My ex will not talk to me without going through my mother. Anytime I get him to talk to me all he does is yell

Question

He is totally irrational with me. If I don't answer my phone. He starts threating me with lawsuits and taking my kids away. I finally give in and inform him that I will not argue with him, and when he is rational, I will discuss the issues with him. He will turn around and call my mom and make up all sorts of things. I am 30 and he is 35. Does anyone else have this situtation? Even when I need simple answers about our kids. He will do this, it is soooooooo frustrating!!!!!!!!!!!!! Any suggestions would be great.

Answer 1

Ive gone through something similar but not exactly the same as far as the mother is concerned. First in this day and age im sure ur mother has caller ID , if she doesnt then u need to get that for her and tell her NOT to answer his phone calls or have his phone number blocked from her phone. whatever it takes but u need to tell her to stay out of it. Next when he is on the phone with you the moment he starts yelling you simply say when u can have an "mature" conversation call me back, and hang up the phone. Also another solution, is email, most people these days have some sort of access to email. So to avoid confrontation, email him your questions, or give him access to your email address because when he starts getting blocked at every turn he will eventually get upset cause he cant contact you and act this way. You didnt specify who has custody of the kids, i will assume that u do but if not and your wanting to talk to the kids, and if he is unbearable to deal with u go back to court and have Phone stipulations ordered by the court , such as you get to call the kids at 7pm every night and the children are to answer the phone not him. If you have the kids, then u need to eliminate as much communication with him as possible since he's not being reasonable , dont depend on him.. if he gets the kids on friday at 6 , then thats what time he's to come and get them.. dont plan anything those weekends unless its an emergency.. that way theres no reason to talk to him about whats going on during his weekends. If the kids have a bday party for a friend that weekend.. simply write him a letter and put it in the mail, or have the kids tell him when they get to his house and let it be his choice whether to take them or not.. Communication is key but not if u cant have a civil conversation with your x.. so if u must use "snail" mail any time u can, and have it signed reciept so when he trys to pull he didnt recieve notice of changes u can prove that he did.. etc..but always keep a copy of anything u send him email or snail mail for your own records.. You getting so upset about this is only fueling his power to be able to treat u this way, so be smarter then him, use your brain on how to get the power back and to stop the insanity.. but definately get your mother out of the picture this is between u and him and she needs to stay out of the middle of all this before it ends up ruining ur relationship with your mother.

Answer 2

Its called domestic violence , verbal and emotional abuse , he is trying to control you by using threats of removing your children from your care , when you divorced / seperated did you go to court and apply for any kind of court order?

If no then I'd suggest ringing your closest legal aid office and arranging through them with an attourney present for mediation with your ex .

I'm going through the same thing my ex and I cant talk , he was always emotionally and verbally abusive as well as physical to some points , I didnt call it domestic violence because in my eyes , it just couldnt happen to me , we've been divorced 8 years and it wasnt until May this year I finally came to terms with what it is .

You need help get it now for the sake of those children , I have 4 with my ex and believe me the crap I am going through trying to keep my kids on the straight and narrow because of their father's constant abuse I wouldnt wish on anyone , you need to do this and you need to do it now.Take the power away from him and show him you wont be bossed around anymore.

I just read the above answer's , unless your in a state where recording abusive phone call's is allowed it is not a good idea to record anything like for instance in Australia , if you record your ex-spouse you can be charged for violating their privacy if you fail to tell them at the start of the conversation that they are being recorded , seriously you need to speak to legal aid and get ALL information before you put yourself in danger of breaking laws because you didnt investigate properly 1st what you can and cant do , be careful and good luck.

Answer 3

get to him psychologically!! whenever he goes off on a bender, ignore him. act like you dont hear him. if you keep doing this he will tire from this and change. but whatever you do dont let him know that you are upset, bcuz if you do he has won. try your very best to not appear to be frustrated. be the bigger person by not letting him get to you and just ignore him as long as he's like that. when he calms down and is civil then communicate with him, eventually he will get the message .

Answer 4

do no longer kick your self so perplexing, ok? It was once frequently a snicker on the time and in part thinking you have been eating. the guy is a jerk. as properly, he contacted you. there is no longer something to assume risky approximately. in case you had contacted him, that would desire to be a extra tale. with a bit of luck he would desire to no longer call you as quickly as extra. I had an ex call me as quickly as after 2 an prolonged time! It was once a snicker getting caught up even in spite of the incontrovertible fact that he's married with 4 infants now. He saved calling me like each and each six months in need of to hook up with me. I in simple terms began putting up on him jointly as he wide-unfold as. JERK.

Answer 5

he's telling on you to mommy? oh my god! that's just ridiculous, and he's lying on top it. it sounds like you may need to have a professional mediator at all times, but that would be expensive. it's pretty sad you have to reason with him like you would a three-year-old, but it doesn't seem like there's any way around it without keeping your conversations limited with professionals present. since you aren't together anymore, you don't have to answer to him. just make sure the kids see him and talk to him and you've done your part.

Answer 6

You need to hire a good lawyer and take him to court.

In the mean time, keep good records with dates and times of his irrational behavior.

Good luck.

Answer 7

SOUNDS LIKE A SERIOUSLY BAD CASE OF MOMMA'S BOY! WRITE THINGS DOWN LIKE THE DATE ARGUMENTS AND HIS BEHAVIOR INSTEAD OF RECORDING IF THAT IS WHAT YOU WANT BUT I WOULD CONTINUE TRYING TO COMMUNICATE WITH HIM YOUR CONCERNS IN A RATIONAL WAY. GOOD LUCK

Answer 8

record your conversations with him. if he takes you to court or something, you'll have evidence.