My husband of 6 years won't stop breaking my heart... Time and time again we've gone back and forth on every issue possiable from adultery to verbal abuse, and he still refuses to get himself together- He just dosent make his family #1 priority. So I had him leave. He's been gone for two days now and truthfullly I'm lost, I try to keep myself busy with our children and other responsibilities but its so hard, I loved him he was my sunshine and now nothing feels "right" I know I did the right thing because my physical and emotional health was at risk. But I guess what I really miss is that male companiionship, I don't miss waithing up til 3 or 4 in the morning, having him call me names for little or nothing etc.... And he wasn't much but he was all I had, I don't have any other family besides him and our children and I'd just like to fill the hole he left behinde, I've been praying non-stop and that helps but I still would like ideas on how to occupy my time and completely move on...
2007-10-26 18:23:10 · 9 answers · asked by Chava 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Go out w/ some friends...have a girls night! U have to do this for ur sake and the sake of ur children, be strong and fight it, it only hurts for so long and it will get better! Its hard I know but u gotta try... Start at the gym to get urself outta the house and build ur self esteem back up... Theres plenty to do u just have to make urself do it...PLZ don't give up!
2007-10-26 18:31:44 · answer #1 · answered by NONAME 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, it's only been 2 days, you've been married for 6 years, and probably together with him for longer than that. It's going to take you a little longer than 2 days to get over this. Allow yourself to mourn here, it's an important part of the grieving process.
If I would give you one bit of advice, it would be to not try and fill the hole he's left with another man--try to fill it yourself. Volunteering for groups is a great way to fill some extra spare time, and helps you feel better about life as well. It always amazes me how finding and helping those who are worse off than I am really helps put my problems into perspective, and makes me realize just how blessed I really am. You can also educate yourself better. Not just schooling--but learn a new skill or hobby. Take some classes in something that interests you. Have you been facinated by photography--then take it up! Also, prepare yourself to re-enter the work force if you've been a stay at home parent.
Spend time with your children as well--their world has been upended, and while it will ultimately be a good thing for all of you (from what you've said), it's still a change they have to deal with. Family counseling or individual counseling may be in order to help all of you guys get through this change in your life. Best of luck to you all!
2007-10-27 02:05:07 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find someone to talk to: a close friend, priest, even if you have to go see a specialist it will help fill the void. You can get more involved with the community and with your children. If they are in school join the PTA. If you really want this man back in your life have him go with you to counseling. If its a marriage worth saving go for it. If not move on and keep your kids close and things will fall into place. A little or a lot of prayer does work.
2007-10-27 01:35:51 · answer #3 · answered by elizadoolittle4646 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See my friend I can feel what is going in your heart. Always remember your lover is your life. When the life goes away and you are alive it means as if your life is not there but still you are alive. I feel that you dont have any way out from this emotional barrier. If you trust God then remember God is there who is seeing you all the time and when it will be possible you will get your happiness if you deserve the happiness. I feel that you are very sad and depressed. i just cannot help you except to care for you as much i can. Take care of yourself. You know my friend sometimes life plays such a game with us that we loses the desire to stay alive but still we have to stay alive with the deep pain in the heart. Life is more then death in this moments.
2007-10-27 06:05:42 · answer #4 · answered by Raj Chan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That really sux that he is treating you this way but you don't deserve to be treated this way at all no matter what. There is someone else out there or maybe you're better off on your own. If I were in your shoes, I would file for divorce and have him pay child support you and your children. Take him for court for that if you have to.
If he comes back and you want to work things out, you should both go to couples counselling.
I'm sure you'll be fine you sound like you have a good head on your shoulders, just remember to take care of yourself.
2007-10-27 01:31:55 · answer #5 · answered by sugar_baby_sweetness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to build your own self esteem for a start. You can't start healing yourself until you forgive yourself for failing at marriage and realize that both of you failed. You deserve to be loved and respected and that will come in time. Now is the time to get back your self esteem and put your children first. Spend time with them and make sure they don't suffer more than they have to from this separation.
Good Luck
2007-10-27 01:30:54 · answer #6 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I fell in love with an adorable and wonderful man. Seriously...he was great....as a Dr., a friend, a father,......but not as a husband for me. All lost loves don't HAVE to be tragic. It's just tragic when they can't be what we want or we can't be what they want. He wasn't wrong or bad and neither was I. We just didn't fit for the long term duration. It's wrong when we try to make them something they are not....or when they try and make us something we are not. You can love someone with all your heart and soul and not be able to be married to them. Love is unconditional....relationships are not.
2007-10-27 01:38:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He wasn't your sunshine. He wasn't your everything. You just made him that in your mind. You projected onto him what you wanted to see, and that's not what he was. He is what he IS. Can you see him?
Think about it really hard. The difference between losing a true love and losing a fantasy is hard to tell.
2007-10-27 01:40:22 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get councling
2007-10-27 01:32:28 · answer #9 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋