So, I was molested when I was younger and I can't seem to forgive myself even though it wasn't my fault. Please answer if you can
2007-10-26 17:50:33 · 7 answers · asked by Blah Blah Blah 3 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
First, you have to figure out what you feel you need forgiving for. What do you feel that you have done that needs to be forgiven? Do you somehow feel you should have or could have done something differently to avoid being molested? You have to dig deep for this answer, and then forgive yourself. Even better, once you truly find the answer, you will soon realize you have nothing to forgive. You need to get to a place where you truly know, through and through, that it wasn't your fault.
2007-10-26 18:57:05 · answer #1 · answered by RainbowSeer 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this wrong, but it has nothing to do with forgiving yourself. It has to do with realizing and accepting that you did nothing wrong in the first place. Once you have (with help) gotten over the fact that you do not need forgiveness, then you can also deal with what really happened better. Yes, you can work on both at the same time, but once one is "out of the way" it is easier to work on the other. I realize that I cannot say "Get over it" even intended in a nice way, nor do I intend to, because it doesn't work that way. Some people take longer to heal than others, and some heal differently than others. Your timing and your healing are what matters. Find people, real people (not just us here on Y!A) that you trust to talk to. Counselors, pastors, YMCA, YWCA, whatever. Good luck and God bless.
2007-10-26 18:04:21 · answer #2 · answered by herfinator 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That happened in our family.
There may be many issues happening inside your head and none of them are simple and as easy as "just forgiving yourself."
There may be the feeling of shame and the guilt of feeling that you somehow "let" this happen.
You may need to go and get counseling from a qualified counselor.
A good counselor will help you identify and cope with each feeling and issue that is locked up inside you.
SOme good places to look for help: Check and see if there is a Rape Crisis Center in your city. They frequently offer help even to people who were molested years ago. The help is also usually at low or no cost.
Email me if you'd like.
2007-10-26 18:06:17 · answer #3 · answered by scruffycat 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
it comes down to acceptance; realize that you had nothing to do with your being molested [which is terrible & im sorry you had to deal with that]. make a list of reasons why you blame yourself for that unfortunate series of events and try and figure out what caused you to start feeling that way. good luck.
2007-10-26 17:58:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
My computer is very slow at start up like 20 minutes to start.
ive ran checkdisk, defragmented the hard drive, deleted all temporary files, unwanted programs, cookies, etc. I dont know what else to do, should i back up my hard drive and then format it, reinstall windows, THANX IN ADVACE.
2007-10-26 18:14:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anatoliy S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, i'm so sorry to hear this, but in this case, you must know the reasons for blaming yourself. this incident has already happened and cannot be reversed. you must learn to accept the facts.
Then again(i am not blaming u or anything), you must be sure not to wear anything revealing or anything which attracts---you know? it is important tat you minimise the possiblities of this incident happening, in your case, again.
sorry, i am not sure if this helps you but, please don't blame yourself. God Bless :)
2007-10-26 18:12:48 · answer #6 · answered by DaDancer:D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It wasn't your fault ,but just try your best to forget about what had happened,I know it is hard but please try your best.Don't let it bother you and get on with your life.
2007-10-26 18:05:10 · answer #7 · answered by dicovi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋