I found out that my 12 year old son was looking for porn on the internet. There were about 20 different searches in the google history. He was very embarrassed when I confronted him about it. I know that kids his age are curious, but I just don't know what to say to him so as not to make him feel ashamed about his curiosity. This is the second time he has done this. The first being a few months ago. I bought a couple of books for kids about sex that I bought for him in case it came up again and I just gave them to him after we talked about it, but I feel like he should talk to someone. He says that it is embarrassing and doesn't want to talk to my husband or his grandfather about it. I told him that the computer is completely off limits for the rest of the year unless it is school related and I am with him. The computer is in a high traffic area of the house and he was doing this when I wasn't home. I don't want to make a bigger deal out of this than it is. Any thoughts?
2007-10-28 04:10:00 · 16 answers · asked by Ellen H 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
good to see the computer isnt in his room - that is one thing you have done right! yeah!!!
I personally dont let my kid use the internet if I am not home, and I know she doesnt... (we have dial up.. easy to see if she is on line or not because it uses the only phone line we have)
he is looking it up because he is interested.. he probably doesnt understand why internet porn is bad.. and even so... some times kids are more intrigued when they are told things are taboo.. most people in our society are somewhat messed up on sexual issues.. not open enough...
talk to him.. if you make him feel bad he will repress some sexuality and this is what makes people become perverts.. be open about it.. anything.. no embarassment.. heck get a Playboy Mag for him.. nothing hard core though...
you and your hubby should have been talking openly to him for years before now.. then he wouldnt feel awkward or embarassed...
start talking now openly and make it fun... not embarassing...
2007-10-28 04:32:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Porn is a problem on the internet, and some of it is extremely dangerous. But hey, the kid is looking into it, that is why schools have sexual education programs to help with this. The problem is they are about protection and abstaining. The issue that will still remain as he will still be curious. No matter what you do or say, he is still going to be curious. What you should try to do is repeatedly make attempts at talking about relationship issues with him so that he will be more open later to talk about other issues. If you ween into the porn thing from other angles and don't try to jump into it, you may be able to ease a good answer out of him. But he's curious, we all were, and some are still, just keep an eye out because he's 12!
2007-10-28 04:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by Living In Fast Forward 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
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RE:
What do I do about my 12 year looking for porn on the internet?
I found out that my 12 year old son was looking for porn on the internet. There were about 20 different searches in the google history. He was very embarrassed when I confronted him about it. I know that kids his age are curious, but I just don't know what to say to him so as not to make him...
2015-08-19 01:21:30 · answer #3 · answered by Fredda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Can I just remind you....he's 12 not 2! That's what guys his age do! I'm 13 and the lads I know all look at porn on a regular basis (daily). I don't understand why you are punishing him which is perfectly natural. If you have younger children in the house teach him how to erase the sites from the history so that younger kids don't get on it by accident. Don't punish him you'll just drive him away. And as another answerer said 'He'll just go back to ogling the Victoria's Secret catolog'...And you'll be lucky if it is just Victoria's Secret...would you rather he looks at it on the computer or in magazines that younger children can find easily??
Mariahhh...Ox
2007-10-28 07:46:19 · answer #4 · answered by Mariah♥ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you have netnanny or one of those programs that prevents those sites from showing up? Cause point being: he's a growing boy with all those hormones raging about. He's curious and he's going to keep looking, is up to you how you want to prevent his finding porn. But seriously, he isn't looking for porn to learn about the birds and the bees, a kids sex book isn't going to thrill him the same way some airbrushed naked chics are and therefore aren't the answer to this dilemna. I'm sure you have warned him of the dangers of the internet. I'd simply explain it isn't safe for him to go to those sites, and why, and as his loving mother it is your job to keep him safe, and henceforth, from now on, his computer time will be monitored. That way he can be safe on the computer, and will probably go back to ogling the Victoria's Secret catalog stuffed under his bed.
2007-10-28 05:10:27 · answer #5 · answered by Ista 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, one, make sure you confront him privatly, and maybe try to get your husband to do it. My brother is that age, and he sure doesn't like my mother to talk to him about that kind of stuff. Your son probably doesn't need sex ed books, because he's most likely heard all that stuff in school. But you need to explain to him what's wrong with looking at porn on the internet, and the dangers. Don't punish him, that will only make him want to do it more. But make sure there is always someone around when he is on the computer, you don't need FBI knocking on your door.
2007-10-28 04:17:05 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You should get some parental controls on the computer. If you get like MSN or anything like that they automatically have it with the software. You also should have another man talk to him because every guy has looked at porn before, and they know what to say.
2007-10-28 04:31:01 · answer #7 · answered by Steven 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally when I became interested in knowing about sex my mother took me to a planned parenthood (I was about 13 or so) and I got to sit down alone with a councilor.
It felt much better just talking to the councilor alone, and being able to ask whatever I wanted to ask without being self conscious.
I wasn't having sex at that time, and I didn't have sex for a long while after I went there, but I did want some information.
Sometimes kids want answers but they are to shy/embarrassed to ask their parents. Believe me, take him to the local clinic.
Its better for him to start learning about this stuff now, before he does anything. Rather than him just asking his friends at school, and when he does start not knowing what he is doing.
2007-10-28 04:25:12 · answer #8 · answered by Heather R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is not a good idea to tell him he cant use the computer because he will anyways the best thing to do is put a password on the computer so he has to ask you before he uses it then have him tell him tell you what he'll be doing also don't check after hes done trust him then talk to him about sex and keep informing him about the mal and female body so hes just gets bored.
2007-10-28 07:48:10 · answer #9 · answered by harrypotter#1fan 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
definitely don't embarass him, just confront him in private, just the two of you.
porn for curiousity is totally normal, i think. people may say its not normal, but wait until you're 12 or have a 12 year old in today's world..... thats just the way it is.
just talk to him about it. nothing else.
2007-10-28 05:55:05 · answer #10 · answered by car<3ly. 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋