My husband has tried to get us into the swinging lifestyle for sometime now. I am reluctan t for many reasons but my main one besides a moral issue is that he pouts if he doesnt get his way. He wants to talk about screwing others every time we have sex and if i dont then i get degraded and he goes into his ultimatiums, if things dont change we are getting a divorce. Tells me i am boring, calls me names etc and then goes to looking at personal ads. When we do have sex, i hardly ever get satisfied because he is done between 2 and 4 minutes. I end up pissed off. He has said swinging is for us to expand our sex life. Doesnt sound this way to me.
2007-10-28 12:35:16 · 16 answers · asked by If we don’t stand up for ourselves, NO ONE will 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
There is something wrong with your husband most husbands would die before seeing their wives with another man. He can't have any kind of respect for you to want to see you with another man. Could you honestly see yourself with someone else and your husband with another woman. Most couples who do this are sorry afterword's because the jealously comes into play,they just can't seem to get the picture out of their heads and they start comparing you to the other.
A very good friend of mine got married she was a virgin and her husband was nice until one year later he started asking her to sleep with other men so he could watch. She wouldn't so he told her if she did not do this for him he was going to leave her so she did it. After that he would call her from his job and say he was bringing someone home she knew what that meant. This went on for a couple of years and he left her anyway. She never was right after that i remember seeing her and she talked crazy about nothing and she got very mean towards people. I forgot to mention she had twin girls by him and both girls are in their late twenties now and both are on the street hooking with their mother. It's sad because her and i were in the first grade all the way through high school that's how close we were.
Just be careful.!!!
2007-10-28 12:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My cousin and her husband "expanded" their sex life like that. He divorced her after alot of years and 3 kids and married the other woman they were swinging with! (I don't know what happened to her husb) I think bringing anyone else into the bedroom is just plain wrong. I don't share my man (if I had one again) with ANYONE. He needs to turn his attention to you. If he can only last that long, then there's nobody that's gonna want to"swing" with him anyway. I wouldn't go for it. I'd call him on the divorce ultimatum. That's it.
2007-10-28 20:01:26 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust me, a person who is handing out ultimatums has already decided that they are going to dump you and is now just looking for an excuse. I had a fiancee who told me we were going to move to a new town or she was going without me. I paid for the move and she left me anyway after promising that we were getting married after the move. Let him divorce you, you deserve better than to have a husband who wants to bone someone else anyway. Let the loser go, there are plenty of men in the world who have the Nads to be faithful.
2007-10-28 19:44:07 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask the idiot how he plans to satisfy someone elses wife when he can't satisfy his own.
Don't give in to him. Stand up for what you believe. The way you have sex should be agreed upon by BOTH of you, he doesn't get to call the shots!
2007-10-28 20:42:13 · answer #4 · answered by Elt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOT boring or unattractive. Don't allow this prematurely ejaculating a.s.s.h.o.l.e. to destroy your self-esteem. It's totally WRONG for him to be calling you names just because you are not giving in into a life of promiscuity and cheating. What an i.d.i.o.t. to be married and looking at personal ads. There are many men out there who are wonderful human beings, with values and morals, respectful and loving and GOOD IN BED, too. You need to find someone who shares your same values to share your life with.
2007-10-28 20:36:02 · answer #5 · answered by MiaMonique 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is being very selfish.
Yes some people enjoy the 'swinging' lifestyle, and have no issues with it at all.
But I would have to assume that these people have absolutely no 'issues' within their marriage.
If one party isn't will to participate then its only going to cause trouble .........and furthermore how dare he 'bully' you into it??
Name calling is childish, and it doesn't sound like he wants to 'expand' your sex life for the 'right' reasons!
I would be re-evaluating my priorities.
2007-10-28 19:45:30 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This person does not love you the way you deserve to be loved and he certainly does not respect you.
A man who loves his wife and respects her does not want to think about someone else having sex with her. He is bored with you and your sex life and that is not love.
Leave him and keep your self respect. You deserve someone who only wants to be with you. Someone who cares whether you enjoy lovemaking and who would not want to share you with anyone.
Your huband sounds like a sexually immature little man and he needs professionally counseling. There is a true disease of being a sex addict and he sounds like he could qualify.
Don't wait for another ultimatum, just go.
Good Luck to You
2007-10-28 19:42:52 · answer #7 · answered by mn lady 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
never allow him to disrespect u, and force u into something u know is morally wrong. when someone disrespects, and name calls, they don't love u anymore, and wants someone new. but when we marry we have a commitment to that person, we gave a promise in front of god. marriage isn't a feeling but a choice that we make to stay in that marriage in spite of most circumstances. don't degrade yourself or go against your own heart. always be true to who u are. if he is treating u like this, why not ask him to go to therapy, if he refuses, get out of the marriage, he isn't your type of man.
2007-10-28 19:47:36 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his interest was in you he would not be looking outside the marriage and forcing you to agree with it. No wonder you have turmoil in your heart. Sex to him is just a self satisfying game. There's no BONDING in that. You deserve better than that. You still there???????
2007-10-28 19:55:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You'll never be right with it. You should tell your husband that sense he wants to live the single life style then you can help him with that. Name calling and every thing you mentioned is wrong. He needs to grow up and get a life. He is the one with the problem in the sack not you. He needs to work on pleasing you before he thinks he can please anyone else.....sorry
2007-10-28 19:40:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋