So almost 26 years ago I married a man who was not exactly ideal marriage material. We're both in our 50's now and have found each other again, quite by accident, through our daughter, who had not seen him for almost 8 years. We have been talking every day since that, he has been over to spend time with our daughter and granddaughter, and he seems to be a much different man.
He wants us to be married again and says things like how it would have been better if he had been ready back then and that now we could have so much better a life together.
Any thoughts?
2007-10-28 05:09:27 · 31 answers · asked by Que bella 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do it. A marriage is supposed to be forever, and this sense, you were never really divorced.
Just consider it like you needed some space for a while (granted, a long while).
Well, I expected there would be some liberals coming on here saying "it probably won't work again." Don't pay attention to them. Most of these 20-something "experts" don't have a lot of undestanding about life.
2007-10-28 05:13:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you where so incompatible that you got divorced, what makes you think that it will be any different this time? I see this everyday, people getting remarried to the same person because they "actually do love each other". If this is true, why was there a divorce? If you could not work out your differences before, you won't work them out now. For most people it is a convenience or companionship thing. Afraid of being alone, having someone there to help with things, or just needing someone to talk to. In fact, you can find all of those things in any friend or even your daughter. You have to think long and hard about what it was that caused the divorce in the first place, and has that issue been resolved or changed in anyway, before you go out and marry this person again.
2007-10-28 12:47:27 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just take it slow. He may indeed have changed for the better but only time will tell that. On the other hand, be at least a little suspicious for a while yet. Are you better off financially than him? If you went on to build up a good life and he has nothing, that could be one reason for wanting to try again.
you might also try going to handwriting wizard and learn the basics of what his handwriting tells you. If he puts a knot in the top of his letter O for example he is very secretive. where he crosses his letter T will tell you where his goals are and the degree of slant will tell you how emotional he is, just to give you a few examples. He could be very sincere, and I hope for your sake he is, but be cautious and don't rush in too fast.
2007-10-28 12:24:09 · answer #3 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i dont care how ols a person is. most people never really change. if yall broke up back then becaues of his ways then don't expect those ways to be all different.
now im sure that he has matured with his age... but most people stay the same as far as who they are.
in live you should never go backwards. there was a reason he was a ex and in the past. all ways push forward and see what lys ahead for you. just explain to him that there was a reason you didnt work out and it wasnt just because he wasnt ready.
it sounds like he is tired of women not wanting him for some reason and now he's coming to you because your availible.
don't do it. do not settle for him and the great part of him (the part before moving together). value you more!
2007-10-28 12:16:23 · answer #4 · answered by neverlie 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that's a sweet story. You may want to hold off on the marraige bit, as he has quite a past to overcome. Why not start dating casually and build up to living together? If the two of you have lived together successfully for a while, then start talking about marraige. Marraige is such a big step and it something that you should rush into. Live together first and see if any of his bad habits still remain.
2007-10-28 12:14:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Times and circumstances can force ppl to change. Be careful. Watch for signs of the things that made you two split before. Maturity is a great thing. It's possible maybe just the timing was off the first time you got together.
2007-10-28 12:16:13 · answer #6 · answered by zredd7 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it's a beautiful oppotunity...but you have to also ask yourself if all the reasons why the relationship didn't work out in the first place, have actually changed. For instance did he "grow up" in maturity? Is that why he "wasn't ready"? And another thing....why wasn't he in your daughter's life for 8 years and does he truely regret it? It's not fair to you, your daughter, or your granddaughter to have him in your life, if he hasn't really changed.
2007-10-28 12:21:23 · answer #7 · answered by stephygigi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take is slowly. Don't jump into a marriage too quickly and get to know him again. Date, have some fun, let time tell. He may be caught up in what "might have been" as well as you. It may be true that he may be a changed man, but also remember, you are also a changed woman. Talk, get to know eachother once again, and don't jump the gun.
2007-10-28 12:18:05 · answer #8 · answered by BluePassion 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Think before you leap. I would take things extremely slow. I think that people can change some things and this might be good for both of you. Just be careful not to get back into the same situation that lead to you divorce. Good luck.
2007-10-28 12:37:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People do change. I know I'm not the same person that I was 26 years ago! Listen to your instincts. If you love him now, and feel it would work this time, then go for it! But don't do it if you have any doubts.
2007-10-28 12:14:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋