Should every engaged couple go through marriage counseling?

Question

Who are the ones that should go to marriage counseling? Who does not need to go to marriage counseling? Did you go to marriage counseling?

How long did you date prior to marriage?
How long have/were married?
How old were you when you married?

Please try to answer all 6 questions. Please do not answer, "I am not married" because as you can see that would not really satisfy my question. Please write more than 5 sentences. Please respect my wishes. I am doing a research project on love.

Please share a story or someone's story. Please be descriptive since that is what I am looking for. I got the time to listen.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Answer 1

I firmly believe that every single couple getting married should go to counseling.

MY advice to friends and family getting married??

If you are willing to spend countless hours trying to coordinate chair covers and cumberbuns for a wedding that is going to last ONE day, you should be prepared to dedicate at least one hour a week from the time you get engaged to the time you say "I do" in preparation for a MARRIAGE.

EVERYONE can benefit from counseling, it helps people discuss the unspoken expectations such as how a couple will deal with finances, children, division of labor...even sex...things most couples think are implicit only to find out later that they have WIDELY differing views on.

In fact, I would say that couples who think they need it the LEAST probably stand to benefit the MOST as they are the ones who have yet to face or even come close to sampling the disillusionment that the first year of marriage/living together can bring...confronting points of potential conflict before they reach crisis points it CRITICAL in sustaining a happy marriage...

My husband and I went to marriage counseling and it has helped us in ways I can't even describe....our communication is amazing as we use tools of communication that we learned in counseling almost everyday!

As for us we dated 8 years before getting married, we have been married for 2...I was 22 when we got married and he was 24....

Hope this helps, best wishes on your project!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I think regardless of whether people go or not the reality is that when people are engaged they think love will conquer all.

It all depends upon the type of the relationship between the couple such as have they talked about future, kids, how they deal with disagreements. Dating and living together before or after marriage changes a relationship. You really get to see each other in all your glory.

I've not been to marriage counseling. I am open to it should I feel that my husband and I would require it in future. We dated 9 years during which we lived together for 8 years. If we had not lived together prior to marriage, counseling probably would be beneficial. We have been married for 3 years. I was 31 at the time.

Answer 4

I think those who should go to marriage counselors before getting married are people who have trouble communicating. I should have gone to marriage counseling, but we got pregnant and had a child unexpectedly, and decided to get married before he came home from the NICU. I think people who have trouble expressing themselves, or standing up for themselves, should go to marriage counseling. We have been together 4 and a half years and do not fight much, when we do it is not screaming or crying or any of that, it is frustration and then no resolution. The relationship I had right before this one was an abusive relationship, both emotionally and physically, and I told myself I would never fight that way again. I know my husband would never be violent, he is not that person, but I think we should have gone to counseling before committing to life together without the possibility of parole. :)
I don't think there is such a thing as someone who does not need counseling of some kind. No relationship is perfect, and all relationships could be better in some way. Counseling is not admitting that there is something wrong with you, but saying there is a way to make your relationship better.
I was 28 and he was 30 when we married, and we'd been together 4 and a half years, like I said. We have been married two months now.

Answer 5

Yes, I think every engaged couple would benefit greatly from marriage counseling because it would give them a better idea of what to expect from marriage.

I have attended marriage counseling with my husband and it was quite informative. We discovered things about each other that neither knew such as it came out that he did not want more kids as he had 2 by his first wife. We had never discussed it before. Marriage counseling can bring things to light that you might not have considered discussing before marriage.

Lets see, we met in June of 1997 and we were married in July of 1999. This is my second marriage. I met my first husband in late 1975 and married him in 1976 and we dated for about 8 months prior to getting married. We were married 20 years and then I lost him. I met my second husband quite soon after that.

I was married 20 years the first time and I am in my 8th year of marriage now. I am much happier now than with my first husband. I feel more as if this husband is the love of my life, my soul mate.

I was 21 when I married the first time and 44 years old when I married the second time.

Good luck to you

Answer 6

Marriage counseling can help any couple. Obviously, any couple (married or not) that's having problems with their relationship can benefit from counseling.

About the only people who wouldn't need to go to any kind of counseling would be those who are happy and content in their relationship with their partner.

My husband and I went to counseling after our oldest child (now 17) was born. I went from being a woman with a career to a stay at home mom. My husband felt the pressure of having to replace a 2nd income which we had relied upon. Our relationship went south in a big way, rather quickly. Counseling helped us learn how to relate to each other better, and gave us more constructive ways to deal with the changes we were both facing in our lives. Without it, we would've gotten divorced--neither one of us doubts that.

My hubby and I were friends and went out with groups of people for about a year. Once we started dating each other exclusively, we dated for about 3 weeks before we got engaged. We were engaged for about 5 1/2 months. We will celebrate our 20th anniversary in January. I was 21 and he was 26 when we got married (and I wouldn't have done it a minute sooner either!)

Answer 7

Yep, everyone should go - because if given the choice, EVERY engaged couple would say they're infinitely compatible and didn't need counseling. Yep, I went. Ironically, the counselor actually did find that we were infinitely compatible and cut the sessions short.

We dated about 2 1/2 years - we've been married for 5. Ceremony at age 20.

Answer 8

Yes i think everyone should go through marriage counseling except if your an older couple that's been married before then i think there isn't anything a marriage counselor can tell them or teach them that they don't already know. My husband and i did not go through marriage counseling.

We dated 20 months before we married and we have been married for 28 1/2 years. I was 27 and he was 21.

Answer 9

One of the most common questions spouses ask when confronting a marriage crisis is this: How can I save my marriage if my partner doesn't want to help find a solution? How do I succeed I am trying to save my marriage on my own? Learn here https://tr.im/WkpbC

It is a typical enough story: one partner leaves, the other stays. One remains 'in love', the other is uncertain. Whatever it is that has caused a couple to be apart, the one person who remains bears the prospect, fear, doubt, desire, hope of saving his or her marriage' alone.

Answer 10

Couples should date a long, long time. When you first meet some one you are only meeting their Representative. Ask a lot of questions. Find out their values, their interests and their plans for the future, tell them yours. Observe them in social settings to see how they treat other people. Ask their family and friends about them. If you want children, find out if they do also. Find out their education level and what their career goals are. What are their politics, their spiritual beliefs. Find out as much as you can, you don't want surprises after you wed them. Marriage is for life, so the decision to wed is very, very important. Don't just go with your emotions, use your intelligence in selecting a life long mate. Don't take your wedding vows lightly, make sure you know what you are vowing and be willing to honor them.