He lies, cheats, and treats me awful. He is not a good person, but for some reason I keep going back. His friends all say I deserve better. I get anxious when I stop seeing him after a few days and take him back. He has wrecked my car, motorcycle, finances, not to mention breaking my heart. I didn't date for 6 years before meeting him, and don't know a lot of people to keep myself occupied.
2007-10-26 11:10:01 · 13 answers · asked by zzsand 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
take up hobbies, exercise, eat well invest time in you. forget about concentrating on him. I have had breakups where I found myself "alone" with no friends after but I bounce back I make new friends and I come back better. This guy is a loser you deserve better treat yourself with the respect you deserve and don't let this scum bag back into your life.
2007-10-26 11:13:29 · answer #1 · answered by Roxanne G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
(((BIG HUGS))) I know right now you are hurting by this second, third, fourth or whatever number of betrayal he has done to you and your heart has been shattered again.
I do advise you to read over this post .... you have listed all the horrible things this man has done to you hun. He has cheated, lied, treated you terribly, smashed your car, motorcycle, made you go into debt for him and has now for the upteenth time has broken your heart.
All these things don't make him the ideal boyfriend does it? You haven't listed one thing on here that makes you feel warm inside that he does for you.
Why would you want to be with this man? I am guessing it because he has made you feel so low about yourself that you feel it is best to be in a relationship that is terrible, than to be alone.
Each time you take him back you are probably thinking it will be THIS time that he changes and you throw your all into the relationship again, only to be hurt when the same things happen again.
The very FIRST time you forgave him hun, he used this to his advantage. Instead of proving to you he could be trusted and that the two of you had a good relationship, he just used you as a doormat and saw your act as forgiveness as a green light to keep doing what he wanted as he was given best of both worlds. To be the horrible boyfriend and do what he wanted and to know you were there waiting for him no matter what.
The thing you need to do now is to stop making yourself so available to him. Seeing his friends is hard and I would advise you not to see them until you are TRUELY 100% over this guy. Reason being is that each time you see them you are not getting closure as the boyfriend subject is brought up and you end up thinking about what the two of you had and maybe you take him back to prove to others and yourself that it can work, but you know deep down inside hun that it is not.
You need to fully cut yourself off from this guy, you so deserve better and the only way to get out there and meet people is to take opportunites that allow you to do this.
Maybe begin a course at a local college where you learn a subject that has always interested you, or join a gym or something.
Doing something productive will take your mind of this guy, get you forming new friendships and most importantly mend that shattered self-esteem and confidence.
Dating is something that you will endure again but with some guy who deserves it and makes you feel special and gives his all in a relationship.
Just because you have split with this guy does not mean you need to go sleeping around for company or enter a quick re-bound relationship.
Take time out to be YOU again, to have fun and do what you want to do and learn to be independant so that you feel strong enough to walk away and take no crap of any other guys who try to pull the wool over your eyes.
Just tell yourself you worth more and that although you tried loads of times, this relationship with this particular guy is not worth it. Then get closure and move on.
Trust me you deserve more and CAN do this.
Hang on in there hun!
Big hugs and thoughts
Lx
2007-10-26 18:27:12 · answer #2 · answered by SunshineApple 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand your situation perfectly because I been there myself. In my case, I let myself be controlled by him totally without realising.. i was dependent on him, i lost many friends to keep him company all the way.. my life circles ard him and when he left me i suffer anxiety attacks because his become a huge part of my life and suddenly i had nothing to hold on to in life..
I took medication for a while but it just made me drowsy the whole day... the best thing i did then was to brace up pack my bags and go travelling to a faraway country.. luckily i still ve frens there.. the new exciting experiences really helped n i found a new love.. or u can build up ur confidence by changing a new wardrobe going for a make over then join some class ur interested in, maybe dance or art.. make new friends.. very soon u look back and find that his so puny n worthless n hw foolish u r... its difficult at 1st but u will heal trust me =)...
And oh don forget to break all contact with him during ur healing period... or it aint going to work cos ur fragile...
2007-10-26 18:35:29 · answer #3 · answered by rinoa81 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe its time to be Honest with yourself & say Your a Better Person & move Foward & Get Councilling if you need to, Also drink Relazing teas to calm yourself down, Lavender Tea Is good, Treat yourself to a Dinner, Pick yourself Up & you need to Follow Your Heart, If He Liked You, He woulnt Be treating you like this Hon. Yes You can do better, But We cant sit & write To you & make you Sweetie, Only Your Heart Knows, But Get a Grip , Pick yourself Up & dust yourself Off & say Your a good person & Sleep on it & hope Everything Goes The Way you Really Want & God Bless & good Luck.
2007-10-26 18:31:13 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend whos boyfriend does and says some really NASTY things to her yet she is still with him because she loves him. You must be going back for a reason, do u love him? you have realised that he is no good. you need to leave him and get on with ur life. it will be hard at first but after time u will look back and thunk I wish Id done it sooner. Why dont u take up a new hobby to keep urself occupied?
good luck x
2007-10-26 18:16:37 · answer #5 · answered by Coco v 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you can break this pattern, why would you be heartbroken over him anyway? It sounds like he treats you like cr*p and wrecks your life. Is this all you feel you deserve? Go out there and get yourself some self esteem sista!! Head right on back in there for some more pain if you like it? xx
2007-10-26 19:24:55 · answer #6 · answered by farleyjackmaster 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Now here's trouble with a capital "T". GET AWAY FROM HIM!!!
Geez...FIND a new interest, meet new people, go to an event on your own where there is mingling - this is HOW you meet new people!
VERY unhealthy situation for you...haven't you given him ENOUGH? I can't make you feel good enough about yourself to MOVE ON, honey, the work is clearly yours! -If you want to keep bein the doormat, it is, your choice. If you want to RISE ABOVE and be better to yourself and the rest of the world - DUMP THE LOSER!
Sheesh!
Grace
2007-10-26 18:14:50 · answer #7 · answered by bunnyONE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How much do you love him and how much do you think he REALLY loves you! My man was great at first then a year in hit a freaky stage where he feared commitment. During this time he mucked about, he was disrespectful and it was bad. I made him bend over backward to make things up to me over a long period of time and he loved me enough to stick in and make the effort .If he hadn't we would be finished now and everything we have worked for would be gone. We have now been together for 11 years and married for over 5!
2007-10-26 18:22:47 · answer #8 · answered by kdee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep yourself as busy as possible, join groups, work out, work extra hours, meet new people, whatever you can do to stay busy, you'll still think about him once in awhile probably but thats better than all the time.
2007-10-26 18:15:07 · answer #9 · answered by scorch_22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think u keep going back because hes ur first boyfriend since 6 years of not dating. and u probaly really do like/love him.
if he really has done that much damage to u, leave him now, try to move on and date other people.
2007-10-26 18:28:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋