My sister is 23 with 3 kids and pregnant again?

Question

shes depressed and wants to kill herself. she doesnt have a job, highschool dropout, car broke down recently and her babydaddy is sorry!! she tells me these things over and over again and starts to cry. i dont know what to say i dont wanna give her the wrong advice any tips guys??

Answer 1

Maybe you can convince her to get birth control or to stop having sex with her "baby daddy." I know alot of people who won't get birth control because they cannot afford it so if that is the case, I'm sorry but tell her after she has this child to get her tubes tied. It seems like she is pretty sure she doesn't want to have any more children. Also, suggest she get some sort of counseling or apply for some programs through social services. They will really help her in this situation

Answer 2

Even with all that's going on and then being newly pregnant, she can still change things around. You should tell her that now is the time to make more responsible decisions...

1) She's pregnant with her 4th and hopefully she won't get an abortion, so it is what it is. The baby is growing inside her stomach as we speak. BUT, once she has this baby, she needs to go over birth control options and maybe even considering getting her tubes tied. BUT, even before all this, the LAST thing on her mind should MEN. ***tell her to seek child support through the court system for all three children and for the unborn child when it has arrived***

2) Killing herself wouldn't solve any of her problems, they would create more. Her children would have to deal with the grief stemming from her selfishness to commit suicide. Who would take in her three children and would they be able to take in ALL three. Not to mention if she kills herself, she will be killing an innocent unborn child.

3) Education is key and there's no getting around it, unless you have a money making idea that will stream in enough profit that she becomes self sufficient. There are many jobs that now require at least a High School Diploma that once didn't. Your sister really needs to get her Adult High School Diploma. It can happen even in her situation. Afterwards, she should explore getting a college certificate/associate's or bachelor's degree. Twenty-three is still very young to do something great with her life.

4) If she decides to go back to school, advise her to look for full-time or part-time work that will work around her school schedule. Many single mothers are doing the same, so it is more than possible.

5) As for transportation, hopefully there's a city busline that runs. If not, she needs to look into all other resources...friends, family, or a neighbor that has the same plans as her as far as going to school and or working. And never be too proud to walk, if anything is within walking distance. Just until she can either get her vehicle fixed or afford a better one.

Now is the time for her to be creative and not destructive. She has already had her share of destruction dealing with irresponsible men and making less than intelligent decisions. Help her as much as you can and in any way that you can. She will need lots of support, concern and motivation.

Everything can work out for the best for her if she is encouraged. Many have come from worst but have been able to turn it all around for the positive.

Answer 3

Wow! Well, unfortunately, there isn't much you can actually DO for her. It is very sad that she has put herself in a position where she just keeps having babies and can't take care of them. The best thing you can do for her is to be there for her and give her as much support as you can so that she isn't so depressed. Is your mom around to help her? Can you find her someone to talk to so she can get some help? Maybe get her on some birth control? Sounds like the last thing she needs is another baby... does she know that she has other options besides keeping the baby? I mean, really... she is going to have to turn her life around, get away from that baby daddy, stop having babies, get a job and find some resources so she can have a "normal" life. She can't keep going this way. She should probably find the welfare department in your state and county to get some financial help. Good luck.

Answer 4

ok she hasnt stopped bein a kid- she's been thorwn into to deal with adult emotions and realities wihtout an adult for a rolemodel.
1) she needs a mentor.
2 she needs help- often the town has a service called 411. call them up for asistance.
3 other mothers' groups in the area.
4 a doctor to deal with depression.
5 some spiritual stability- there's a reason why she doesnt want to be on her own. - this is just a way for crying out
for help( and no i'm not a judeo- christian wanting to recruit someone)

Answer 5

Sounds like it's time for some tough love. I know that you want to be there for your sister, but really she's doing this to herself. She needs to stop having children until she gets things straight in her life. Encourage her to see someone at her local health department about birth control, and stop telling her things will be "ok". Simply listen to what she has to say and ask her what he plans are. Put her into a position to make decisions that will be best for her and her children, instead of relying on the 'victim' card for more attention. I know it sounds harsh, but it's probably the only way you're going to get through to her. If you truly love her, you'll want what's best for her, and what's best is that she start taking responsibility and be a stable parent for her 3 (almost 4) children.

Answer 6

As far as the kids...tell her that it is way cheaper to get birth control, than it is to have an "uh-oh baby." Also keep in mind that there are several options for birth control from temporary methods (condom, spermicides, pill, nuvaring, patch, IUD) to permanent (tubal litigation) methods.

As far as a a job...education is usually required. So she should get her G.E.D. (in my area its 1 class and its free). Then go to college...a tech college is very affordable. Or, she could go to the military...the air force is great for women. My bff is in and she loves it. She has a 7month old and the AF takes care of them very well!

If she would rather go to college, tell her to major in something worthwhile. Also, tell her that the state will pay for you to go to college whether thru loans, grants or scholarships. And you don't have to have a 4.0 or 3.0 to get the funding. But since she has 3 1/2 kids...she prolly decide to go with the military. Good luck

Answer 7

Well she needs to think about her options. Just because she is pregnant doesn't mean she has to keep it. There are so many options to explore. There are many of couples that are wanting and waiting for children so they can have a family.
Plan parenting can help with discussing things. Then she should possibly discuss with someone in the medical field about possibly using some other form of birth control , IUD, depo shot and so on. Good Luck to her.
All you can do is support her the best you can emotionally and suggest she talks to someone professionally about her options.

Answer 8

She needs to invest in birthcontrol, she can actually get if for free. That is a start. Secondly, if the kids father isn't doing anything, she needs to look into child support. Also, she needs to look for a job or at least look into some kind of public assistance. How is she feeding them all with no job?

Answer 9

she needs to go and see a doctor as soon as possible she is suffering from post natal depression and it will only get worse once she has the baby. was she like this when she was pregnant with the other children if not then she is suffering badly from it this time. women do go through times when they cry during pregnancy but your sister seems from what you have said far worse than she should be. make sure she goes to a doctor very soon

Answer 10

Keep her legs closed till she meets a real man who will marry her,love her and take care of her kids. Go back and get a diploma at night school. She made her bed now buckle down and become a better person for the kids.