She calls me a b*stard and screams at me. Says im stupid and things like that because i dont want to live with her anymore. She tells me i cant live or support myself on my own and threatens me if i try or if i do she will be angry and worse. Im 26 and she will guilt trip me into trying to live with her. Why does she call me a b*stard and do this?
2007-10-28 04:58:53 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I wasnt born out of wedlock so I dont know why she says that.
2007-10-28 05:11:09 · update #1
If she enjoys your company, she may feel that you are betraying her by leaving. She is insecure and feels that you are her life. If you leave, then she will be lonely and unhappy.
Or, if she is miserable or unhappy, she may take out her anger on you. By putting you down, she can make herself feel better. Without you there to put down, she is forced to face the truth about herself. Please don't take her comments as a truth.
Either way, she needs to let you be free to make the choice for yourself. If you want to move out, go ahead and do so, but let her know that you care about her very much and need to grow up and do things on your own. And don't listen to her doubts about you. You know how strong you are and how tall you can stand.
However, it seems like she needs your help. Try to be supportive of her as best as you can, but don't let yourself be dragged down. See if you can get counseling or a support group for her (or maybe yourself if you find it difficult to cope with). Good luck.
2007-10-28 05:07:52 · answer #1 · answered by Sibyl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Two words...verbal abuse. She is a verbally abusive mother who apparently has issues with you growing up. BUT...are you living with her? At 26? MOVE OUT! Find a place and get out on your own. You don't need this and it may change things once you are out. She can not guilt trip you into anything that you do not allow her to guilt trip you into. You are more than an adult now, hopefully are more than capable of living on your own (job, responsibility), and you need to leave that immediate household. And possibly the relationship if it does not improve. You need to tell her that you will NOT put up with that anymore and if she wants to talk to you, she will do so in a civil and polite tone. Do not scream back at her and do not engage in conversation when she is being like this. It is not normal.
2007-10-28 05:04:30 · answer #2 · answered by Jules, E, and Liam :) 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she has EXTREME mental issues most likely connected with men in her past - my guess starting with her Father and then YOUR Father. She HATES men - I'm guessing you are a man of course - if you are a woman, the same would apply to her Mother - - -
Anyway, this is clearly ABUSE - of the WORST kind. She is a very SICK lady, and no matter WHAT she threatens with, you NEED to get away from her NOW!! Before you do, buy yourself a good small tape recorder and tape a few of her nasty comments towards you - - take the tape, and give it to someone you really trust, tell them to please turn it over to the police just in case she tries ANY retribution towards you after you leave. Pack your things without her knowing, secure a place to move to, then GO!!
Of course she wants you to stay - she needs you there to feed her sickness. YOU, however, do NOT need to be her scapegoat, and owe this woman NOTHING. After you leave, please get yourself some good counseling to help erase any guilt feelings or bad feelings towards yourself for finally having the guts to put an end to a VERY bad relationship with a VERY sick lady.
TRUST ME, you have EVERY right AND reason to LEAVE!!!
2007-10-28 05:12:25 · answer #3 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude, you're 26. you're a grown guy you're able to desire to circulate out. appears like she needs you around for her very own egocentric motives. you in basic terms could desire to bypass away. you will have left the nest awhile in the past. in case you have and activity, funds, and acquaintances then you've a ability. First get a place. Get it set up. Then once you mom is at artwork circulate out. bypass away a observe in case you want, yet in basic terms bypass away do no longer tell her the place you're at. After some weeks, call her. I enable her understand the minute that she starts off to guilt holiday you that she needs to renounce, or you will hang up the telephone. tell her which you love her, yet you're your guy or woman guy or woman. and that i she would be able to't deal, to speak to her anymore. call on birthdays, and holidays.
2016-10-02 23:02:12 · answer #4 · answered by Erika 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guilt she is placing on you into staying is a mental and emotional issue that she needs to resolve herself. At 26, you should be responsible for yourself - that means a job and a place to live without her assistance. You need to move and she needs counseling. Unbelievable...
2007-10-28 05:17:47 · answer #5 · answered by carmelcavalier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You asked this ? an hour ago . . . . and got some really good answers. Didn't you like any of them ? Besides, you already know the answer. Based on your additional comments an hour ago I'd say your Mom is taking out her resentment for your Dad on you. She wants you to choose her over him, which is totally wrong. The real question is why you would alllow her to treat you like that. For the second time today, MOVE OUT ~ MOVE ON !!
2007-10-28 05:10:39 · answer #6 · answered by worldhq101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well she shouldn't call u names but on the other hand if u can afford to live on your own u should...Your relationship with your mother sounds very strained..Maybe this is a good time to find your own place without telling her until u move out.Good luck
2007-10-28 05:03:00 · answer #7 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay - because she's LOSING you. It's her "anger" of being without you. Are you the baby or the first born or an only child? Parents usually get upset when you want to live away (not mine surprisingly) from them because they feel they're not wanted any more. She'll get over it. Just Ignore it - and also how old is your mom? Is she hitting menopause???? Think about that too!
2007-10-28 05:02:37 · answer #8 · answered by contrabandamanda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have gotten so angry at my kids but have and would NEVER call them such a name regardless,you are old enough spread your wings get a job and a place to live you CAN do it and dont ever let anyone tell you different.she will be hurt when you are gone but will sit and think about what she has said to you so when you visit she will be so much better to you.GOOD LUCK
2007-10-28 05:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well at that age i don't know if that's normal but you should stand up for your self CZ your 26 well i know its not right if you are younger but now I'm not sure you guys should sit down and talk to each other and let you speak your mind and tell her just to listen but other Wise don't know sorry if I'm not that mush of help
2007-10-28 05:07:06 · answer #10 · answered by ~*Kirsten*~ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋