My husband has a dilemma.?

Question

He paid child support for a child that was not his and the child was concieve while they were married now she is continuely going up on the child support he is already paying for his daughter. We love the kids and we get all of them every other weekend with no problems and they love to be around. They call thru the week asking us to come and get them and take them to school in the mornings we got off to a rocky start but he feels like he needs his money back. It does not bother me at all I need help!!!!!!!!

He got a paternity test and the child is not his. and also the relationship with the child will never change but fair is fair.

There are two children a boy and a girl and girl is his not the boy.

Answer 1

It may not be from biology, but that is HIS daughter. I don't know how he can possibly have an emotional attachment to her and then complain about having to help maintain her financially. He should want what is best for HER. It is unfortunate that her mother cheated, but that isn't the little girl's fault.

You may or may not be able to have support stopped, but be careful what you wish for. If he does a DNA test, he may not be responsible for support, depending on which state, but he will also lose ALL rights to his daughter. Her mother can refuse him visitation and he wouldn't have a leg to stand on. What is more important? The child support or a relationship with his little girl?

Answer 2

If he pays child support to a child who is not biologically his why hasnt he done a DNA test to prove the child isnt his so child support can be stopped?.

Does he still see the child? is the child calling him daddy ? does he tell the child he loves her? You know he knew according to you through the mariage that the child wasnt his and now the marriage is over he doesnt want to pay for the child because it's not his ? how ridiculous and selfish , does he know that if he chooses now to start issues concerning money with this child it will start a snow ball effect down the side of mount everest?

By choosing to not pay child support for the child he was fully aware wasnt his in the 1st place , but yet accepting the child as his and allowing the child to believe the child was his will have that child going off the rails as it grows up , because when he tell's his ex he is no longer paying child support the child will pick up on the tension and it will most likely start getting into trouble at school , then experimenting with drugs and alcahol , sex (which leads to diseases) all because he's all of a sudden become selfish about his money.

Your man needs to make a choice , either step up and stay up as this child's only known father figure , or just step out al together and forget he has any children to this woman , because he isnt any kind of man who deserves his own children if he can play money mind games like this.

And if it doesnt bother you why arent you trying to discourage him from ruining the stability and life this child has known since birth? I highly doubt it doesnt bother you and I'm sorry but you know as well I do that child deserves to stay safe and happy , he chose to play daddy it's not a dog , he cant just play with it for a certain amount of years then turn it over to the pound because he got bored with it.

Answer 3

As long as he was married to the mother at the time of the child's birth, he is deemed to be the father. I don't know what the new laws are with DNA and all involved and if you want to put everyone through that. I don't know how old the child is, but I guess I would counter sue asking for joint custody, if you have that in your state. Then each parent pays for 50 percent of the child maintenance because the child is with each parent 50 percent of the time. State's usually have a formula for figuring out whether additional child support money is paid. If your husband is paying health insurance and other maintenance in addition to the child support, he should bring that to court. There is no need to just knuckle under to the Mom. Go to court and present your side. He will never get the money back. You really need to talk to someone who is an aggressive family law attorney.

Answer 4

I dont know how old the child is but a friend of mine was in the same situation. He asked for a paternaty test when the child was 16, and it turned out he was not the boys father. When he went to court the judge told him he still had to pay child support, no way around it. He was so mad he cut off all ties with the boy. Apparently he never felt a real connection to him. I think if your husband can prove this child is not his, at least he may not have any more increases in the child support. If the child is young enough he may get out of the supoort payments. Even so, that does not mean he has to break ties with the child.

Answer 5

If they were married when the child was born, he is responsible for the child. Unless a court decides otherwise. If you do a paternity test you can take it to court and depending on the judge he may order the biological father to start making the support payments. It could be different in different states.

Answer 6

First of all this woman was wrong to claim that he was the child's father and wasn't and she should pay him back it is the principal of the matter. She should not be going up on his child support for the daughter. i would go to court and have her pay him back. It doesn't bother you at all but it is bothering him because, he feels as though he was used. what she did to him.is unbearable. I know that you and your husband loves the kids very much and would do anything for them.
some how you think that this will effect the relationship you have with the kids because she may want to try and get back at him though the kids. But as parent he has writes also.

best of luck

Answer 7

I'm not an attorney. But I know that an attorney would wonder why your husband did not contest the parternity of the child before support order was written and more importantly, is he still paying child support on the child that isn't his?

It sounds like he is still very involved in this child's life inspite of not being his/her biological father. That is the most important part.

Your husband should contact an attorney that specializes in Family Law. Many of them offer free consultations.

Answer 8

Okay, since DNA proves that he is not the father he can go to court and have the support order resinded. Since he readily agreed to pay child support without DNA testing I doubt he would qualify to have any that has been paid out paid back. He agreed to it without benefit of DNA that wasn HIS fault as much as her's. If he didn't want to pay it in the first place he should have had the tests done in the beginning.

Answer 9

Even though you guys love the child you can still get the child and see the child. You can still treat the child the same as always but if I was him I would want my money back too. Yes I would still continue to do things with and holidays and so on for the child. But if the women lied to him and keeps taking him to court for a child that wasn't your husbands then she is just money hungry it looks like to me. that is not right of her. That is so selfish of her. He should take her to court and get the child support stopped and try to get his money back. Good luck

Answer 10

So this woman has two children, one that IS his and he's paying for, and one that ISN'T his and he's paying for, right?

I would get a lawyer and a DNA test, but be prepared for a BIG stink that will tear up whatever relationship he has with his other child.

If his ex can be halfway rational, maybe he can discuss it with her and tell her this is what he's going to do. She MIGHT cut him some slack with future money, rather than have everything dragged thru the mud, but I would almost guarantee he'll never see any money he's paid in the past.

Good luck! Hope it works out.