OK...i had sex with my girlfriend with out a condom, and she is pregnant, and i dont want the baby......she says ta ht its OUR baby and i told her that i dont want it if its MINE too....the baby is only 2 weeks old and she wants to take me to the court....she told me that she want to keep the baby away from me for ever and she wants to make me to pay for the baby for the rest of my life...BUT...i have a recording of her that she says ": i want to break up with u on perpus so i can take you to the court", i also know that its okay to have an abortaion before 3 month, i would like to know all about the things she can do to me, and what i can do to stop her and get rid of the baby...please DO NOT even bother to write about "me paying for the baby or be a man or stuff like that"..thanks for helping me SO much..
2007-10-26 15:37:28 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
Sorry, but the news is not good for you. If you get a girl pregnant, it is completely her decision whether she has the baby or not.
If she decides to give it up for adoption, you have a right to say that you want the baby, but if she decides to keep the baby you cannot make her give it away.
If she keeps the baby, you are required to help support it. The baby's right to be supported is separate from any right you have to see the baby.
It doesn't matter much what the girl has told you. The baby has rights now and that is what the court will protect.
Ask for a paternity test. If you are not the dad, you are off the hook. Otherwise, you have just started to learn the lessons of not practicing safe sex.
2007-10-26 15:50:32 · answer #1 · answered by raichasays 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Listen...you cannot get rid of the baby. You made the choice to conceive. Birth control does exist in case you didn't know. What you can do is make the best of it. Why wouldn't you want a relationship with this child? If you're even slightly worthy, this child will love you with all he/she has unconditionally. It's a beautiful thing. You say the baby is 2 weeks old, then you talk about abortion...what is it that you're asking and how old are you? I don't mean any disrespect, but you don't sound like you have any idea of what you're facing. Bottom line - if she has (or had) the baby and is a respectable girl...she's got every right and you're on the line for the next 18-26 yrs. Your best bet would be to make right on the whole situation...this baby could be a blessing in disguise...
2007-10-26 23:06:53 · answer #2 · answered by jaiday427 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...
I guess the legalities of if would depend upon what state you live in.
In Michigan, where I live, if a DNA test proves that a man is the father of a child there's not much he can do about it -- even if he doesn't want it. The state will force him to pay child support until that child is 18 or graduates from high school, which ever happens last. I would say that no matter what state you live in your girlfriend has every right to take you to court to try to enforce the child support issue. Unfortunately, I do not believe there is ANYTHING you can do to make her get rid of this baby. That is pretty much up to the mother. If she insists on keeping it then I believe you are on the hook for child support at the very least, and probably insurance for the child, too. Your best bet is to hire an attorney, though, to give you specific answers to your questions based on the state in which you live.
2007-10-26 22:56:03 · answer #3 · answered by Vicky L 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well... you could hire an attorney ..fight it out in court and by the time the child is 2 years old the case will actually see a court room. See the problem. You can't force her to do anything. (You would probably lose anyway).
However, if she has the baby - she can prove paternity and take you to court for child support. It does not matter if you are still dating her , married to her or just had a meaningless one night stand. Your DNA makes up 1/2 of that baby so you are responsible to assist in it's care - I.E. pay for it.
Yes...you can join the roster of loser deadbeat dads who are more than willing to have sex but then say it's :your problem" when she gets pregnant and of course there are consequences for that too.
(aside from the fact that it's going to be a huge turn off to women you meet in the future.....us single gals just love it when a man says "hey I knocked a girl up and denied all responsibility and have nothing to do with this child and am a complete dead beat."... Yep.... that's a turn on all right - I can see your future girl friend bragging to all her friends... oh, your man's going to med school. That's great... mines a deadbeat! Yep... just want every girl dreams of... her very own deadbeat.)
Now - if you pay child support and don't do drugs (or anything that could be used to say you are a bad parent or risk to the child) you can take her to court to get visitation. No - she can not legally take your money and have you never see the baby again. If you financially support the child - you have rights.
It sounds like you are pretty young - possibly a minor - I'd start by talking to my parents (if I were you). Then you and your folks need to have a conversation with her and her folks.
I know you don't want to hear it but.....sex is an adult activity. If you are adult enough to have sex then you are adult enough to handle the consequences of it. It's time to be a man.
Welcome to the adult world. Please fasten your seat belt -it's going to be a bumpy ride.
2007-10-26 22:53:44 · answer #4 · answered by Boots 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm unclear about your question........is she 2 weeks pregnant or has she had the baby and it's 2 weeks old? You are right about being able to have an abortion before 3 months. The only way you will probably be able to not be ordered to pay child support by a court is if you have a DNA test done, and find out it's not your baby. An attorney could advise you better about the recording you have, and you might be able to get a judge to not make you pay child support since she is so anxious to take you to court, etc. Most attorneys will do a free 30 minute consult. Good luck.
2007-10-26 22:45:15 · answer #5 · answered by Coastie Wife 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sorry bud, the problem just doesn't go away like that. You can't get rid of a baby and not your choice to abort. If you don't want to be in the baby's life, you don't have to be. If she wants to have the baby, then that's her perrogative. As far as being responsible, that you will have to be or will just have to suffer the consequences. It took 2 to tangle. I know you don't want to hear it, but that is the way it is. It's possible that she can end up on welfare and supports her and the baby, however, welfare can come after you for payment too. We have to pay for mistakes in our life whether we want to or not. It's like if you got into a car accident with someone. If you were at fault, you would have to pay. The other person suffers hardship too. Your girlfriend will have to raise the baby if she keeps it. That's the hard part. Paying for it will actually be the easy part. It's your choice whether you want to see her or the baby again. That's life , bud! Don't worry, you will only have to pay for 18 years!
2007-10-26 22:55:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a freakin shmuck you are. You had sexual intercourse. There is a risk involved that is called pregnancy. You knew that and were willing to take the risk anyway.
Your butt is owned now for the next 18 years!
By the way. Dead beat dads get to have several things happen to them.
1. You don't get to renew your drivers' license.
2. You don't get to hold a contractors' license.
3. The Franchise Tax Board will garnish your wages AND intercept your state and federal tax returns.
4. You will be reported to the credit reporting agencies.
5. You could end up with a warrant for your arrest.
6. Everytime you open up a bank account it will be red-flagged and whatever money you have in your account will be taken.
Okay, so this information does not bother you. You have no concern for your financial future. You don't care if they throw you in jail, because for sure you won't be paying that girl support. But is this the life you are willing to settle for in order to avoid the legal and moral obligation to support your child until he is an adult?
It'd be easier if you chilled out, realized that being a man means more than just getting your rocks off. Being a man means being responsible for your actions. Whether you like it or not. It means stepping up to the plate and doing what is right. It means being a parent to your child. YOUR CHILD.
Abortion is not a form of birth control. You should get that out of your head. You don't have to live with yourself the rest of your life in shame and depression knowing that you aborted your child. Women suffer from this........for the rest of their life.
I hope that this gives you some food for thought. Because now it's time to rise to the occasion and make yourself proud and your parents too.
I hope you do the right thing. I really hope you do.
M.B.
2007-10-26 22:50:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Oh geez, this is a very messed up situation you are in. Its too bad but she does have the ultimate say in whethere if she keeps it or not. If she does, it is certain that its going to be a very rough 18 years (minimum) ahead for you. Financially, you know what she could do (child support assigned by the court) but, I mean, other than that, I can't think of anything else she could do to you. About you having the recording about her, I doubt you will be able to use it against her in the court (unless she knew you were recording the entire time, you cannot use it against her); not in California anyways. Best of luck to you and I hope you both decide on what to do. Unless she is willing to discuss the pros and cons of the situation with you for a joined decision, the decision is hers and only hers right now because it is her body.
Good Luck.
2007-10-26 22:47:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off my dear... you ARE responsible for this baby---but I would ask for a paternity test BEFORE she takes you to court for child support---which she has EVERY LEGAL RIGHT TO DO and you have NO LEGAL RIGHT to force her to get an abortion IF SHE DOESN'T WANT TO... it's HER body not yours....and you have NO say what she does with her body---even if you don't WANT a baby.... you SHOULD NEVER have had sex without PROTECTION... that was YOUR FAULT... and the consequences will be here in less then 9 months. Sorry but if you are going to PLAY, you have to PAY.... and it's only for the next 18-21 years.... it's not like it will be FOREVER... next time----WEAR A CONDOM!!! and learn how to be a man because you are now going to be someone's FATHER whether you like it or NOT.... oh and that RECORDING you have--------Won't help you at all because YOU were the one that HAD THE UNPROTECTED SEX AND CREATED A BABY REGARDLESS OF HOW SHE GOT PREGGERS--as long as it was YOUR FOOLISH MISTAKE that got her that way----YOU WILL PAY...
2007-10-26 22:46:45 · answer #9 · answered by LittleBarb 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There is nothing you can do from a legal standpoint. The courts will be in her favor. No one can force another person to have an abortion - it would raise too many ethical issues. Even the recording you have won't help at all except to establish in the the eyes of the court that your relationship is over. Sorry, but you'll just have to wait and see what happens.
2007-10-26 22:42:13 · answer #10 · answered by RLW 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋