What do you think of a woman who gives an incorrect age on internet but then tells you when you meet?

Question

A friend of mine met her boyfriend on an online dating site. She is 42 but looks about 32. On her profile she stated that she was 32 and her picture supported this. She met a guy online and they chatted for a couple of months then he wanted to meet her. On their first meeting she told him her age as she wanted to make sure he was ok with it before getting involved with her. He didn't have a problem and they've been together for years. I'm interested in what men think of this? Personally I think it is fair enough as lots of guys dont care about the actual age but the look. If you put over 40, you often get filtered out of many searches. I'm thinking of doing internet dating and am just wondering?

Answer 1

I think lying at the very start of any relationship is a disaster waiting to happen. your friend got very lucky. I think most men would have just walked away. Be honest. There is a reason the 40-somethings get filtered out of peoples personals searches--they don't want to date someone in their 40's! That's their personal choice, and should be respected.

Answer 2

Well, it actually depends on the person I guess.
Personally, I hate it when people lie.
That they have a screen name and protect their details at the very beginning is normal and acceptable.
But, once you started corresponding and the other person is telling you about them in all honesty, I think that you should come clean too.
Otherwise, to me, it's forcing someone in a relationship that they might not have chosen or gone into had they had the proper information.
I can't ever see any good reason to lie.
If someone is divorced, married or has children, I think that this is the type of thing you can't wait to tell someone.
Same thing with the age.
When you lie about those things, then what else can you be lying about? Does the end justify the means??? I rarely ever think so.
It comes back and bites you in the bottom!

Answer 3

Alright, a few things. First, I understand why she felt compelled to use the incorrect age. In today's society so much emphasis is put on female youth that it is harder to attract a man of even your own age when you are in your 40's, especially online. That being said how many people (male and female) lie about that stuff on their profiles? I know when my mom was single she came across a myriad of "athletic" built guys who thought lifting a remote was a sport. Finally, people need to either snuff out all the deceit, or just accept that most online profiles bear at least one falsity. In this specific case she should have come clean about her age far earlier in the "relationship", but each person has their reasons as to why they handle a situation in the manner that they do.

Answer 4

I understand what you are saying, I'm over 40 and I would be honest with the age or just put 40+ I'm going through divorce and a friend sent me dating info on line and the age thing I had a problem with but it's best to be honest I think.

Answer 5

She didn't want to get too involved before she told him the truth, but she talked to him for months before meeting? That is involved, if you ask me.

It's wrong wrong wrong to lie about your age. Especially by that much. You will never have that persons trust, and most people won't stick around after being lied to all that time. Put your real age down. Then if you really like each other, you haven't doomed it from the start.

Answer 6

Gee, whatever could be wrong with basing the whole relationship on a lie?

Are the people who are answering 'no problem' okay with finding out upon meeting that their date -

*weighs about 370
* is married
* was once the other sex

People -- women specifically about age & weight, and men about marital status -- who lie should move them for you into a special "We're just getting going and I have such little respect for you I am *already* lying to you" category.

Otherwise, don't be surprised when *other* lies surface later on.

Answer 7

I think that you should be as honest as you can with your age, if you feel uncomfortable with telling them your real age then being a year off of your real age is ok, and after a few dates, until you feel comfortable with eachother, then you can, if you, want, you can tell him or her your real age.

In this day and age, age really does not matter, and a lot of people really do not mind! I am going to be 40 in December and I do not look like it, I eat right, exercise, and am active with my daughter, and my mom says that I look twenty, or thirty!!!

I think that 40 is the new 30, and 50 is the new 40! :)

Bottom line, age does not matter!!!!!

Answer 8

Could work, but then again you first impression will turn into a lie. You could be talking to someone for a substantial amount of time only to meet the guy for real and have it blow up on you, not to mention wasting all that time on the computer. Honesty is the best policy, start a possible relationship right.

Answer 9

Keep it honest and above the board. People who use the dating sites are usually predators, losers, and lonely people hoping to find a nice person to spend eternity with. It happens so often that these girls are usually fibbing about their weight and their age. I tried it and got a lemon. She said she was younger than she was, hot, and just a little over weight. When I met her, she was about 100 lbs over weight, had a voice lower than Hulk Hogan, smoked like a chimney and lived with her pot smoking brother/surrogate boyfriend. I will caution you now so you won't waste your time.

Answer 10

Could try taking off a few years, if you can justify this when you meet. If a guy was say, 45 and said he was 39 would you mind??? Diffcult one.