If self honesty is so important , then why do people so grossly self deceive all their lives ?

Question

and completely destroy their lives ???

Answer 1

True Self-ishness always leads to joy, because it
is motivated always by the desire to feel as good
as possible. It is only when we are Self-ish
enough to be, do and act in accordance with our
desires (not someone else’s) that it is possible
to stay balanced. Energetically speaking, a desire
is a rush of life force energy, a connection to
the divine inner self, which can never result in
actions that are harmful. It is only when true
desires are blocked that they become twisted and
ugly. This statement goes against the common
wisdom that human nature is greedy, violent and
primitive. Human nature is precisely the opposite:
we are born knowing ourselves as powerful,
eternal, spiritual beings. Petty, competitive,
churlish and violent behavior must be overcome
with suitable practice. Observe your family,
friends and coworkers. Almost all of them are good
people, trying to do the best they can. It would
simply not be possible to build a sophisticated
society if human nature was so base. All
successful societies are based upon cooperation,
not competition. Competition works not because it
is adversarial, but because it inspires teamwork.
Ask two angry guys to get something constructive
done, it is not going to happen. All success is
based upon cooperation. That is because we live in
an attraction based universe.

These natural impulses are supposed to be
dangerous because they stem from a primitive
survival instinct. But human being has a better
mind than animals. Just look around at the mess
the world is in! But that is a delusional
assertion, a denial of the basic nature of
consciousness itself. The natural impulses of
human nature stem from a connection to life force,
and it is resistance to this divine impulse which
causes the selfish behavior people object to.

If you observe people you will quickly see that
those persons who are most alive are full of
desire, and those who look lifeless have little or
no desire. Desire = life force. Shut off desire =
selfish behavior. It's ironic that selfish
behavior actually results from self-denial.

Human nature is not a primitive, biological
instinct based on survival of the fittest, it’s a
pure connection to source energy. It is divine.
It's only when that connection is closed off that
selfish behavior is demonstrated. Every one of
your desires is, in its non-resisted state, joyful
and balanced, because that is an inherent property
of consciousness itself. True selfishness is
allowance of desire, without resistance, and
results in the impulse to give freely to others.
But it is first necessary to allow that impulse
within yourself.

http://kjmaclean.com/Selfishness.html

Answer 2

they probably don't realize what it is they are doing or do it on purpose...
many people struggle with this whether or not they admit it or acknowledge it is another topic for another day