she says she wants to leave but always finds a reason or excuse why the time is not right or shes not ready. is she just stringing me along for support?
2007-10-28 11:59:37 · 23 answers · asked by Ryder 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is "stuck" in her own emotional world and not able to give you 100% that is why you are in the periphery.
I suggest you move on to better things and more opportunities - now.
2007-10-28 12:07:03 · answer #1 · answered by Contemplative 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I do not think she is stringing you along for support and yes you have been in a emotional affair for over 4 years and she says she is gonna leave but when the time comes she is not ready. I think there is something in the back of her mind preventing her from walking away it could be guilt, it could be love she still has for him, it could be many things maybe you need to talk to her and say I need to know the truth no matter what it is I need to know do not worry about hurting me if you are afraid of that. I think maybe she is holding back because she does not wanna hurt anyone and what if it does not work she ruined her marriage. There is a lot of things that may be on her mind you really need to sit her down and talk to her about it.
2007-10-28 12:10:59 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An emotional affair is still an affair. In many ways, it's more serious than a purely sexual affair because your friend has given her heart to you.
You haven't told us whether your friend has children from her marriage or other factors that might make it difficult for her to leave.
I would say that you are filling a void in her life. Her emotional needs are no longer be fulfilled by her husband, so she has turned to you.
Is this enough for you? Are you prepared to continue in this fashion? Or are you prepared for the fallout when her marriage comes apart? What do YOU want?
You can't make up her mind for her. You can only control whether you stay or go.
2007-10-28 12:09:57 · answer #3 · answered by vita64 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may be thinking that leaving is risky. She might be committed to you with her heart, but in a comfort zone within her marriage. Even if the marriage isn't good, she is still in that place where everything is comfortable and predictable. Some women feel they have to put their own needs aside and consider the people who may get hurt if this change takes place. If there are children involved she may be thinking of them and how all this could affect them & their future. I am in a similar situation and it is not easy for anyone invoved. Love is never easy. Give her time to work through this. Pray for a solution that doesn't hurt anyone. Good luck.
2007-10-28 12:18:55 · answer #4 · answered by heyjude 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course she is, and she's probably got you right where she wants you, and she's probably thinking to herself - 'Better the devil you know than the devil you don't...' When she says to you she wants to leave she's probably trying to get some sort of reaction from you, and (excuse me for guessing here) when you don't give the reaction that she wants, she then thinks - 'mmm, shall i stay or shall i go, decisions decisions, i'll stay for a little while more', but, when something better comes along, she will go. You're just there for convenience! Her beck n call. Sex on tap!!
2007-10-28 12:10:01 · answer #5 · answered by Tivvy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why does she say she wants to leave when she clearly doesn't ? Is she afraid of the big world out there without you?
You really need to sit down together and talk this through. If she does need support, how much are you willing to give her? Alternatively, if you feel it's gone on long enough, maybe you should end it. I don't know - it's your call. Hope this helps.
2007-10-28 12:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by SKCave 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
She is just string you on in hope that maybe you will become strong and be the man she is looking for, that will boss her into staying. Be a man and tell her what you want and that if that is what she wants then stay otherwise move on because you have more from life than what you are getting.
2007-10-28 12:03:50 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes, she is stringing you along. if she wanted to leave she would have already. you are just a "side dish" for her.
look, emotional affairs are as wrong as sexual. the closeness and conversation she should be sharing with her husband, as well as her dreams or desires, she's sharing with you. i'm not judging you but this is just as damaging to a marriage. you need to tell her you have been her friend but it's time for you to get on with your life. dont you want it to start for you??? why have you been waiting on her for 4 years? move on and don't look back, because people who will cheat with you also will cheat on you.
2007-10-28 12:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Like most people who cheat on their spouses, she's "having her cake and eating it too". If she really wanted to leave her spouse she probably would've done it the right way--before she started messing with you. And what makes you think she won't do the same thing to you when some "old friend" of hers shows up...they may even mess around for about four years too!
2007-10-28 12:04:29 · answer #9 · answered by Mama Nuveau 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's you who finds a reason,or an excuse,and maybe by putting the blame at her door,you're avoiding things you should be facing up to x
2007-10-28 12:20:58 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋