To: Anonymous
The First Time I saw you
The feeling was true
Of the fact that your
One of a few
When I looked in your eyes
I felt like I could fly
And I dreaded I would
Have to say good bye
When I heard your voice
I felt sweet Rejoice
That’s when I knew
You were my choice
I’ve had feelings for you before
But I was blocked by a door
I wont give up now
Even if I fall to the ground
Your amazing, beautiful,
Sweet and true
And that’s why I want to be with you!
2007-10-26 12:27:25 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
nice.
2007-10-26 14:01:41 · answer #1 · answered by B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
catastrophic. SUCH AN OVERUSED SUBJECT. Isn't there anything except for love in the world? Aren't you tired of this dreary subject? It sound like a corny hallmark greeting cards poem. PLEASE, be more creative. You obviously are talented, but write something new. When I heard the first stanza, I was nauseated. because of the tedious topic you chose.
2007-10-26 20:56:55 · answer #2 · answered by sting 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All good til you get to the last paragraph-week ending...fix just the last ...even if I fall to the ground. actually take that line out and move up the rest and it sounds good...
2007-10-26 19:52:47 · answer #3 · answered by mrsbsy06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not bad. You should continue your rhyme scheme in the last two stanzas, and use the word "you're" when you mean "you are."
2007-10-26 20:22:04 · answer #4 · answered by Ronnie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow your not JUSTAGUY...you're a wonderful person who can put your feelings into an awesome poem.
Good job!
2007-10-26 19:37:31 · answer #5 · answered by Wanna-be-Dear-Abby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋