There was a woman in her late 20s who was tired of being a virgin decided to lose it to her boyfriend Tom. Little did she know until she went to the doctor that her vagina wasn't developed for some reason(she didn't know that but she has been on hormone therapy because of low estrogen (everything else is normal except the estrogen) for years).
Anyway when she did have intercourse she experienced excruciating pain in her vagina and told Tom to stop but he wouldn't he'd cover her mouth and hold her down so she wouldn't move. She didn't want this to be a rape so she kept quiet biting down on something.
After that night she told Tom that she doesn't want to have vaginal sex again because it hurts like heck and they can have sex any other way. Well every time Tom went back where it hurt terribly bad and did what rapists do, hold down don't listen to the word NO and cover their mouth.
Why is it that some guys like Tom keep doing it when the girl says it hurts really bad?
2007-10-28 02:33:55 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Gender Studies
She wasn't scared or experienced any negative emotion, nor did she feel any kind of pleasure you're supposed to have during foreplay and sex.
She was even screaming in pain screaming no but Tom covered her mouth everytime.
2007-10-28 02:34:26 · update #1
she also dresses extremely modest, she never reveals anything.
2007-10-28 02:38:20 · update #2
Why? because they are insensitive and want their orgasm. I also agree that this is rape and needs to be reported.
2007-10-28 02:55:27 · answer #1 · answered by bluestareyed 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
' and did what rapists do' - Exactly. That's rape. When it happened a second time, Tom was telling her by his actions that her wishes and needs have no importance to him whatsoever. That was the time to finish the relationship, now she knows she is not valued. Tom is on a power trip, and it does not look good for the future. Power and control can become much, much worse. I hope she has done the sensible thing - and booted him out of her life. She deserves much better.
2007-10-28 03:38:31 · answer #2 · answered by bluebell 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I also second the opinion that this is rape.
I second the opinion that she needs to get the heck away from him. Sooner better.
I think she needs to end any relationship where something of that behavior is displayed after the first time. Its not a question of talking to the person - she already tried that in the moment.
And theres no sense in asking them to change. She needs to get out of there before shes there long enough for this to give her long term issues with other guys - if, if that hasnt occured already, the sooner shes out the sooner the healing can begin.
It would be a shame for a seemingly nice girl to be lost to hurt pain and anger. Thats not a gift from him that she needs.
Why they do it - there are many ideas, many theories. And none of them matter. The actions and its possible effects for this person does. Suffice to say theres pain and suffering - and theres no need to accept from this person.
The guy could do with therapy or something - something that she needs to be well away from - she will be a fool to think, believe or entertain any thoughts of I can help him, or he needs me to get better.
First event - huge red flag. Tho her strength for refusing to view this or let her self be a victim is good. Just dont stick around long enough till theres nothing left to feel other than victimship adn nothing from sexual activity at all.
2007-10-28 03:22:06 · answer #3 · answered by Andy C 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
In this case why does Tom do that? It could be anything but my guess is he has deep seated issues with women and is seeking "revenge" against women either for something from his past or something that manifests in his mind.
Either way she needs to leave him, seek therapy and as some have already said find a doctor that can correct her physical problem for when she finds a man who cares about her.
2007-10-28 06:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
The reason is because you truly do love these people that you are with but the guys are just regarding you as a play toy or something so they can look good. They have no respect for your feelings. They just want you so they can drape your arm around themselves and kiss you when they please but when you want to do something with them then they are like F*** you and walk away.If they insult you, cheat on you, don't respect you or don't believe you then they don't truly love you and are just regarding you a a fancy toy to play with but throw away when they please, only to come back to a wee while later. I personally think that if that happens than you should dump them because they don't respect you. Hope this helped.
2016-04-10 22:48:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was selfish and uncaring. At best you could say he was just a pig. Or maybe just a complete moron. But really he raped her. This woman needs to get rid of Tom and find someone that actually cares.
2007-10-28 06:34:44 · answer #6 · answered by rohak1212 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
Tom is perverted and insane. He's only about power, dominance, and control. He's one of those nutcase men who refuses to accept a "No" from women. He must be reported to law enforcement pronto!
2007-11-03 04:36:45 · answer #7 · answered by Shafeeqah 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tom is a pig because love making is not suppose to hurt.
When a woman say it hurt he has to take it easy.Tom just wanted your virginity and that's why he did not care.
2007-10-28 02:45:22 · answer #8 · answered by scorpio 1 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Antimisandry has the best response. She does need to get help with the physical issues (yes they can do reconstructive surgery to the vagina). But dump the guy first.
2007-10-28 03:54:16 · answer #9 · answered by professorc 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
That sure does sound like rape - if she doesnt' want to report him, she needs to at the least dump him and get a man who will accept her words (ie 'no').
I'd also suggest she get help for the physical issues.
2007-10-28 02:40:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 10⤊ 0⤋