I know it's hard to know all that's going on from the little bit of information you can put on here, but please take a moment to let me know the impression that you get.
We've been together for three years and in that time have had an up-and-down roller coaster. When it's good, it's AWESOME and when it's bad it's awful. The good times far exceed the bad and I love him very much and know he loves me.
The past couple of weeks he's been disappearing for a while, about every other day or so. He'll say he's going to the store and be gone for two hours, then tell me he ran out of gas. Right now he's been gone for an hour when he said he was going to get diapers for our son. That trip should only take 20 minutes. We got into a squabble about 10 minutes before he left, where he said he feels like I don't appreciate him. But I DO, and I let him know that all the time....
I want this to work with him, not only for the baby's sake but because I love him.
2007-10-28 11:36:27 · 9 answers · asked by Dragonfly Girl 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Please don't say something judgmental like "you should have gotten married before you had a baby," I don't need to hear that. Does it sound like he's cheating? I'll give more details, ask anything and I'll elaborate. Please help.
2007-10-28 11:37:24 · update #1
Wow, this sounds like my relationship w/ my fiance. 3 1/2 years and it was all a roller coaster ride. We both came into this relationship w/ a lot of baggage and we both now have a lot of history together. What kept us going is that we always communicated; no matter how much we got so tired of it, we did. But we are no longer together as of this past Thursday. He's been wanting to leave the relationship here and there within the last year. Within the last year we lost a child. So I don't know...but most of all, do not assume anything; just take the time to communicate and find out what he needs and/or wants to help make things for the better. Then that's were compromising and understanding will fall in.
Good luck to the both of you and I hope you do not have to go through what I just went through because I still love hime; dearly.
2007-10-28 12:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like your squabbles affect him much more deeply than they affect you - you are able to deal with it and his reaction is to run away. you need to figure out how to make the downs not so down, whether it's to just quit talking about the issue, don't argu back, deciding on which arguments are worth it, which ones aren't, listening more, whatever, becuae as you guys go on, this relationship appears to have the tendency to get worse. so, start changing your behavior and see if that changes his behavior in return. if it does, then my guess is correct. if it doesn't, then i'd get a little suspicious. plus, if you guys are fiance's the fighting has got to be messing with his mind about whether he's making the right decision to marry. so.....help him to think he IS making the right decision by dismissing most of the bickering between you two. most fights are stupid and worthless. try walking away from them more (figuratively) and let there be peace.
2007-10-28 12:21:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't sound like he is cheating from what you have said. How often does he leave? The out of gas thing sounds odd, but it is possible. Maybe when he offers to "run an errand" you should offer to go with him. Or you could always follow to know for sure. But be prepared for a huge arguement if he finds out what you are doing. If you are correct, it will be better for you in the long run.
2007-10-28 11:44:13 · answer #3 · answered by randall7665 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Here's what you do the next time he has to go out. Tell him you want to go along for the ride to get some fresh air. If he gives you attitude then something is going on, and I don't think you should marry him. Get out now before you make a mistake.
2007-10-28 11:58:09 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The first sentence in the second paragraph got my attention. Up- and- down roller coaster is not the right kind of relationship. He may have a girlfriend somewhere too. There are all kinds of possibilities in your relationship with him. They should be positive. Think about spending the rest of your life with him, and think about the child. Have a long talk with him, and if it turns to another argument, ask yourself if he is what you want.
2007-10-28 11:50:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he's taking time to calm down.....hard to cheat in just an hour...you two need some serious counseling BEFORE you get married.....you cannot possibly have a successful marriage when there is 1) no trust and 2) no communication
2007-10-28 11:41:38 · answer #6 · answered by abc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you as i know hwo it can feel.
my bf said he was working the other night and said that the job blew out and he was out to 2am even though the job finished at 1pm. it sux and breaks the trust you have in him and its hard to get it back expecially if he is lieing to you about it.
He said he was at the pub no other women but the thing is how are you meant to believe them when they have already lied to you previously where they are.
i cant give you any advice if or not he is cheating on you as it is too hard to say unless you know.
i hope for your sake you guys can work it out and he stops the lieing and you can trust him again.
2007-10-28 11:44:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just give him a little space, w/out jumping the gun!! He's probly innocent of any thing yu can think of , when yuo're mad!! Be kind, gentle, and sexy!!
2007-10-28 12:11:26 · answer #8 · answered by happywjc 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my guess: you are too controlling for him, and he feels he needs more space
2007-10-28 11:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by yyyyyy 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋