there was this guy I was in love with for a whole year. I suppose I'm still not totally over him, but even when he used to hold me or kiss my neck I wouldn't move, I was so... petrified? disgusted? I don't think there's a word for it. but very uncomfortable.
and that's how I've always been, I guess. I just can't stand it. and I really want to know, what's wrong with me? I always push people away because of this. But I don't want to be like this!
2007-10-26 12:48:12 · 9 answers · asked by Kelly 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
perhaps you have mental issues that need to be professionally repaired?
2007-10-26 12:55:32 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Could it be that you're uncomfortable because he's kissing ony ou instead of you kissing on him? Perhaps it's a control issue. If you want to change, work at it. Analyze why you feel that way and are you more comfortable if you're controlling the affection. Try telling him not to move and you just give him attention. See how it feels to be the giver. Good luck girl!
2007-10-27 13:32:32 · answer #2 · answered by Dirt E. Deeds 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What's going on is that you really are NOT ready for sex and there is nothing wrong with that.
Just because someone likes you doesn't mean you owe them anything. You don't. You can like them back if you want and you can set whatever boundaries you want. If they don't like it they can take a hike.
Take time to get to know yourself, pursue your interests and screw sex. You don't have to do what everyone else does. Just do what you want. Remember the old saying just because everyone else is jumping off a cliff doesn't mean you have to follow suit.
A decent guy will respect your boundaries and when you feel it's time, it will all work itself out naturally.
And just because you don't like a guy drooling all over you does not make you gay or anything else.
2007-10-26 19:58:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you're SURE that it's guys that you like... what you might want to do is find a guy who is as non-touchy/feely as you are.
As you've experienced, it is very frustrating when one person in the relationship is physically affectionate and one is not. There are people out there who do not like physical touch ( I know, I was married to one of them).
I think society tends to tell us that love should be physically affectionate, but if that is uncomfortable for you then you must listen to your instincts.
2007-10-26 19:57:22 · answer #4 · answered by Bye for now... 5 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Perhaps a bad physical experience when you were young.
You may not even remember it, you were so young.
Was your mother physically close & warm or distant?
2007-10-26 19:53:33 · answer #5 · answered by Robert S 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
maybe you're bi or gay? ... or if that is not it maybe you were abused a child. Maybe you're afraid of being intimate with someone because someone has hurt you emotionally before.
Also I agree with Johnny... maybe you should find a non touchy feely guy.
2007-10-26 20:32:21 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Do you feel nervous? Try relaxing, and know that the person your with cares about you.
2007-10-26 19:55:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever been sexually abused? This is common for woman who have once been abused,raped or emotionally abused.
2007-10-26 19:53:40 · answer #8 · answered by LADYPRINCEZZ 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Please don't become another lesbian!
2007-10-26 19:56:28 · answer #9 · answered by honesthustler 3 · 0⤊ 7⤋