how can I deal with?

Question

Sex Repressions ...?

I live in a country where somethings are totally refused by community ... Sex relationships are Totally forbidden outside the marriage frame , Masturbation is forbidden too -before and after marriage- , and I don't think visiting "Night Clubs" is allowed too ....

U may say , ok Go ahead and marry then , well u see ... I can't for many reasons ... First , cause marriage age is 22-30 here , and since am only 20 then I have to bear for 2 -if not more- years...
second , marriage requirements are really above average , u need about 55 000 US$ -300 000 in our currency- to start ur marriage life , if I am a graduated student , then I will earn about 270$ a month -1500 in ours- u can take half of that for my normal expanses even if I continued to live with my parents, if we simply calculated that -putting in consideration raises and stuff- then after I graduate at the age of 21 I will be able to marry at the age of 27 ,

by my parents help , I can marry the next second I graduate in ... !
but I want to marry by my own money , by my own effort ... and even if they helped me out ... Boys -like me- have an obligatory Army Recruiting that can last for almost 3 years -Duh- ,,,

So , this gives me an average of 4-6 years of repression , how can I deal with that .. ?

and is it really easy .? cause I am feeling like exploding and really really suffering .


p.s. am not alone here in this problem !

@ Gauffsa

but I thought I made myself clear at that , masturbation as well as having girlfriend are both rejected by my society ...

what I wanted to know is how to escape repression and not how to release it in some forbidden relationship ... !

Its not fogging my goals either , I mean ... I am doing well at college and am at my last year graduation , it just irritates me once everywhile , and when that happens , yeah it fogs my entire life ... Hope there was another solution to live with it , and not releasing it ...!

thanks for a well organized answer.. !

Answer 1

Honestly, what you choose to do with your sexual life is your business and the person with which you are doing it (or not) ONLY.

Unless you feel repressed yourself (ie: guilty) or are in danger, partake in masturbation if you feel like it. It's normal, it's healthy, and it can release both stress, pent up sexual frustration, and release endorphins.

As for a taking a sexual partner, that might be a little trickier and riskier. You may be better off just waiting until you can marry, or at least get out of your parents' home. Once you are out on your own, you may meet others who feel just the same as you. I suspect there are many other young people such as yourself who realize this is an old tradition and doesn't necessarily have to be applied anymore. Besides, not too many years ago, the USA supposedly believed the same, and there were pre-marital sexual relations all the time; they were just kept quiet. I wonder if this doesn't happen in your country too.

Sex is definitely a driving force in being human, but at the same time, don't let it cloud your other goals. Do well in your school work, save up your money, do what you need to to marry under the terms you want, and soon enough, you will have the opportunity. Sex does come with responsibility too, and "mistakes" do happen (unwanted pregnancies). If you take your time with sex and let it happen when it's right for you (be it before or after marriage), and take care of yourself in the meantime (masturbate), you may end up better off in the long run.

Good luck with all your future endeavors!