My husband has depression and refuses to accept it. He says I am wrong, that he doesnt have depression. But he is 56, is trying to work out of our home and keeps getting into deeper debt. He sits all day and reads news on the internet and watches TV. When he finally comes out of his office at 7-8pm, he goes right back in front of the TV and stays up till 1-2am. Then sleeps late and it starts all over. He doesn't do anything unless I push him. His office is a mess. He wont get a job outside of the house even though he is a brilliant attorney. He wont exercise. He takes a herbal anti-depressant, but refuses to go to the doctor and still insists he doesnt have depression. He is 56, has no retirement, no savings, no disability, no longterm care. Nothing. I work and have all this, and I own my own home which we live in. It was mine before we married so he has no financial security for the future. He wont go to counseling and the one time we did, he got furious after we left. Now what?????
2007-10-26 12:15:12 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Decide if you want to be in a relationship with someone who won't get help. Make the choice to stay in relationship and accept who he is or move on...
If you think he is suicidal, you could call police and force him to get help, but that is extreme.
2007-10-26 12:19:41 · answer #1 · answered by brwneyes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
about 5 years ago, I started to fall into a really depressive episode. At first I thought it was only because I had a bad break from a relationship but the feelings wouldn't go away even after I got a new girlfriend. It was wrecking my life until a point where it was seriously affecting my work and personal life.
She was very worried but at the same time couldn't understand why I was still sad and thought that I still couldn't let go of my previous relationship. Being the wonderful person that she is, she put aside her feelings and suggested I go for psychiatric evaluation. Many months later and even more anti-depressants, I was not coming close to being better at all.
After doing some research online, I found out the real cause as you described it really makes a lot of sense and purchased this program. The results were simply astonishing. I read this book over three times and put all words in action. Using this method, I've kept my depression at bay ever since. Up to date I'm still living happily with my girlfriend.
Depression Free Method?
2016-05-16 01:10:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well depression keeps him occupied from Knowing he has nothing, no retirement, no savings, no disability etc, so stay depressed and feel fullfilled instead.
YOU have the house and work and he already knows how he feels about his effectiveness and self worth as a man that has nothing and thats apart of his depression. he wont tell you that though since pride is in the way.
you have encouraged him and all you can do now is get harder with him to pull his socks up since you want the best for him or ignore his attention for his pity.
2007-10-26 12:26:54 · answer #3 · answered by dot 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
need to break him of his daily routine.. try taking walks or some kind of excersize you can do together.. i find breaking the lazy part is just about starting something and once you do your not infront of the tv anymore and get motivated to do other things.. if that doesn't work.. type up a letter that your cable service will be out periodically and they will crediting your account as needed.. then disconnect the cable hear and there.. see what he does with nothing to stimulate his tv watching habit
2007-10-26 12:21:31 · answer #4 · answered by daigle451 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is what it is. Accept it or move on. You cannot force him to do anything. If you leave..........it may motivate him into change. Not that you would benefit from it much. Make sure you have life insurance on him and that you save your money. You will probably live longer than he will. You are co-dependant. Part of you accepting his laziness has not helped. Why should he change? You are allowing it to be this way.
2007-10-26 12:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by spinster wife 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It's evident that you have been a loving wife to someone who will probably never get help. If he won't see a professional about his depression, he definitely won't go with you to a marriage councilor. My opinion is, get your freedom from him and let him deal with it alone. Life is too short to waste it on him any longer.
Best of luck, hon!
2007-10-26 12:22:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
then instead of trying to help him...you need to start looking out for yourself. seriously...if he will not get help then you need to leave him and help yourself. otherwise you will be just as depressed as he is and frustrated and mad. he's not doing anything about his sitation and you can't do anymore. i hope you don' t have children to work thorugh this as well cause that will only make your leaving that much harder.
2007-10-26 13:02:16 · answer #7 · answered by cfalways 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get a hold of anti depressants and add it to his food. This will definetly make him better.
2007-10-26 12:22:49 · answer #8 · answered by Lucci 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
it is YOUR house so tell him to leave and you want a trial seperation until he can see and hear from the help of counseling,,,,, i mean really, that is all you can ask.... unless you u want him to continue this behavior... blessings///
cristellle
2007-10-26 12:23:55 · answer #9 · answered by cristelle R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel for you, i don't think you can help someone who cannot see for themselves they are spiriling out of control, do you have someone who could mediate on your behalf, (an old law partner, children, clergy) someone who perhaps he feels can be more biased (sometimes the closer we are to them the less they listen)
2007-10-26 12:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by Beverly W 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋