How well do marriages work where the wife cherry picks on what to follow which marriage is outlined of, for?

Question

example going like commitment, yes please, respect, yes make it double, obedience to your husband ? Heck no. A husband that lais down his life for his family ? Of course I expect that. Do those so called "modern marriages" work out better than the traditional ones ?

I call a marriage traditional where the bible is a guidepost for it.

Answer 1

My parents have been married for 40 years. No one wears the pants, my mom has consistently for the duration of their marriage been the sole earner (she put him through college) or has always made at least double what my dad makes currently she makes about 3 times what my dad makes.

Not only has their marriage lasted but the love and the lust is still there. My dad constantly shows his attraction for my mom, with a nipple tweek there and butt pinch here. It's gross when I see it, but it still reminds me that my parents still desperately love each other.

"Modern Marriages" work, my parents are proof of that.

Answer 2

First, you can't assume that there is a single set of "vows" on which all people getting married will agree upon. Many people write their own vows or use more contemporary versions of traditional vows which do away with things like obey. As long as both husband and wife are agreeing on certain aspects of marriage beforehand, no cherry picking need occur.

I think where things go badly wrong is when couples really don't talk about their expectations ahead of time. To me, marital commitment has been much devalued, so people don't enter into a marriage with the seriousness that it deserves. I know in some religions, couples go through some counselling before they are allowed to marry in the church. I don't agree with much of the content of the counselling received, at least the ones I'm familiar with. But the concept is a good idea.

In the end, if the wife doesn't honour the commitment of marriage, the marriage probably works out about as well as when the husband doesn't honour the commitment.

Answer 3

I'm not really clear on what your question is, but my best guess is that regardless of whether it's the husband or the wife that's demanding, happiness will fly out the window - real fast. This is true in both traditional AND modern marriages.

Answer 4

not sure what you mean by modern. Do you call traditional marriage where the man is dominant and the wife is subservient? Marriage is a partnership and what works best is compromise and sharing. Sometimes the wife gives more and sometimes the husband. It never works when one person insists on always having their way.

Answer 5

I don't think any relationship, be it married or unmarried, would work out if you cherry picked what you will get out of it.

Marriage is based on mutual attraction, friendship, partnership, and a desire to spend the rest of your life with this person.

That isn't a "modern" marriage; it's a recipe for disaster.

Answer 6

As long as both members of a married couple agree on their vows, there's no reason they can't select those in the traditional vows which they agree with and ignore the ones which treat women like chattel.

Obey? Ha!

Answer 7

That's quite a sad chip you have on your shoulder, pumpkin.

Answer 8

No, because a woman does not stick to the expectations she laid down at the beginning. She makes more and more as it proceeds. She keeps pushing the envelope until one of three things happen, all of which she was aiming for:

1. The husband cheats. She finds out and they divorce.
2. The husband divorces her.
3. The husband jumps off a cliff.

That's why they say,

"A woman will go into a marriage hoping her man will change but he does not. A man will hope that his woman never changes but she does".