How do I make it better?

Question

There is this guy I know. I have known him for 8 years during this time we became good friends. People use to enjoy seeing up arrive at events together..we are both considered to be the life of the party. The problem is- I use to make jokes about him and he did the same to me. Well Friday he tells me he use to hate to see me coming he described these events as torture. :( I didn't mean to hurt any one. Now I am totally attracted to him. He is so sweet and kind. But, everytime I try to bring up "us" he takes me back down memory lane. The only thing we do now is eye flirt. (Stare into each others eyes) I don't want to jump into anything sexually, but I do want to know where this could lead. We go to lunch together often, but those end in hysterical arguments. Is he interested or am I stalking?

Answer 1

Back off let him come to you. Tell him you are sorry for the past but, that's what it is past and you can't change it.

Answer 2

I am a little confused. You have been knowing this guy for 8 years. During the eight years of your friendship, have you ever known this guy to have a sexual relationship with a woman? If the answer is no, I want you to take a closer look. If the answer is yes, and he has never came on to you, he may just not be interested in you. In both cases I want you to take a closer look, before you find yourself in a onesided relationship.

Answer 3

Youre trying to push the matter somewhere it doesnt want to go. The damage is done s now time may heal it if you quit making fun of him and maybe someday something might start but as for now hes either testing you to make sure before he makes his move or hes only interested in being friends at this time. Give it time and stop trying so hard. Good luck

Answer 4

Try being more serious and responsible around him.
Try spending more time doing serious things together and you can try in the right time by telling him that you really like him a lot. Who knows he might respond positive or he might decide that being together with you is not a good idea at all. At least this way you will know by his response where he stands. What do you have to loose go for it.

Answer 5

I think you should leave him alone he isn't interested in you that way. I don't think he looks at you as his good friend. I could be wrong but it's what I'm getting from what you wrote. You hurt this guy very deeply and i think it's beyond repair. You might make eye contact but i bet you two aren't thinking the same thing. Back off and see if he contacts you if he does than take it from there.

Answer 6

You answered your own question. You both have too much invested. If you two were friends you wouldn't have these expectations of battle.
Friends must be the one place you can expect
to be respected and not be judged. Friends
also don't usually make sex a requirement. But you already know this, right? Look somewhere else for sex or find a new friend.

Answer 7

Sounds like he's hurt. His ego needs to be petted since you've cut him down so harshly so often. It may take some time. Just try to continue to be positive even when he "goes down memory lane". Then he'll begin to see your light rather than your darkness.

Good luck and many blessings.

Answer 8

Your message is a little confusing, but what I get from it is that you two don't get on, re: hysterical arguments?? doesn't sound like you've had a healthy relationship from the start. I wouldn't be wanting to start a relationship when your friendship isn't healthy.

Answer 9

So, you can't have lunch without screaming at each other? Does not sound like good stuff to me. I say, back off, let him decide what he wants. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Go see what you can catch.

Answer 10

Hysterical arguments ??

Doesnt sound like a healthy relationship to me.