The Boy Scout?

Question

OK I have this book that deals with all these personility types and how they play into dating. One area lists different "types" of men and while the names are kind of silly the descriptions are sooooo right on.
One of the types listed is the "Boy Scout" and I'm sitting here thinking while that type sounds nice on paper--the one's I've seen are rather sad....what do other women (or men) think?

I'll qout the description: "Always solving everyone else's problems, scouts do more than thier share. Charming, empathetic, loyal, dependable,protective, thoughtful, optimistic, practical, and unlikely to take sides in a conflict, he gives much more then he gets. It makes him feel good to make a difference. He obeys society's rules and saves his money wisely. A scout has an innate feeling of responsibility to help others and feels guilty when he takes--thus, his own needs often go unrecognized."

Suspect Zero: I hope you don't mean you allow your own needs to be left unmet? There are so many of the boy scout qualities that are wonderful but like one poster said it's like they fix it and move on---it seems they can't sit still long enough to keep an ongoing bound.

Answer 1

Please don't think I'm being pessimistic, but that description as a whole, seems irrealistic to me.
Most of those qualities are wonderful, but all in one person...hmm, I haven't seen it yet.
But then again, I'm no one to judge that either, solely based on my experience, that would be very ignorant of me.

We all have good and not-so-great characteristics, I didn't see any mention of flaws. I'm a realist and would like to see the strengths and weaknesses displayed for me.
But let's say that such person did exist, there were two traits that didn't appeal to me:
1) Obeying society's rules - I am attracted to people who think for themselves and follow their own rules in life, as long as they hurt no one in the process.
2) Feelings of guilt leading to own needs being unrecognised - It's wonderful to be a giving person, but not to the extent in which one does prioritise one's personal growth and happiness as well, I believe in balance between the two.

Interesting question. :-)

Answer 2

I object to the "Boy Scout" category. It perpetuates a stereotype of what people think a Boy Scout is.

The Scout Law (Trustworty, Loyal, Helpful, etc.) are ideals set forth for young men in Scouting. Few live up to them all of the time and to think such a man exist that does is poor thinking.

As an Eagle Scout, and someone who worked for the Boy Scouts of America in a professional capacity I cannot name one person who fits that mold. Some are really close, but they all have their faults, myself included. I would also add that if I were to make a list of the Eagle Scouts I personally know, the list would be very, very long.

The description you quote is also somewhat flawed. Scouts are ENCOURAGED to take sides in a conflict. It is a hallmark of leadership. Likewise, the other qualities so nicely orderd in laundry list fashion are almost always the result of taking a side in a conflict. It is very hard to be empathetic, protective, and loyal without having a stake in something. The innate feelings of responsibility common in this stereotype are also a result of being placed in situations of leadership.

Young women, however, rarely find someone with these qualities appealing unless they have had the same upbringing. Additionally, other men will also find these character traits something to scorn in those that posess them. Since kids are naturally wicked to one another, and those who mock others are "the cool kids", men, scouts or not, who posses the scoutlike qualities are usually labled as odd and outcasts.

Consquentially, those of us who do fit the "Boy Scout" mold often have alter-egos or engage in some sport or activity that has a higher degree of challenge or risk-of-fatality in order to balance out the goodie-goodie archetype.

Answer 3

Yikes! That hits pretty close to home... but then again... when we look at ourselves, we seldom match up to how others see us. I think that definition is for observation of others rather than self analysis.

I think Ideally, the boy scout is the way to go. We all should try to emulate an upstanding life that is of value and service to others around us, and the "boy scout" seems to fit that ideal. Just the same, there are times when all fall short... ergo, being human.

p.s. The Violinist - I think the context of the question was reflective of a relationship... at least, that's how I took it. Boy scout in a relationship is good stewardship of that within his world. That would include keeping service on a scale of priority with those in primary relationships.

Helping others to the neglect of the priority relationships or yourself, would not be in keeping with responsible behavior.

Answer 4

Well, it's good and bad, I know a guy just like that.

He wears himself out because he has to be everything to everyone all at once.

He also has a hard time keeping the friends after he helps them, because he just sees it all as a big puzzle. He fixes it and then moves on. I hear from him maybe once every couple months... and he considers me a good friend.

On the flip side, when he has a girlfriend, she is his everything and he wants to do everything for her. Also if I ever leave a message crying on his phone, he calls me right back.

They're wonderful people, but sometimes really hard to understand.

Answer 5

Women say they want the "Boy Scout", but they go after the "Rogue" or the "Caveman". They eventually gravitate towards the "Boy Scout" after calibrating their practical needs. In the meantime she has already pursued her visceral needs and the "Rogue" and "Caveman" are in the background with a satisfied smile!

Answer 6

He sounds like he'd be a nice guy, but a little too friendly. It's never good to be nice to the point where you completely forget about yourself.

Answer 7

I think that discripeds boy scouts!!!!!!!!!1

no just kidding it means people who are loyal ,trustworthly and, care about family and friends very much,

Answer 8

er... nevermind