I fear to offend anyone that's why I always try my best to please them. Sometimes it makes me feel good, but sometimes it also make me feel bad and tired. I'm sick of it but i can't avoid it! Though it does help me to gain friends, it had also caused me losing one. what shall i do?
2007-10-26 19:45:21 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
i think that it's one of the innate qualities humans have..but the downside of doing favors for other people is that they seem to get used to it and abuse it..much so that when a situation comes in that you can't seem to do a favor for them, they feel bad..but you shouldn't be..because you do not owe them your service..doing good for other people is not obligatory..you must also learn how to say "no" at times..yourself is your obligation..if you feel that you're being used and it makes you sick and tired, then don't..
losing that friend by the way shouldn't make you feel sad..it should make feel better because at least now, you know that he/she is not a true friend after all..friends should know the strenght of each other..but they don't abuse it..if you said "no" to him/her, he/she must respect that for whatever reason you may have..
don't feel bad ok? cheers..=)
2007-10-30 21:39:39 · answer #1 · answered by kaye_kulet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being an insecure person sure isn't the way though. You surely have some value within that makes you think above the rest so your too good to lower your level to one of respect and love first for yourself and second for your friends who by the way... will love and respect you for who you are if you do yourself the favor of loving and respecting your own space too. You don't need to degrade yourself by feeling they will be offended at your saying what you are as a free and spontaneous person who has needs too. They may ruffle your hair but that is what friends do, and then they cooperate if they are friends.
2007-10-26 19:58:19 · answer #2 · answered by JORGE N 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Every person has the need to help others. It is as ingrained in us as our own conscience. However, sometimes, even the desire to help can be a selfish desire: the need of the gratification that we are helping others.
Never be afraid to say "no." Sometimes, the best thing we can do is to let others serve us so they can recieve the joy or service as well.
2007-10-26 20:00:37 · answer #3 · answered by martinlh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definite, certainly! that's a procedures too lots! Its humorous how he calls while he rather needs you too yet thats not my business enterprise. besides, i think of you need to have a greater thorough communicate with this guy, attempt to describe to him which you do not % to do what he's telling you. Ask him if hes talked to every person else (his kinfolk, different acquaintances etc.) i think of he could deny this yet dig out as lots guidance as you are able to. in the tip, in case you experience like somethings incorrect tell him you would be unable to help him. i comprehend its not elementary to do yet thats existence! i'm fantastically advantageous he can get help someplace else. of course, if it substitute into your maximum suitable buddy, then i could say definite yet with this guy, i could say no. He says he would be unable to stumble on a job he rather likes? nicely tell him to actual hit upon a job, regardless if he likes it or not. he's broke, and the only way he can get funds is getting job before everything! He ought to subject approximately getting a perfect job later. (make certain you point out this in case you communicate over with him!) good success =]
2016-10-02 21:56:50 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has to do with how you got what you needed from people when you were a child. You realized that when you were nice to people, they gave you the reaction that you needed, wether that was love and affection or material goods, it has carried over to your adult life. Are you a middle child?
2007-10-26 19:55:21 · answer #5 · answered by Hans B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you are kind hearted.
Nothing wrong with that.
People are going to try and take that for granted sometimes.
But helping someone is a great thing.
You will be repaid someday.
2007-10-26 19:50:19 · answer #6 · answered by keelonboaz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am told that when you adapt your normal personality for a while its hard for you to change because you know what you were doing before and you continue so you have to start saying no - every time you say no , it gets easier.
or
you're just a very kind person
2007-10-26 19:53:40 · answer #7 · answered by Drag DarkFire 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
being submissive or wanting to please everyone or avoiding to antagonize others reflects a behavior of moving towards other people. You should learn to assert yourself. Learn when to say "yes" and "no" and explain why you cannot give them a favor. Dont think about how other people would judge or view you if you dont give in to their request.Remember that you cannot please everyone.
2007-11-01 01:57:35 · answer #8 · answered by freakzilla816 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I do the same .. i think you can't help it, it is in your nature.
You have to find it in you to say no sometimes . i haven't found it in me yet.
people wont hate you for not doing the things they ask, and if they do they arn't worth your time
xxxx
2007-10-26 22:29:00 · answer #9 · answered by Louise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well depending on the type of favor, you should draw the line somewhere. maybe you are insecure and want people to like you.
2007-10-26 19:48:45 · answer #10 · answered by none 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋