like nothing, it is gone... no love anymore. How could you imagine living day to day without them in your life? What if he died? What would you do when it is too late to realize that you did actually still love him very much? How do you deal with death?
2007-10-28 10:40:43 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
no I dont want to kill him,,,,what I am saying is what if you leave and truely believe it is over, then if he died and you realized that you do love him but it is too late.... what would you do?
2007-10-28 10:46:08 · update #1
maybe I worded it way wrong... it isn't that I don't love him, I do. But you leave, then something happened, like death, and how do you deal? You realize too late... I dunno, maybe it was a stupid question.
2007-10-28 10:48:06 · update #2
If you have no love for your husband, the problem is you. The nature of true love is not that we expect our husband to fulfill our wishes and desires and to make us supremely happy. He would have to be God to do that. Love is patient, love is kind, it is thinking of the other person first. True love would wait a lifetime if the feelings of the heart weren't always what they wanted them to be. True love sacrifices itself for someone else. It builds someone else up, helps them grow and mature. True love does not seek it's own gain. So, the very fact that you feel that way tells me - you don't know what love is. The kind of love that keeps a marriage alive is one that keeps going regardless of your feelings that change like reeds blowing in the wind. The kind of love that keeps a marriage alive is constant and stable. Your feelings will change when you focus on these things. The kind of love that keeps an affair alive is the kind you're talking about - that kind of love fades and dies. All of that pent up "passion" and "romance" are false ideas for what love is. If that's all you're going on - marriage was never for you in the first place. You should have gone from fling to fling when the feelings fade - move on to the next fling and when the feelings fade- go on to the next person and so on. Well, that's your choice. If he dies - the problem was with you anyway - so you may experience some guilt for your feelings but you won't have any guilt regardless of your feelings if you took the actions that show real love. Well, if you take the actions that show real love - you're feelings will follow. You need real love in your heart first. That's where to start.
2007-10-28 10:49:25 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Youve hit the nail on the head. and into the wrong board.
People don't think with their heads any more. It's a game. It's all about the "heart". They are living a soaps life. Love appears and is gone in days . Greener pastures and all that. But you know, you cant call it by it's real names or you'll be shot down. And people want and need approval from other people to confirm that their actions were the right ones. The family unit is not the sounding board, the reality check, it used to be. Friends and strangers are. It' funny, ironic and sad. The younger crowd in here don't know what they are missing. I'm 64 and see the way the younger kids treat each other.
2007-10-28 11:01:35 · answer #2 · answered by reinformer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You and your baby deserve so much more than this! Do yourself a huge favor and let him go. Don't rush into anything like trying to get over him... because in order for you to completely move on, it'll take quite awhile to grieve. There is no reason to fight so hard to make things work anymore, when he hasn't put forth any effort on his part. One sided love is not love... it's just an infatuation. His heart is not with you. If you start focusing more on making a better life for you and your baby, eventually real, true love will find you. He just isn't the right person for you and you shouldn't hang onto him, unless you want to miss out later on.
2016-03-13 08:03:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can write a whole book on problems with my husband. He has cheated on me 8 times since we got together 14 years ago and he used to be the biggest jerk. Get this- he even has a 6 year old with some other homewrecker! It's all because our love was gone for each other. We went to marriage counseling and took a couple of classes at church and it doesn't take away all that's happened but we got to know each other again. I can't imagine getting with somebody else and have them learn all about me and me all about him when my husband knows me so well.
2007-10-28 10:48:56 · answer #4 · answered by Mamamia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course you'd be sad if your husband died after you divorced him but that's no reason to stay married now. Divorce is the death of a marriage and most people seem to second guess themselves when it's all over but that's normal. You have to go through a grieving process and eventually you'll be fine. I had absolutely no love left for my alcoholic husband and grew to resent him more and more each day so I finally divorced him. He got remarried and she claims he's sober and that made me very sad that he'd straighten his life out for her. But oh well, he's hers now and I've moved on for the better.
2007-10-28 10:52:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
absolutely love left husband
2016-02-03 16:12:21 · answer #6 · answered by Bryna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm divorcing after 31 years of marriage, if he died I'd have more money, take everything one day at a time here.
2007-10-28 11:11:29 · answer #7 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless he is abusive or has be unfaithful you don't leave. You keep the promises and vows you made, otherwise why did you make them in the first place?
2007-10-28 11:15:41 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I've said it several times, the opposite of love isn't hate, it's indifference. If you truly didn't love him, you'd probably feel sad but somewhat indifferent. If you loved him, you would be devastated.
2007-10-28 10:53:07 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
kim d, Dear you will always feel a bit of love when someone is gone but if you are not "in" love with a spouse it is best to say goodbye !
2007-10-28 10:48:58 · answer #10 · answered by lonewolf 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋