My husband is jealous of my salsa dancing career an wants me to give it up. I am heartbroken- what do I do?

Question

I have been with my hubby for 8 years. I go salsa dancing alone all the time. Just recently he told me that he gets upset & jealous when I go. (he used to dance too but a few years ago gave it up). An old dance partner made me an offer of a life time -he wants to partner up again & compete & thinks we could win the championships & earn lots of $$ doing shows. I was extactic as it is something I only ever dreamed of (I retired from pro. dancing 5 years ago to have kids). this is my chance to make a come back but my husband said he is very uncomfortable with it & doesn't want me to do it. I am absolutely crushed & depressed about it. I don't want to hurt my husband but how can I give up on a LIFE long dream? ANY advice would be so helpful please!

By the way, when you are a pro. salsa dancer, it is not about sex. check on utube & put in salsa congress- that is the competition that I am going to win. My husband can dance but was never a pro, nor does he have interest in going dancing at all. Believe me, if he would I would choose him as my partner.

Answer 1

Go for your dream, are you kidding? If your husband can't deal with it, advise him to seek counselling.

You CANNOT give up on a lifelong dream, and your husband SHOULD be the one who is 100% behind you on that, supporting you all the way. Since he isn't, you'll have to just go do it yourself.

Please do! Please don't give up your life dream for anyone, not even a jealous husband.

Answer 2

ok, well this is your dream and youi should follow through with it, I am amazed your husband feels this way about it and doesn't support you. To say that he is jealous and is letting this get in teh way of your happiness is selfish of him and also means he doesn't trust you?????!!!!. You say you dont want top hurt your husband , but think about it he is hurting you and asking you to quit YOUR dream due to his own insecurities.! If I were you I would continue to follow what YOU want to do, have a chat with him, hopefully he will and he should understand what this means to you. Let him know that he is cruching your dreams and that most importantly he is being unfair.... how would he like it if it were the other way around after all it was his choice to give up dancing also not yours, thios does not mean you have to quit also, why doesnt he re join you.... I hope you work it out, what ever you do dont quit your dreams!

Answer 3

You have to prioritize. Which will most make you happy: your salsa dancing, or keeping a relationship with your husband? Partnering with your old dance partner - you are playing with fire, you are in a position that is most tempting to have a lover, and not your husband. You may want to convince your husband to partner with you in dancing by first giving dancing up and showing to him, you are interested only in him as a dancing partner - try a win-win situation, and think that if your husband were in your own shoes, partnering with another girl for dancing, how would you feel?

Answer 4

This is going to boil down to a simple question, what do you love more.....your marriage or you salsa dancing career?

Salsa is a sexy, hot dance and it is understndable that your husband would be uncomfortable having you dance it regularly with another man. It is a recipe for breaking up a relationship.

If you love your husband and you really want your marriage to last, you will give up the idea of dancing without him. Go back to dancing for fun every once in a while with your husband on a date night and keep your marriage alive and well.

Good Luck

Answer 5

I would not give up my dream because he did not like it. You have been dancing for years. I would have a talk with him. I would tell him that you have to pursue this and that you cannot give it up over his insecurities. I also would tell him that I did not like that he did not trust me. You will be miserable and regret it if you turn this down. I would also tell him that. Good luck to you. I hope that you fulfill your dream and I also hope that you take the championships.

Answer 6

If I were in your shoes I would tell my husband how I am feeling and then try to compromise. If you can't come to an agreement alone, go see a professional to work out your differences. A preacher, counselor, marriage counselor, or someone like that.

Answer 7

Maybe you can compromise with him. Ask him to give you 2 years, or whatever you are comfortable with, to realize your dream and after that you will give it up. Let him know that you would support, or have supported him, with his dreams and you are just asking for the chance to realize yours. If you haven't been able to get there in the time frame that you both agree on then you will give it up. He has to agree to a reasonable time frame and you can not blow that time frame out of prospective either. If you just give it up then you will end up resenting him in the future. That will get in the way of your relationship. You and he have to find a way to compromise on this one.

Answer 8

don't give up this is your dream he may just think he can tell u what to do because hes the "man"but don't quit you'll regret it I've seen many women give up there dream and let me tell you that there life is not at all happiness.

Answer 9

you need to talk to him, you aren't doing anything wrong. you can't loose yourself and what you love to do just because you are married and have kids your husband should be supporting your dream not crushing it maybe he is a little jealous OK, but don't let him forbid you to do what you love you need to talk to him

Answer 10

jealousy comes from inside a person, they know deep down what they would be up to given the same situation. you do for you cause aint nobody else going to make you happy.