Wome why not change your last names? Why not become a unit?

Question

Not an anti-feminist by any means, but this is one thing I cannot quite comprehend.

Women****

Answer 1

Why should I have to change a part of my identity?

Why not him?

I can't comprehend why last names mean so much to so many men. I've come to the conclusion that it's because they want to dominate over their wives.

I don't want to be in a relationship in which I'm dominated, I want an equal and happy relationship.

In the end it's a decision between the people involved in the relationship, though.

Answer 2

A woman keeping her own name poses no threat or problem in a marriage. Why a man would make a big deal out of this and be offended is really beyond comprehension. If he knows she is his life partner and they are committed to each other, the name must never be made an issue.

Everyone, female and male, came from the seed of their fathers. Therefore, all of us naturally carry the name of our fathers at birth. That's our birthright. Therefore, any children born to a couple bears the father's name. The wife is not her husband's child. Keeping her own name does not stop that from happening.

No one has the authority or the right to put a guilt trip on women who want to keep their own names during marriage. Women must never be treated as if they have mental problems just because they don't want to go from "Miss" to "Mrs." Men who refuse to marry women just because they won't take their names are being foolish, trivial, heartless, and insecure.

Answer 3

How does having the same last name make a couple more of a unit? Should we dye our hair the same color, as well?

Why am I expected to change MY name?? Should we not BOTH change our names to the same thing?

The practice dates back to when a girl was sold from her fathers house into her husbands, and then his name replaced her fathers. (That's why it's called "giving the bride away".)

Answer 4

Because it's my name. Because my surname is unique, and there are only 4 of us in the world - me, my parents, and my father's cousin's daughter. After we die, so does the family name. My husband, on the other hand, was adopted when he was six by his mother's second husband, and his name was changed to match theirs. His surname is very common - there are literally millions of them in the world. There are two other people in his office with the same surname, and none of them are related. He's talked a few times about changing his last name to match mine, but we really don't see it as an issue. We're a unit, and it has nothing to do with having matching surnames.

Answer 5

For professional reasons. People who publish their work aren't supposed to change their name. It's confusing for readers. Other professional reasons would cover actors, composers, poets, singers, artists, etc. Also, the way divorce is these days, why should women change their name every time. Some people would have 3 or 4 or more names.

Answer 6

as a feminist, i totally understand why a woman would want to keep her own name. but as a woman about to be married, i understand why a woman would want to change it as well. my fiance is a male feminist and would never pressure me to change my last name; however, i WANT to. i have no bond with my father and the way i look at it, he should have no part, name included, in my happy relationship. taking my fiance's name will give him respect while clearly taking any undeserved credit from my "father". this is my stance. if i was close to my father, i might keep my own name. it really depends. it bugs me when women bash others for changing their names; it's not always about "dominance". sometimes a woman just wants to share one more thing with her spouse. why should anyone give a **** except the actual couple? it is no one's business, really.

Answer 7

Women that refuse to change their name are simply retaining control of that aspect of their lives.

And the old "he just wants to control her" argument gets really tired after a while. It's not about control, it's about commitment. Women are looking for men to marry them and spend their whole lives together. Traditionally this included being the monetary provider and basically maintaining the household. In return it was expected that the wife would take the man's name so she would be acknowledged as married and his legacy through his children would be set. In and of itself, not a bad tradition. Modern society has devalued the stay at home mom to the point where many women return to their careers as soon as physically able, leaving the upbringing of their children to others.

An old fashioned family life was not unequal. Each partner had responsibilities, and they were shared. It was only later, as money became more of a factor, that women felt the home was no longer adequate.

Answer 8

Because I was an individual before I got married, and I'm still an individual. For me, marriage is a partnership, not merging of 2 individuals.

Answer 9

i've had my last name all my life and am quite happy with it! and i really feel a part of my family - all my siblings and mother (my father passed away).

to give up my name would be akin to give up a part of my myself, part of my identity, to give up my family. i think i would actually grieve it!

i will not give that up. i do want a partnership but i don't think you have to give things up (particularly from just one half) to form a partnership.

i think hyphenated names truly show the partnership between two individuals who come together to form a unit. just look at businesses that merge - for example, cbs & warner bros. just joined together - the station is now called cw. this is a true partnership.

Answer 10

Instead of what # 1 answerer said, why don't they both just hyphenate their names?