Is it a myth that men age better physically?

Question

Writer Naomi Wolf in her book "The Beauty Myth":

"Of course men don't age any better physically," says Wolf, "they age better only in terms of social status".

"We misperceive in this way since our eyes are trained to see time as a flaw on women's faces where it is a mark of character on men's. If men's main function were decorative and male adolescence were seen as the peak of male value, a 'distinguished' middle-aged man would look shockingly flawed," she says.

It's been that way for a long time.

Experience is knowledge and that is what we must remember when we look at our own lifestyles, learning from our mistakes and tweaking our options to maximise our short time on this earth.

It's interesting that men are still afforded this luxury but women are widely dismissed on the basis of age and fading physical beauty

Your thoughts?

Answer 1

Certainly in todays society, the manner in which aging is described is more positive for men. Words like dignified, sagely, worldly are thrown about. And in career terms, many men tend to have their highest earnings round their 50s.

Women on the other hand, face the very real and unavoidable onset of menopause which has physiological changes that can have big effects on her appearance as well as her emotional wellbeing, and society is far less complimentary on the whole about such changes, in no small part due to the historical worth of a woman being related to her ability to bear children.

Beauty is culturally determined, one has only to look at artwork over the last 4-5 centuries to see widely differing ideals of both male and female beauty. Some cultures including the Chinese actually revere women as they transition into older age, as do many Asian countries.

All in all, the more of the world one sees and experiences, the more one challenges perceptions of age and beauty, and realises the enormous influence that our upbringing and nationality have on the way we look at things.

To answer you question directly - yes, it is a myth.

Answer 2

Yes I believe social status regarding men and how they are judged by that more whereas women our placed more on the beauty standards. I think that would make a difference. Some women are beautiful as they get older while some men have a big beer gut and bald, etc. But removing the social status aspect. I think maybe the reaso this thought exists is because the difference of men and women. Men's skin is thicker, men have more rugged features than women. Like a good looking man can be pretty, but I guess a man would typically have rugged goodlooks or handsome features. Therefore, perhaps some wrinkles don't shake up the man's looks as much as the woman or perhaps blend in better? Maybe part of it could be the difference there. Men have sharper, more rugged features with the face and the skin thicker, tougher, therefore, wrinkes might not visually have the same impact from the seemingly greater shift from a woman having softer, skin and more delicate features to more rougher looking features with the wrinkles perhaps? Whereas, men already have more rugged features naturally so looking a little rougher blends in better maybe or not as dramatic as the shift from a woman's features.

Answer 3

Well, seems to me that you are contradicting yourself. Just by looking at your question here, I can high light a good many sentences where you say one thing but then opposite further down the paragraph. If your going to find that person you’re looking for you need to sort out these variances about yourself and adopt a truer view of the world. People are all different and you’re not going to find your Mr. Right for two reasons. The first reason is that everyone is different through the experiences they have had. The second is that even if you did find someone you just knew was Mr. Right, the course of your lives together would change both of you along the way. The common lame complaint "He or she isn't the person I knew when we met." So you need to define what a relationship is. In my 15 years of adult life, I've decided that a relationship is a continuing attachment or association between two persons based on love and trust. That’s what you should be looking for. Trust me, you would rather have love and trust over someone you can talk to about whatever your major interests are. I'm sure there isn't anyone out there for me who I'll be able to play piano with, talk about ancient history, or physics, algebra, or medical sciences. But if I could just be with someone who I can trust not to cheat on me, give me diseases, and spend money behind my back. I think I would be happy with someone who would just watch movies with me, go to the museum, maybe canoeing, and occasionally help me with the yard labor. I hope you find what your really looking for. I know I will when I get back looking again. After 3 major relationship mistakes I elected to get my life together without a partner. Now at the age of 35, I got my own house, my Associates degree, and working on my BA. Maybe another problem could be where your looking. Take some college classes and you might be shocked at the types of people you meet there.

Answer 4

A lot of this perception goes back a very long time. An older, well fed man would be seen as an able provider, and would be sought after by women. At the same time a young nubile woman would be seen as breeding material for an heir and would be sought after. And because people of lower social standing often attempt to emulate the elite, this standard was used by everyone. In some ways it's still in effect. I've known several teenaged girls that were into older men, mostly because they had money. And older guys are certainly not going to turn down an attractive young woman when they couldn't get one as a teenager.

Answer 5

I was just at the eye doctor on Friday. I commented on how beautiful I thought my attendant was (and is). She responded by saying how many wrinkles she had in comparison to me. Yes they were visible, and I practically have none. She is 34 (i guessed her age exactly, being a photographer), and I'm 51. She's Indonesian, I'm African American. She has 6 children she has raised. I've raised none. How are we to make an appropriate comparison between the two. Typically the ability of any individual's aging is strongly influenced by their race, secondly by their lifestyle. I am very meditative in my existence. Have practiced stress management for most of my life since childhood. Most do not. I have often been complimented by women that I look like I'm in my late 30's. Except for the receding hairline, I wouldn't feel bad about that. I still FEEL old. Yet I would like nothing more than to be married to someone in her 30's. I don't know what to say about your question. I may not be the norm. But I have to admit, generally, I do look good. But then, I also happen to be a brat! So much for age! Anyone here looking for a 51 yr old brat?

Shingoshi Dao

Answer 6

Yes, I believe so.
It's all to do with our cultural perceptions and unfortunately I have had this perception that older men, with their grey hair, balding, gaining more wrinkles,etc, is just a man who has his inner character and sometimes wisdom displayed on the outside for all to see.
But when I see my own lines starting up and started finding those dreaded grey hairs, was convinced that it was unattractive and had to be hidden at all costs.
It would be great in this culture if the lines on a woman's face, her pregnancy scars and stretch-marks, grey hair and all, could be seen in the same way as men are seen when they age. That they're no less attractive, but they are becoming wise, distinguished and their personality/character is starting to show on the outside.
It is interesting even when many men value women at a certain age with certain physical attributes(wide hips, a certain weight and youth), and it's justified because these women are deemed to be the best at child-bearing, but women who have already proven to be good at childbearing and bear the scars are scorned and deemed as highly unnattractive when it's a natural process of life.

Answer 7

The rate of onset of facial ageing is not gender-specific. Men and women are inherently no less good-looking one from the other and ageing depends on an individual's genes and lifestyle and general state of health. (And of course a lot is in the eye of the beholder.)

But limiting ourselves to women. I knew one young woman who looked like a crone because she had regularly been overdoing the sun bed. Others has aged themselves unnecessarily by using too many 'beauty' products.

Personally I find very young women often insipid looking. One the other hand, some 'mature' women can be incredibly sensual and attractive and facial lining makes little difference, it is character. Take Carol Klein and Gina Lollobrigida as instances.

Answer 8

I'd have to say the myth is real simply because "beauty" is what society or the individual decides. And the majority of society (western society atleast) believes it.

However, I would say there are many absolutely beautiful and radiant older women such as Dixie Carter, Olympia Dukacaus (mispelled), and othes. I think the perception of that beauty is more defined by how they hold themselves, though. The men who I admire have this quality, too.

Answer 9

I believe it to be a myth. We tend to accept a man's aging face as being attractive in a distinguished way.

BUT, I believe that society is changing. Look at Helen Mirren. She's not young, hasn't had plastic surgery (that I know of), and is very beautiful because of her personality. You can see every wrinkle on her face. And she doesn't try to hide it.

However, she is a very sensual woman to watch.

Answer 10

yes, i agree that it is our perception of beauty.

i don't believe beauty is superficial - i think it has an enormous value in society - attracting mates and ensuring the contiuation of civilization.

i think the media plays on women's insecurities about beauty. cosmetic companies tell us we shouldn't have blemishes on our skin, wrinkles, etc. in order to sell their products.

times are changing, and men are also becoming targets of these advertisements. i do like to see men take more of an interest in their looks but i don't like seeing either gender so wrapped up in it.

if i were a photographer, i would choose to photograph the elderly. i love to look at their faces - male and female alike. i actually think they are beautiful.

i wish society would value all ages and stop trying to control it - let it be, value it.