I gossiped and regret it!?

Question

I gossiped very intimate information about a friend to my husband and best friend and now I can't get them to stop making comments about her. Now, everytime I'm with this friend, they make comments and remarks about her that are uncalled for. I'm truly sorry and regret that I ever said anything about her to them. I've asked them to not talk about her like that but they won't. How do I get them to stop?

Unlike Bob, SERIOUS ANSWERS ONLY!!! THANX!

Answer 1

Be aggressive! Be be aggressive! I can't believe your husband won't keep his mouth shut. Your friend.....hmmmm.....there's only so much you can do. I would try one more time, and this time tell them you're beginning to realize your mistake with telling them a secret, and if they don't stop you'll be very upset at THEM and you won't ever be able to tell them things again. Also, tell your husband to get a grip and respect your wishes - its your friend not his - you have more power over him then you do your friend. If that doesn't work, I would then stop hanging out with them at the same time - and just you and your friend get together. And now - learn! Never, ever gossip if your not ready to deal with the worst-case-scenario of the consequences! It's a hard lesson to learn. Good luck!

Answer 2

You can't take it back. So - you will just have to do "control-damage". Know .. "to have a friend" .. "you must first be a friend". A true friend. Don't tell intimate things about your friends. Just let this be a valuable lesson learned .. we all have to learn these things.

First - give your husband & best friend the explanation that you deeply regret telling intimate information about your friend .. that you wished you have never told. Also - tell them that it is very, VERY - important to YOU .. that they DO NOT tell anyone else this information .. and that they STOP making comments & remarks about her. Tell them it is not fair to her. "Do unto others, as you want them to do to you" .. woulld be a good reminder to them. Also - you might add .. that NO ONE is without faults .. including them .. so they might want to "back-off" of her. Tell them you are serious.

"IF" .. they do not stop it .. then get very FIRM with them - and tell them again. If they continue to do it .. you take an EXIT and leave their company when they do it.

Get your point across to them - that you intend for them to STOP ... and you MEAN IT !!!

There is no definite way to stop them -- however, if they continue to do it - after you have asked them not to .. you might question them WHY they won't stop.

Tell them this is the least can do for the person, after you told intimate info on your friend.

Be relentless, until they STOP.

Answer 3

Unfortunately, I've been there, too tell the friend unless you stop, I'm not hanging out with you anymore if you don't stop and be serious
Tell your husband that everys snide remark he makes about her just hurts you. If he respects you he'll stop, too.
And, c'mon be a big girl and own up to what you did.
You might lose her as a friend, but hey, at least you told the truth and maybe someday she'll forgive you. It will probably get back to her anyways, if it hasn't already. You broke the trust and be adult about it.

Answer 4

If I were you, I would tell your friend (the one you gossiped about) that you did something wrong, and that you were truly sorry.

As for your husband and your other friend, tell them exactly what you said. That what they are saying is completely uncalled for, they're being really rude, and that you don't appreciate what they're doing. Hopefully they'll understand. If they don't and they keep it up, try to get on another subject. Good luck.

Answer 5

You got the candle lit and now must attempt to blow out the wick. You may be wise to talk with the friend about whom you gossiped about and be honest with them and then apologize for doing so. Then approach the people who continue to spread things about this friend and inform them you made a mistake and do not want to be involved in any more of their petty gossip. True eh, the tongue cuts deeper than any knife could ever cut.

Answer 6

It sounds like your friends are really immature. Time for them to grow up or time for you to move on. As far as your husband goes, sit him don't (don't just say something in passing) and tell him that he is being immature and he needs to realize that no one is perfect and no one likes to have their dirty laundry aired. Think of something about him that he would hate if other people know and ask him how he would feel if other people talked about it behind his back. The main thing is that you need to stand your ground and make it clear that saying rude things about your friends is unacceptable. If he still does not get it. Then admit to your friend you that gossiped about her. Then the next time your husband says something, immediately bring it to the attention of your friend. Most people that feed off of gossip like that wont confront he person they are gossiping about. So make him confront her and he might learn to shut up.

Answer 7

Just tell the people who make remarks to shut the hell up or ur not gonna hang with them and if they say ok just leave them take the friend and the people will come crallling back then they do any thing to get you back.

Answer 8

Your husband and his friend are jerks. And you can tell them I said it. You need to talk to him and tell him that you told him the information in confidence. Now he is abusing it. Tell him that the trust that you had in him is gone, and you probably won't tell him anything ever again.

Telling the best friend, you shouldn't have done it, but talk with him also and tell him that you trusted him.

Does'nt sound like you are going to shame these two into anything. And you are going to have to live with what you have done and just hope that they have not passed the information on.

This is something that you should not have to live with.

Answer 9

its cool for real i think its natural for people to talk behind each others backs cause talking about the weather can only take you so far hey what she cant hear cant hurt her and unless its true why would she care even if its true why would she care chin up man its all good it ll die down no regrets regrets taste sour a mistake is only a mistake if you don't learn from it and if she has any back bone at all it will just roll of her back

Answer 10

Wow...I think we've all been there at some point.
Confront your friend in a stern way. Don't ask--tell them to stop, and tell them it's rude and immature.
I think if you mention the fact that it wasn't your place to share that information, but you made a mistake and cant fix it, what they can do is be mature enough to realize what they're saying is hurtful and fix THEIR mistake.