I was married 11 years. I met up with an old highschool boyfriend at my 10 year reunion and we started talking and found out we were both still thinking of each other. I stayed married for a year but then we started talking on the phone and I couldn't stay away. When my husband found out I had been talking to another man we ended up in a divorce. All through the process we remained friends. I even stayed in the house with him and my two children for two months. We were a very close family with a lot of traditions that I really miss now. My son always wants to be with his dad and my daughter is a mess going back and forth. We were great but it was mostly friends. My new guy and I both have two children but we have lead very different lives. Our relation is awesome but I hate missing out on my childrens lives. I finally feel like I have the love I have always wanted but is it enough. When do you know when to move on or to turn and run back?
2007-10-26 15:52:12 · 14 answers · asked by ekceb08 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
afte 11 yrs you got used to a routine, a way of life. and now you are looking at an un known future ahead,,
you said " i finally feel like i have the love i have always wanted" well? soundsl like you found it,,
cant cry ove spilt milk now.. time to move on.. start ;your new life...
2007-10-26 15:58:30 · answer #1 · answered by hello kitty 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
You are the one who has to make that choice and all we can do is to suggest things to consider.
what was the old boyfriend doing the whole time you were married? If he is still married as well perhaps, and did he leave his wife for some reason or did she throw him out, perhaps for hitting on other women? Is this really a possible relationship or just recapturing a period in your life when you were much younger and he your first love, and why did you break up then?
you had love when you first were married so perhaps the only attraction you feel now is for the things you and your husband let slip away and you seem to see them in this old boyfriend but if you try counseling with the husband before any divorce is final perhaps you can recapture that with him and have your married life, your life with your children, and a new sense of happiness. the relationship with the new - old boy friend - guy may be awesome now but will it stay that way?
the boy friend I am sure is trying to be the best that he can be if he wants to get involved with you but you need to be very careful until you know what he has been doing for those years you were married and what he is like now. If you check handwriting wizard you may be able to get a better idea as well about him. does he tie a know in the top of his letter O? a sign that he is secretive. Is his handwriting straight up and down, a sign possibly of lack of emotion where as the further his handwriting slants to the right, the more emotional he is.
My personal opinion is that there is a flaw in a man who would try to promote a relationship with a married woman, old flame or not, and a person who would never take a commitment he might make to a woman very seriously - remember that he is divorced for a reason of some nature - so that he may well turn out to cheat on you as he is trying to get you to do to your husband, so I would try counseling first with your husband to see if you can regather the love you once had rather than simply trying to get the same love with another man or yu may be burning your bridges before you really understand what is on the other side. I will include a link to handwriting wizard and you can look that over, but as I said, the ultimate decision is yours and I hope for your sake that it is the right one, whatever you decide.
2007-10-26 16:22:20 · answer #2 · answered by Al B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you and your husband were more friends than lovers then I woun't go back. I know what you mean by you finally found that love that you wanted. and if you cant get that with your husband than you two should not be together for the sake of the children, HOWERVER, you are a mother first, then an ex wife and girlfriend. You should not miss out on any part of your childreens lives becaue of a new man. First and foremost you need to focus on your children until they are grown or until you find someone with whom you can balance your life. Your kids need you now more than ever so be there for them. As far as still loveing your husband, you two share two childreen and 11 yrs of memories, those wont just go away, so good luck and always put your children first.
2007-10-26 16:00:31 · answer #3 · answered by jm 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You are a sleazy dirty woman. Your husband deserves a better wife and your kids deserve a better mother. What did your husband do to deserve you treating him like a disposable item? You make a commitment when you take wedding vows. You have shown your true colors by just running off with the next best thing that comes along. If I were him I wouldn't even take you back. Enjoy your pathetic life.
2007-10-26 16:03:28 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Semantics with justification! I won't have anything to do with anyone that says .....I "love" but am not " in love"..........That is BS. What people who talk like that are doing is leaving themselves a fast way out, a way to be quickly uncommitted, if need be. I don't trust anyone that talks out of both sides of their mouth. Most females do that , learing it from the script writers for the soaps.
Do your ex a favor and leave him alone . You went for greener pastures and was lucky, not so your daughter. I feel sorry for her, torn between her emotions for both of you
2007-10-26 16:16:02 · answer #5 · answered by reinformer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no man is more important then my children and never will be. you broke up a family to make yourself happy. you thought of yourself first. your children do now and always will come first,or they should. how do you know that your husband (ex) would take you back. and could you honestly love him ? would that be fair to him. let your son stay with his dad and if your girl wants to let her also. you already messed with their heads and their hearts.
2007-10-26 16:00:39 · answer #6 · answered by marilynfsmgm 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Talk to your ex-husband about reuniting with him so your children have their parents (who are friendly with each other) in the same home. Then when they are eighteen you can leave your husband after you find out your new boyfriend is married to the "love" of his life.
2007-10-26 15:58:32 · answer #7 · answered by Thinkaboutit 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You don't deserve your ex, you don't deserve the guy you're with now. Why don't you be single for awhile until you can grow up? Your selfishness has ruined your family and your children will NEVER be the same.
Hope it was worth it.
2007-10-26 16:02:06 · answer #8 · answered by Leah 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
the best thing to do is
1. get away by yourself and think really hard about what you want, you can't have both so make a choice.
2.remember that you took you children away from a structured enviroment and thrush them into this. they are scared and confused,you need to talk with them and make them understand.
good luck
2007-10-26 16:01:44 · answer #9 · answered by milton b 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi! you cannot love two people at once, you need to find yourself.......you cannot move on with your life this way, instead you are hurting everyone around you including yourself......the only way to break your confusion is to ask Jesus to forgive you of your sins, then invite Him to come into your heart, He loves you and wants to lead your life, only God can fullfil your heart.......God bless you
2007-10-26 16:03:56 · answer #10 · answered by Bert 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋