I'm falling for a guy who may be manipulating me...How can I tell? And how can I tell if he really likes me?

Question

I like a man I work with. Our attraction is mutual. But we work together

He may not have a girlfriend (or he might). I don't know - he doesn't talk about having a girlfriend so even if he is "committed" he must not be TOO committed

Anyway, the situation is this: He treats me inconsistently. Sometimes he's sweet and sometimes he's not. It's like he doesn't want to show weakness; doesn't understand what it means to be sensitive. We go out to lunch often. The conversation is smooth. I like him, but he's holding back and I'm not sure how (& if I should) get through to him

He's older than me, maybe by 8 years. I'm in my mid-30s. I can't ask him outright if he has a girlfriend or ask him out. I don't think he'd know how to answer - we don't know each other that well, & I'm new to the company (he's been there for about a year and a half)

How can I get this guy to open up? How do I talk to someone who may be hiding his real feelings for me (or not)? How can see if it can go somewhere?

Answer 1

Relationships take work but this isn't even a relationship yet and you've already put in too much over time!

The guy is in his 40's and if he doesn't now how to treat a lady by now he's got to be a looser, but I'll bet it's not that. I know what it is, come a little closer to the monitor and I'll tell you...closer....closer...he's got a secret.

Take my advise and move on, save yourself the heartache.

Answer 2

The key is to remember that you've got the rest of your life ,,, if this guy is " Him !" he will be there for ever , so to hurry this would be unforgivable , and if you are barking up the wrong tree , time will shine some light on the disaster you didn't see coming , ,,
Take pictures , look at the stars , enjoy the ride ,,, after all ,,there's no way this is real ,, but if it is, and you don't make the most of it .....Well what can I say ."_ _ _ _ _ _"

Answer 3

I feel if you are asking the question then maybe you need to think about the relationship...make a journal and keep track of what your thinking then look again at the relationship you might get your answer...good luck...

Answer 4

You ar ein ur mid 30's and hes older, and ur both acting like ur 14!! Giv me a break. You be open and honest w/ him and if he is totally boggled by the situation.........then MOVE ON! You dont want to begin a relationship thats alredy complicated....thats a bit juvinile.

Answer 5

If nothing has happened yet and he hasn't opened up, forget it. He is either married or with someome else and enjoys your company at work. Don't waste time fantasizing about him. go out with bother people. Workplace relationships are usually a bad idea anyway.

Answer 6

haha. permit him have faith what he needs. yet, interior the olden days, human beings could placed on those great neclace variety issues that had the entire hebrew alphabet with a stone subsequent to it, and whilst they talked to God he could respond via letting flashes of sunshine mirror off the stone so as that it could spell issues. thats what i remember besides. thats from the bible. dont do something to disillusioned your chum besides. non secular debates can get somewhat undesirable. who is conscious? according to possibility he does have a telephone that we could him communicate over with God. and yet in a diverse way you are able to tak to him is via prayer. buuuttttt, in case you had to speak to God, why could there be telephone wires?! and that i dont think of heaven is somewhat interior the universe. God doesnt desire telephone wires! He can do something! i like him plenty. love, alice.

Answer 7

Next time you have lunch, take this question along with you and present it to him just the way you presented it here.
From my reading their is no wiggle room, his answer will resolve all issues.

Answer 8

Be cool.