my wife about this she said i cannot leave her that wouldnt be ethical and that she loves me and she is sorry, i dont know and i pray that the baby wont have any defects, the child isn't mine either, she said if i get a divorce court will make me pay half and it will be a big mes. what am i to do? im so lost. i do love my wife, but should i trust her? should i take care of the child still. should i divorce?
2007-10-28 12:56:46 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You got to do what is best for you. She destroyed your trust. You will never be able to trust her. The baby isn't yours then she needs to find the father and get money from him...Not you! No you wont have to pay half. She cheated and got pregnant not you....run fast
2007-10-28 13:04:39 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
First the courts will not make you pay for the support of her child. You challenge the paternity and they will do DNA testing to see if you are the father. When it shows you are not the father you can have your divorce and walk away not even having to pay alimony. The DNA testing does not hurt, it is only a long Q-Tip they swab inside your mouth with.
As for the wife you love, if she starts your relationship with lies then why would you think that she would stop lying anytime soon. This woman has lied to you and tried to trick you into raising someone elses child. From what you said you heard about her, she may not even know who the father is.
Get out now because she is not going to change.
Good Luck
2007-10-28 13:13:04 · answer #2 · answered by mn lady 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let's look at what's happened here. This woman asked you not to have a bachelor party out of fear that you would cheat on her because she was cheated on in the past. You agreed, but she apparently went ahead and cheated on you at her bachelorette party (which I guess she felt entitled to have, even though you couldn't have a bachelor party) and got herself pregnant. Then she has the nerve to say that it would be unethical of you to leave her. She says she's sorry, but only after you confront her with information that you got from her friends.
This woman cheated on you before you even got married. She holds you to one standard while she goes off and does whatever she pleases. She lied to you. She is trying to control you. I doubt she really feels that she has done anything wrong, which means that her behavior is unlikely to change. Do you really want to stay with someone who treats you this way for the rest of your life? Get out while you can. If you can show in court how completely dishonest and unfaithful she's been, which may be easier if the child she's carrying isn't yours, you may be able to get away without too much financial damage.
Good luck. You'll need it.
2007-10-28 13:18:53 · answer #3 · answered by Demon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can decide whether to stay or go, but first you can have a paternl test to see if the baby is yours once the baby is born and then go from there. Much of what shes saying is nothing but shows that shes scared to raise the baby by herself. The rest of what you question is basically totally up to you if the baby isnt yours. If you do decide t stay be forwarned that you will have to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life and sooner or later the baby will be older and may question your motives for being dad if he/she senses something wrong and this will always be a sore spot between you two. Good luck
2007-10-28 13:12:03 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can take a DNA test to see if the baby is yours. If not yours your a free man. I would not trust her, how can you? have all her friends write a letter stating that she cheated on you and was drinking. If the baby is born with birth defects it is not your fault, it might not be even yours but at least you have a heart and care. You can do better. I'm sorry this happened.
2007-10-28 13:05:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Good grief she has some nerve telling you about ethics... are you kidding me,,, if this is all true and you know it for a fact I guess the only thing I have to say is you need to look deep down and see what you want.... if the baby is not yours then you and only you can determine whether you are willing to accept that.... but let me just say that you need to be sure... because if you decide you are going to stand by her then you have to make sure you hold no resentments ... if you cant live with those realities then you need to leave and move on not just for you but for that unborn child... children have this amazing way of sensing feelings and we dont give them enough credit.... that child will know if you have unresolved feelings and it will be the child that suffers... whatever you decide be honest with yourself and what you are willing to forgive and forget....
good luck
2007-10-28 14:01:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,did she do the very thing she asked YOU not to do? Since she waited til after the honeymoon to tell you she was pregnant,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,sounds like she trapped you AND now threatens you to make you stay so you can be her meal ticket. Force her to do a DNA test. That will tell you if the baby is your's or not. Don't let a controlling woman use you like that. If the baby is your's take care of it, if not,,,put that user on the run.
2007-10-28 13:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd divorce her and fast. A DNA test can show the kid's not yours. If she did something like this to you, where does it stop?
2007-10-28 13:04:28 · answer #8 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋