My wife left me. She stated that the reason she left me, literally, was I play too much xbox. I found this strange because the xbox has always been what I did when I had absolutely nothing else to do. Based on previous experiences I have gone through with her, I decided to do a little snooping around. I intercepted a voicemail message from another guy that roughly said, "I don't know why rean't replying to my texts. I don't have to work today and I was hoping to come up and spend your lunch break with you. I love you with all of my heart, (her name). I don't want to screw this up." When I confronted her, she originally said, "It was a wrong number." I pointed out that not only did he call her by name, the introduction to her voicemail is our 5 year old son saying, "Leave mommy a message after the beep." Surely, any man calling the wrong number would know it after hearing that. She then told me his name and that he was psycho. She wants to come back to me. Would you trust it?
2007-10-28 01:58:18 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Based on the voicemail, would you think she was cheating even though I have no proof of anything sexual going on?
2007-10-28 02:04:17 · update #1
I played the xbox all of maybe 5 hours a week. I figure, if it is the true reason she left, that she would leave me for any little thing. What are the chances that there are women out there that actually believe their vows when they recite them?
2007-10-28 02:09:55 · update #2
When I was playing the xbox. My 5 year old was always right beside me playing too.
2007-10-28 02:11:39 · update #3
Some people never cease to amaze me. It's almost like you feel people shouldn't have hobbies. Would it have been better to go out to the bars with the guys or play xbox with my son?
2007-10-28 02:45:32 · update #4
Yes I would think this is cheating, and no I would not trust it.
How would you know if she ended it with him, or if she told him that she is unmarried living with a relative or roomate, or divorced and waiting to get her own place? How do you know if she told him that you are the psycho?
If she really had a problem with your x-box playing, she could have trusted you enough to tell you instead of sneaking around and getting a guy to leave a message like that. Another possibility: she could have been trying to make you jealous by making it look like cheating. Like Bob said about the x-box. Maybe she just wanted to see how far she could take it to convince you, whether cheating or pretending to cheat. But if she is saying he is psycho instead of fessing up to wanting to get your attention by making you jealous or trying to get you to see how lonely she really is, then I doubt it. And if you take her back, both of you may need counseling to find out what's really going on and how to resolve it and all other issues before this happens again. If you take her back be prepared for the possibility of her continuing these games with you. She left you over a gamebox, she says, instead of coming to you about it and telling how she feels, and a man is involved somehow? What else is she going to leave you for next time she wants a break instead of staying committed to you and the marriage and dealing with it? What if you burn the toast or something, or decide that you like taking your son to the park instead of the x-box?
2007-10-28 02:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
I'm confused how long ago did she leave you? How long was she actually gone? If it was some time then she probably left you to see if things could work out with the other guy and evidently it hasn't and that's why she wants to come back. Maybe she has finally decided that the grass was not greener on the other side. I think like you do about the call... I don't think it was a wrong # at all. When cheating enters a marriage all trust is lost. I'm not sure if you can forgive and forget. You may be a better person than i was, I couldn't do it. You also have your son to think about. There must have been something in the past to make you "snoop". So I'm just not sure what you need to do, except think things thru and be sure whatever you decide, with a child is involved its time to get down to real life and let him have a good stable environment. As far as the xbox thing, anyone can go overboard with playing, but I think she used that as an excuse.
2007-10-28 09:42:57 · answer #2 · answered by deerlady2000 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Based on what you are saying it seems that she must have walked out and now wants to come back. The two of you have a child which needs to be considered here as well and where the child has been during this time. If the two of you still have feelings for each other and she does want to come back I would suggest that the two of you seek a marriage and family counseling in your area. There are a number of clinics that offer it free or for very little cost. From what you had stated the XBox wasn't the only issue there but some underlying things as well. If you son is with her and she is saying that this guy is some type of psycho he (your son) would be my first concern as a parent and father. If your son is with you, then I would talk with her about seeking some help for the two of you.
2007-10-28 09:24:39 · answer #3 · answered by Ghostwriter1959 4 · 1⤊ 4⤋
Mmm mmm mmm. Where is she residing? She was definitely wrong for establishing that relationship---physical or emotional. The irony of it is that you also recited vows. You might be allowing her back because you have to, not because you want to. Keep a good relationship with your son by doing some activities involving her, and time will bring the two of you closer. You also have to allow her to earn your trust again, so be prepared. If not then still keep things going with your son and let her deal with the mess she got herself involved with.
2007-10-28 09:50:29 · answer #4 · answered by marcavelli0569 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The Xbox was a convenient excuse, she has clearly been playing the field and chose to be with this guy rather than you-but now she thinks she has made a mistake and wants you back.
How you deal with that is up to you but I think your relationship will never be the same.
2007-10-28 13:23:52 · answer #5 · answered by Very happily married. 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Ur only asking is this situation is considered "cheating", and the answer is yes.
I feel for U because once the trust is gone, it's very hard to ever get it back.
Sounds to me she was getting ready to dump him when U found out, but that's another can of worms.
In the event she comes back to U, ditch the Xbox.
2007-10-28 09:18:33 · answer #6 · answered by badkittie2u 2 · 4⤊ 2⤋
if the x box is her best excuse to why she did what she did it's a poor excuse, she is simply using it to justify her own misdeeds. i would never let her come back, because what is going to be her excuse next time she wants to cheat on u? she only wants to come back because all is not as she expected it to be with the new man, and life with u was much better. but why risk getting hurt again, why go through it again and invest again and have the same thing occur, if she didn't love u enough not to cheat, what makes u think it won't happen again.
2007-10-28 10:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
did you intercept the message before or after she left you?
If it was afterwards, then it is not cheating.
If it was beforehand, yes, she has left you for another guy, looking for ways to blame you for it.
People have an odd way, always search for ways to blame their partners for their infidelity. She couldn't find anything else so she chose the xbox.
I have heard a lot of silly excuses and this is a classic example....
It looks like it is time to move on, fight for custody because she is the one who broke/abandoned the family, doesn't deserve to land on her feet, feeding off of you....
2007-10-28 10:34:30 · answer #8 · answered by De-Activated Bad Profile 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i know what you are saying about the last part if you spend 5 hours a week at golf or at the gym she wouldn't have a problem but i think she maybe cheating and using the x box as an excuse to start fights
2007-10-28 12:47:23 · answer #9 · answered by just me 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Sorry mate but if you want to act like a little boy by playing your xbox toy then you had to expect sooner or later she'd want and need a man to love her and give her the attention and effection you were incapable of giving her so make a choice ditch the xbox or lose your wife's box its not rocket science.
2007-10-28 09:36:09 · answer #10 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 2⤊ 4⤋