In the past year now sex between my wife and I has gone downhill.She will lay there and tell me she wants some loving,but refuses to return any affection.After watching on of the tv talkshows about men she has decided that men require no stimulation and she's not going to waste her time trying to please me,since that first time she's gained 100 lb's,which IS A MAJOR TURNOFF for me.our marrage of 15 years is getting closer to an end,and she refuses to go to counceling as it's my problem that I must get over.Any advice out there???
2007-10-26 14:27:36 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We've talked and talked,as long as she has her "Gender-istic Marrage counclors "on tv to watch then I don't stand a chance.
No children involved,I'm shooting blanks so to say.
2007-10-26 14:51:05 · update #1
And the weight gain excuse?
I'm 40 now,and it's ok for me to let myself go,at 5'9 and 150lb's looks sexy on a woman,but not 250lb's( this is my opinion,I do have over weight friends,but I'm not sexualy aroused with over weight women.)I just kinda figured that if I at 6' and 220 with a waist of 32 inches still can maintain my weight then it's no problem for her.
2007-10-26 14:57:37 · update #2
first get counseling for yourself if she won't go. communicate your hurt to her, tell her that if things don't get better that maybe u two should part ways. but give her that chance to make a change before u seek divorce.
2007-10-26 14:35:19 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, why don't you talk to your wife and tell her that you do need stimulation and that you do enjoy foreplay and having your favours returned? Of course, if she's gained 100 lbs, she probably doesn't have the energy to have a good sex life. The people who have the best sex life are always the one's who are the most physically fit (that doesn't necessarily mean thin, but certainly not one who has gained 100 lbs!!!).
I'm sure a lot of people are going to come on here bashing you about being turned off by her body, but it's a fact of life that sex is physical and looks to matter. Unless your wife has a serious medical condition or some sort of psychological one that has caused her weight gain (and is already getting help on fixing the problem), she is very disrespectful to you and herself for allow herself to become so big.
Your wife is selfish. I don't think it's possible to save a marriage from one side.
2007-10-26 14:35:35 · answer #2 · answered by some female 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you have been married to your wife for 15 years she gained a little weight that's not the end of the world. your sex life has gone down hill what about communication between the two of you. she has decided that men do not require stimulation she is not gonna waste her time . She has refuse to go to counseling and its your problem well hate to tell her this is also her problem. Sounds like your at the end of your rope but remember this what god has joined together no man put us under. Go to god in prayer and ask him what to do he never fails. this is your choice no matter what you do it is not mines.
Best of luck
2007-10-26 14:38:49 · answer #3 · answered by mmurray001 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you have to decide if you can continue on like this. If she is refusing to go to counseling then you should go for yourself to help you figure out where you are going with this relationship and where you see things in the future. You have to tell her that you are just about at your breaking point and that if the marriage is to be saved then she will have to try too. If she refuses then you know that she is ready for it to be over too and you have to make the tough decision, stay miserable and in the marriage or try to make a happier life without her. Good Luck
2007-10-26 14:39:37 · answer #4 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Breakup! If she is the controller of your world then she isn't a good wife. Picture this.You, kids, her,paying bills,child support,wife wanting stuff she can't afford and you have to buy it and daughters sweet sixteen coming dude your life will be screwed with her!SORRY FOR YOU!
2007-10-26 14:43:19 · answer #5 · answered by ♥leslie:) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I would tell her of my concerns and tell her that you feel you two need counseling. And about her weight, maybe gently offer to workout with her or go to the gym together. Hope all goes well for you both. Remember, it takes two.
2007-10-26 22:07:00 · answer #6 · answered by kcswifey79 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make an appointment with a counselor, tell her that you have scheduled an appointment for both of you to go to. If she refuses, go without her.
2007-10-26 14:33:38 · answer #7 · answered by I do 26.2 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dump the fat slouch if you can afford it. Personaly I think I'd rather sit on my left hand untill it falls asleep and stroke it with "the stranger" than deal with a selfish fat slob of a partner.
2007-10-26 14:50:53 · answer #8 · answered by h.dembie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
im going to say talk to her, if she doesnt listen then id warn her about a divorce. if nothing works and she still refuses counseling then id say divorce.
2007-10-26 14:31:35 · answer #9 · answered by djmixah7 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no worries. always wonder why some men complain about the wifes and bad mouth them???
It ok
question
what did you do to her???
2007-10-26 16:32:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋