She comes to me crying with because her father hits her for really stupid stuff or if she is just in the way when he is pissed off. I dont want to just sit by and do nothing while it happens but I also dont want to screw up her life by telling someone and getting him taken away or worse, telling someone and them not taking him away. He will know she told someone and then really beat her. Apparantly it doesnt happen as much as it used to but I dont think it should happen at all. There are no really visable bruises.......... What should I do?
2007-10-26 10:33:46 · 13 answers · asked by answers are new questions 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
All you can do is talk to your girlfriend so that she comes out of victim mode and takes some action. It is really difficult to deal with a bully who terrorises for purposes of control, and no doubt she loves him despite his behaviour. You don't say how old she is. If she is under 18, calling Childline would be the best bet, but she must do it, not you. Don't call the police, it might make everything a hundred times worse, and you might put yourself in danger from this man. She must stand up to him and tell him that if it happens one more time, she will either leave (if she can, it doesn't sound like she can though), or she will report him either to the police or to social services. I have a feeling she will earn herself another beating, but it might just make him stop and think.
What is her mother doing about this, if she has one? Is her mother being beaten too, or other members of the family? This situation sounds very ugly indeed.
If it is at all possible, could she live with you and your family? You need to keep talking to her and try to make her see that this behaviour is horrifying, unacceptable and MUST stop.
You sound just the sort of boyfriend she needs, good luck, and stay strong for her.
2007-10-26 10:47:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Screw up her life by attempting to stop the beatings??? Maybe her father being taken out of the equation isn't a bad thing if he's hitting her. Probably a family epidemic...talk to her and tell her that there are people who can help keep her safe. Councilors at school, clergy, another adult...get her to talk...
2007-10-26 10:43:48 · answer #2 · answered by mamapoulette 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
By law, if you know that someone is being abused then you are supposed to report. Call the police or child protective services (if she's under 18)
2007-10-26 10:53:18 · answer #3 · answered by jens4real 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to call Dept. of Children and Family services and tell them about it, and ask for advice about what to do. She should not live in fear of being hurt in her own home. Try talking to your parents also about this; it's possible that another living situation may be able to be worked out.
2007-10-26 10:44:31 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is a minor, call Child Protective Service. Tell them that she is in immediate danger. He has to be stopped.
2007-10-26 10:57:57 · answer #5 · answered by notyou311 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police
2007-10-26 10:39:41 · answer #6 · answered by Backhoe 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell the school counselor.She may be exxagerating I dont know but if she isnt then someone needs to step in.Itd be worse to do NOTHING than to try and help.
2007-10-26 10:42:59 · answer #7 · answered by Joe F 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She may be merely seeking attention & sympathy from you. If there are no bruises, then maybe it's not as bad as she's exaggerating it to be. Call child services as an anonymous caller. They will investigate for you.
2007-10-26 10:45:51 · answer #8 · answered by J Doe 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Call the police if you see any marks on her...they will take his *** to jail. I would also talk to her school's guidance counselor...this will leave her messed up psychologically for the rest of her life.
2007-10-26 10:43:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
well maybe you should just pray about it but you really need to tell someone listen to the song concrete angels by martina mcbride youll understand why u should good luck
2007-10-26 10:42:58 · answer #10 · answered by palamino girl 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋