Hi, I am very distraught over a person I really care about.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 1/2 yrs. I am 45 and he is 49. He has diabetes and he drinks a lot. He drinks bottles of wine at a time. He holds down a job well because he works from home. He mostly drinks in the evening late at night.
I know I can't really do anything to help him to quit. Now he is smoking pot too. He has major mood swings. One week, he loves me, next he does not. He can never make up his mind. We have broken up and gotten back together a bunch of times. I thought I would try one last time. I moved in with him for the 2nd time in August, he already is saying he is wanting me out, but then he still acts like he is not sure sometimes.
Bad thing is i lost my job, job hunting..but no luck and now he is worse with his drinking. He says a lot of verbal mean things when he drinks, I am having more trouble forgiving him, says he don't remember some of it..I have no where to go, what do I do?
2007-10-26 17:38:36 · 10 answers · asked by Emma 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You are being victimized and should start attending Alanon for families of alcoholics. You are right you cannot change his ways, but he does sound like a very depressed man.
There are women's shelters everywhere. Go there before he hurts or kills you. They will help you locate employment and eventually housing. They will also provide counseling in why you allowed yourself to remain in such a negative relationship.
Open the door, walk or drive to the shelter, and don't look back.
2007-10-26 17:48:24 · answer #1 · answered by banananose_89117 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Don't stay with him, you can find another place to live. Start faxing those resumes and get you butt in gear and stop making excuses. Even if it's a job that you don't want, just make some money and get an efficiency for right now. You aren't happy with him and you know you can't change him. Your better off alone that dealing with someone who drinks every night. He's got a world of problems and issues if he's drinking to escape every night. You need to get out and get out fast and move on.
2007-10-26 17:45:04 · answer #2 · answered by sun day 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is there ever a point where you can sit down and have a serious talk with him, and tell him that you want to help him?
If there is not, no way, no how, then you have to find your way out. You can post ads online to share an apartment with another woman, possibly in a similar situation, while you get back on your feet with a new job. As another poster said, shelters can give advice on this, but you are already online and sound like a smart cookie. You can do this on your own! :)
To help yourself focus and heal, you can make a blog site (for free, like on blogspot.com) and post updates on your progress... please let us know what happens.
2007-10-26 17:57:57 · answer #3 · answered by redtape 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why would you want to be treated like that? You don't deserve that. He sounds like a loser, and who wants to wake up wondering if their partner will love them today or not. Drinking, pot, mood swings, mean.... no way! There must be somewhere you can go temporarily? You need to get on your own feet, and not rely on his support. You should find someone who is stable, loving, and caring... and you will wonder why you ever put up with him. Good luck to you.
2007-10-26 18:38:51 · answer #4 · answered by Shelber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many people would say stay away from him however you must consider twice before you give up since alcoholism is an illness rather than a fashion how would you feel if he gave up on you just because you have cancer?. Be honest dont ask for love in the future if you are not capable of giving love.
2007-10-26 18:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by alfredp333 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sounds like a binge drinker, or a social alcoholic. He desires some type of help. My husband change into like this. We had many many many many fights over this. I stuck with him and made him see how a lot his ingesting affected both one persons. I advised him that i'd not strengthen a relations with someone like this and that it change into his decision, yet he had to make this decision for himself and in no way for me. If he had made it in accordance with me, then i ought to listen it perpetually. He said what it change into doing to him bodily and to "us" mentally and emotionally. He stop ingesting and now we are married and characteristic a pleasing infant woman.
2016-10-23 01:34:11 · answer #6 · answered by koroly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You notice what it is doing to him. Start noticing more what it is doing to you. It's time for tough love. You are one of his enablers. It may be easy for me to say...but the truth is that it is best that you move on.
2007-10-26 17:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by smooth 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they have women's shelter's you can go to until you find work contact the salvation army for starter's they will steer you in the right direction go now before he get's violent.
2007-10-26 17:50:11 · answer #8 · answered by crengle60 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd get away from him before you sink
2007-10-26 18:06:32 · answer #9 · answered by Bobby L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
short and sweet answer..... leave and leave now..... re-read your post and leave now! honestly why would you want to stay??
2007-10-26 17:44:51 · answer #10 · answered by ashar/97 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋