please help i feel so confused. My situation is i started talking to a friend of my ex-husband. My ex found out and he is saying to me a lot of bad things of this guy. I do need to let you know although he is my ex we stayed being good friends and honestly i believe everything he tells me so i dont think its because he is jealous of any kind, but the sad part is i just dont see or believe what he saying about his friend, how he treats me and the small things we have shared so far does not match with anything my ex is saying about him. I do have my doubt and feel confuse, i am really falling for this guy but i am afraid if its true to fall for this person knowing i was told before. I did tell him all the things my ex said about him and he denied every one of them. please give some good advice.
2007-10-26 16:22:16 · 14 answers · asked by karen c 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First, don't kid yourself that you ex is not jealous even if you did part as friends. Especially if he has not found someone to take your place. He does not want you to get a successful relationship going before he does. He might even harbor a secret desire thinking that in time the two of you would be together again.
As for his friend, he may be telling you tales to get you away from him for many reasons. They could be true and he wants to protect you. This may be a good friend of his and he wants to keep his friend and he knows that likely he will lose the friend if the two of you get together because it could become awkward. So he would be protecting his friendship.
Another thing, he could be telling you the truth. If this person is as bad as your ex says it is unlikely that if you ask him about it he would tell you the truth.
What you need is a third party's opinion if you can't trust your own judgement. Maybe someone who is friends with both your ex and your new love that could give you the truth about the situation.
If it was me, I would trust my own instincts and judgement and go with my heart. Let your relationship develope slowly and not rush into marriage. Chances are you have chosen wisely and things will be fine and if not, as long as you don't rush down the aisle in a church, you have time to salvage your mistake.
Good Luck
2007-10-26 16:30:58 · answer #1 · answered by mn lady 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Its not even about wether or not you and your ex husband stayed friend's its the matter of how would you feel if your ex husband inflitrated your girl group of friends and started dating 1 of them?
You never date within the circle , there shouldnt even be a circle , so NO it's not right to date a friend of your ex's and as to wether you believe him or not , your ex is your ex he doesnt want you but doesnt want his mate's having you either are you really that naive ? did your ex husband have an emotional hold over you which lead him to become your ex husband in the 1st place? did he act like he owned you?
Get away from his circle of mate's show some respect for boundaries and if your truely looking to date again go elsewhere to find a new love instead of thinking you can stay in the sanctuary of the friendship group because you and the new man will be ostrasized out of the group.
Show some maturity and the ability to stand on your own 2 feet.
2007-10-26 17:09:49 · answer #2 · answered by JadeyOz 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're certain that you and your ex are just friends and there is no jealousy, consider that he's probably looking out for you. I don't know what kinds of things your ex said about this guy, but wonder for a second if he is the kind of person your ex says he is, would he not deny it? Then again, you are a big girl and you can judge character by yourself. You can tell your ex that while you appreciate the gesture, that you've made the decision to be with this friend and that in the future he should keep his opinions to himself.
2007-10-26 16:30:33 · answer #3 · answered by some female 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to judge this man on what the two of you have together. When a man finds something in a woman that is good for him it can change his world and maybe he found something special in you that makes him see his world differently from his past? Time will tell so take it slow and you will know and feel what is in his heart for you. Take this time to get to know him and what his feelings and morals are and let him know what you expect out of a relationship and find out what he expects out of one to. People are different with other people and you may just be the one that makes a difference in his life. It may be that your ex is a little jealous of his friend caring for you and I would not let him interfere in your judgement of him.
2007-10-26 16:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since X's words don't match Y's actions then he's jealous. You need to treat your ex like an X and never talk to him about anyone especially who you're interested in. Listen to your heart, hope you find love.
If you really wanna get the truth then get both of them together and let them duke it out lol. .
2007-10-26 16:44:20 · answer #5 · answered by Octoro 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is your EX then he has no right making your decisions regarding whom you see for you. Your ex is simply jealous of both you and his friend, doesn't like you dating an friend and doesn't like the friend dating you. That is your Ex's problem not your's.
2007-10-26 16:44:55 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I see nothing wrong with it. Everyone has these unwritten rules about dating friends of an ex or even liking them but if someone is meant for you, it shouldn't matter who they are friends with. Just rock and roll.
2007-10-26 16:36:24 · answer #7 · answered by ALL-MAN 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How would you feel if ur ex dated ur friend...
think about that first
2007-10-26 16:31:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Trust your ex on this one. dating ex friend would be bad
2007-10-26 16:29:19 · answer #9 · answered by s f 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
a friend knows another friend run you ex is trying to warn you nothing good is comming from this he will show his trueness when he has you hook line and sink you are bait
2007-10-26 16:37:30 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋