what should i do?

Question

my husband and I went to see the world cup in Paris last week. We had a great time and flew back the following morning. however due to our horel being situated miles out, we went to the airport earlier and desided to get some sleep.
When I woke up, my husband had gone. I looked at my watch and it was 7am the time we were due to fly.
After putting a tanoyd announcement up and contacting the police we found out he had borded the plane, leaving me with just my passport and no money.
I eventually was put on the next available flight and was fumming. My parents were out of their mind with worry but my husband cannot see what he did wrong! he said he didnt want to loose money and miss his flight-i was sleeping right next to him.
i feel so upset that he put money before my safety and feel like ending our marriage, he obviously thinks nothing of me to do this.
what are all your thoughts, no sarcastic ones please, ive been through enough.

thanks

i know its hard to believe but i swear it happened, yes we have one daughter he truly says it was my fault? how? im so upset he has never done anything like this before but he never accepts blame or apologises.
Im so upset about this as well as embarrassed everybody i have told agrees this was a thoughtless thing to do but he just says 'you wasnt there'
I feel nothing but anger for him at the moment.

Answer 1

I can totally understand why you feel really upset. What he did comes across as very childish, selfish and mean-spirited ... not at all the behaviour anyone would hope for from the person whom they should be able to rely on to be their soft place to fall. The good news is that you are OK, so before you actually DO anything, take some time to think about it.

Maybe it's not quite as bad as you feel it is (sorry, I'm not meaning to belittle your feelings, just that if you're going to make a major decision, it's important to try and take some of the emotion out of it so you can decide from a rational perspective)

You are the only person who can decide, but I would suggest you think about whether this is out of character, or whether this is a good pointer as to his true nature.

If it's his true nature, you then have to decide whether his good points (he must have some or you wouldn't have married him) outweigh that. If they don't then I guess you'll probably walk away in the end even if it's not over this.

If it's just a stupid mistake that he can't find a way to admit to, (some men can be very bad at this) and the rest of him is great, then you'll have to find some way to move on from it. If he can't admit to it, then going on about it isn't going to help. Of course what he did is unacceptable, but that's not exactly the point. If you're not going to get a result that you want, then you need to think of another way to enable him to understand what it felt like for you.

Do you believe he loves you - ie does he do enough good stuff for you to be able to believe this, and do you love him seem to me to be the important first questions to answer.

If the answers are yes, then you have a basis to build on. If either answer is no, then I would suggest that counselling would be a good next step. Ask him if he will come, if he won't then go by yourself. Sometimes it takes a change in one's own behaviour to spark a change in the other person's. I'm not suggesting you've done anything wrong, just that outside help may be able to help you find a way to get him to see things from your perspective a bit more easily - sounds like he has some trouble doing that, to say the least!

Either way, good luck, and please think carefully before taking any big decisions, (quadruply so if you have children) it's going to affect the rest of your life.

Answer 2

you and your husband left hotel early went to the air port together and he left you there at the air port you woke up and he was gone. after speaking to the police you found out he had boarded the plane you had no money but a passport. your parents were up set by this and i would have been also there was no need for him to leave you behind. You thought he cared more about money than you. This is no reason to want to end your marriage i can see you being up set but my parents always told me never to go any where without any money at all and I live by that day by day. I believe that he owes you and apology for doing this and your parents as well.

best of luck

Answer 3

Your husband boarded a plane home and left you in Paris with only your passport and he CAN'T SEE WHAT HE DID WRONG?!! A blind man could SEE what he did wrong?!! SO he didn't want to lose money but had no problem "losing" his wife?!! Where are this man's priorities? Without a doubt my husband would be strung up if he did this to me...ending the marriage is another story but my goodness how selfish can one person be?! Can you kick his a $$?!

Answer 4

You have every right to be upset. I do think
that he is a very self absorbed person. He is the center of his universe and you do not
come in second.
You should ask yourself how many times this has happened. Probably on a smaller scale of course. Has he missed picking you up because he has something else to
do? Has he asked you to do things for him
so that he could do something more fun?
Maybe skipped a date with you to be with his friends?
If so, I would definitely think about what you
want out of your marriage and ask yourself
if you think you will get it. You cannot change your mans behavior. Maybe you`ll want to change your man.

Answer 5

He is a selfish prig. Hopefully you don't have children with this man. Being abandoned in a foreign country by your thoughtless and cruel husband is grounds for divorce if you ask me.

Answer 6

Wow...that's...yeah. There's no reason he couldn't wake you up. That's ridiculous. My husband and I travel like that all the time (staying all night at the airport), and it doesn't take much to wake the other person up.

I highly recommend some counseling.

Answer 7

WOW that is really really inconsiderate. I would be pissed if my husband ever did anything like that to me. I think divorce is the answer simply because he did show you that he cares nothing about you. that is outragous i have never heard of such a thing.

Answer 8

What the hell is wrong with him? If he sees no wrong then you need to and get out while you can. What if it was worst? What if he put your life or health before money? That is no man but a complete heartless, CHEAP, coward!

Answer 9

well if this story is true he is a total ignorant bastard and you need to have changes the locks on him next time he comes home from work

Answer 10

I would be extremly upset as well. Has he ever done anything like this before?