A guy I dated for 2 years, he did not have any male friends in his life, nor careless about his relatives. He said he loved me and wanted all the attention from me. He would be angry if I met with my felmale friends or co-workers without him. His only friend was his ex wife, whenever we had a argument, he would run back to his ex and accused me that I make him leave because I wanted to make new friends while he contacted his ex al the times. They have been married for 15 years and divorced for 3 years. Why he wanted to go back to his ex when he told me that the reason why he divorced his ex, because she was so needy and controlling? Why people wanted to go back to a unhealthy relationship and keeping doing the same thing to their new partner? Are they mentally ill?
2007-10-28 03:12:09 · 11 answers · asked by Kim J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Very interesting post... People always go back to what they find comfortable but him going back to his Ex is completely wrong. Actually, I find it kind of crappy. Next time you guys have issues, tell him your going back to your Ex and see his reaction.
As for friends... Im havin issues with my wife and she has no friends either. I have friends and tons of hobbies and she accuses me of putting them first. Im no genius but I think the end is coming for both of us.
GL
2007-10-28 03:24:16 · answer #1 · answered by Paul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a guy who says his ex wife is controlling so he is trying to control you now. I don't think that is a mental illness as much as a defect in his character. He need counseling to get past this and perhaps build up his self esteem. You need to get this guy out of your life and move on or his isolation will become ours and you will have no friends either. Just the fact that he has no friends and is careless abut his relatives shows that he needs some serious counseling to learn how to deal with people. If you are really emotionally involved with him after the two years you can try the counseling with him but otherwise just move on and find someone else. He has some very serius issues he needs to work out.
2007-10-28 03:36:38 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry to hear that your ex-wife cheated on you. No matter how hurt you are, you must stand up and fight against your emotions. Life is too short for us to keep hovering over infidelity issues. Yea,it's always easier said than done. Be a strong man and do not let an unfaithful wife wins you over. You were doing the right thing by divorcing her but that doesn't mean all women are the same. Find out if another woman prefers to be with a divorcee before you start falling in love with her. If you find it hard to trust another woman after what had happened, I suggest that you put your trust in God and His provision for you. He'll surely provide you with a faithful and good wife if you ask Him in prayers. On your part, you gotta put in effort in building this trust with a woman. A woman is unlikely to be unfaithful if everything goes right in the marriage. So examine yourself first and ask yourself if you've ever done something that could cause a woman to be unfaithful.
2016-04-10 22:50:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So basically you had no boundaries in your relationship that he wouldn't talk with his ex-wife? Or did he lie to you about it?Reread what you have written? You think he is mentally ill because he wanted to go back to an unhealthy relationship and keep doing same thing to new partner? Not much sense.
2007-10-28 03:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG I am looking in a mirror!!! WOW! I have no clue as to why he couldn't leave her in the past. But..i think it is okay to be civil with your ex. Be friends in a sense that if you see them crossing the road you don't try to run them over. But talk on the phone all of the time and such.. no way. Mine used to run to her rescue every time she needed him. Our fights about it usually had me accusing him of playing husband to her. It is sticky situation. I think a friendship of that magnitude is not completely normal. And I also believe that once he found out you were hurt by the relationship, it should have been over between them immediately, no questions asked.
2007-10-28 05:56:17 · answer #5 · answered by ? 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He feels comfortable with his ex, and this is in his mind, his family and friend. I mean, who knows? maybe they are gonna work out and be together forever? Then again, maybe not, time will tell, but its his life. What bothers me is not so much him and his love life, its you, you seem to be the one who seems overly worried about this, I think that you may still have feelings for him, but you are in denial. I mean who cares if he wants his ex back? let it go! And he,s not mentally ill, he just wants love and attention, and thinks he,s gonna get it with his ex, is their anything wrong with that?
2007-10-28 03:39:18 · answer #6 · answered by penelope 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honestly ....they could not work out their own issues in 15 years of marriage ....so what makes them qualified to discuss what can fix his with yours now? He is trying to control you not relating to others without him and uses his exwife to get back at you. It was not your problem that he was antisocial and did not get counseling in which he needed to get over himself! He states to you that the reason he left her was because the ex was needy and controlling...when in reality it was him that had the problem and he is not right in himself. He has a passive agressive personality blaming others for his choices in life. Yes I do believe the man is mentally ill.
2007-10-28 05:41:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep away from this guy He's bad news... and by keeping you from your friends... he's starting the abuse thing with you. It's a typical reaction of insecure men who abuse women.
Move on. get rid of him go find someone else.
You do NOT want any part of this guy really! And I mean RUN in the opposite direction.
And ask yourself, why would someone so controlling be attractive to you? gives me the creeps
2007-10-28 04:02:21 · answer #8 · answered by teritaur 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is called torture.....if you don't do/or do this I will hurt you by doing this....no person has a right to say, and treat you like of you don't behave a certain way that they will hurt you with something. This guy sounds mean....insecure and selfish. Sorry to say it, but if this is what he does, he only cares about himself and can't see past this aspect of himself to care about what his actions do to you. I would be offended, angry and I wouldn't stand for this behavior.....always having the threat of another woman hung over my head? No thank you.
2007-10-28 03:29:41 · answer #9 · answered by Rein 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he wanted his cake and eat it too. If the woman was so bad why did he go back. It is obvious to me that he still was in love with her. And my advice to you is to move on and don't worry about him any more cuz it is obvious he has already made his decision.
2007-10-28 03:24:42 · answer #10 · answered by stepintostep 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋