i am a new dad of a 4 month old son, but my wife is depressed. I work, and she stays at home with the baby. Are there any suggestions out there that can help me make her happy
2007-10-26 09:12:39 · 24 answers · asked by nate d 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
She needs to be evaluated by a doctor. She may have post-partum depression. It can be very serious if not treated.
Please urge her to see a doctor.
2007-10-26 09:16:17 · answer #1 · answered by Slipped Halo 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
First of all, major Kudo's to you for noticing her depression. I can't tell you how many men out there that are completely oblivious to what their wives are going through. As your son is only four months old, this sounds like Post Partum Depression. Often, women who have recently given birth have a hormonal imbalance and/or do not feel they can keep up with the demands of a newborn, and feel overwhelmed. This is something to take very seriously, as women can spiral downward if they don't get help. First, I would read up on Post Partum Depression, and I've included some websites below. Then, armed with knowledge, pick a time to sit down with your wife when she's the most relaxed, say, after the baby goes to sleep. Start by trying to get her to open up about how tired she is, how she's feeling, what she may be needing from you. Then talk to her about post partum, she may surprise you and already have been thinking about it. Next, suggest that she make an appointment with her doctor to discuss it, and offer to go with her for support. I truly hope you can find some resolution. It's extremely important that you and your wife find a way to get through this, for the sake of your marriage and your son.
Postpartum Support International
www.postpartum.net
The Mayo Clinic
www.mayoclinic.com/health/postpartum-depression/DS00546
Post Natal Depression
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Postpartum_depression
2007-10-26 09:21:59 · answer #2 · answered by saxcat00 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Moms will sometimes have depression after giving birth. Make sure she gets out by herself for a little while. Encourage her to buy herself something pretty. Compliment her, as sometimes women feel self concious when we have gained weight from having a baby. Get a sitter and take her to dinner. Take her and the baby for a walk. Watch the baby so she can take a bubble bath. She needs to get out around people also. Go to friends to visit or family. Most of all help with the baby as much as possible when you are home. Congratulations on being a father. You sound like a wonderful husband to be concerned about your wife.
2007-10-26 09:19:23 · answer #3 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can help her when you get home by watching the baby while she takes a relaxing bath, run to the store, anything to get a break from the baby for a while. My husband works a full time job and does some work on the side at night for extra money. I stay home during the day with the baby and work 2-3 nights a week at a restaurant so we both have a full schedule. I really wish that he would take care of our baby for me a little more in the afternoons so that I could get a little break from her. After all he has his mommy come over and help him with the baby while I am at work.
2007-10-26 09:27:48 · answer #4 · answered by laceyluedwards 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make sure she is getting proper nutrition- and I don't mean milk products in any form- and as little meat as possible. Just lots of good vegetables and fruits. Lots of fruit juice, too. Her body is deplete from the birth and she isn't replenishing it.
You need to be as supportive as possible. Take her out to get way from her routine. Do the dishes all the time. Change the baby all the time when you are home. Make sure she knows you still love her and appreciate all she has done.
Make sure she drinks plenty of water. Lots of water. Her body needs to flush a lot of extra stuff out. Take her and the baby out for walks, so she can get some exercise and flush out the lymph system, as it only works with muscle action.
Just be the best husband she could ever imagine, and I bet things turn around soon.
Don't let the MDs drug her up with antidepressants. They are the cause of a lot of the disasters new mothers get into.
2007-10-26 09:20:20 · answer #5 · answered by Warren W- a Mormon engineer 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She may be suffering from post-partum depression. Have her talk to her doctor. Also, she just may need a day or night out away from the baby. Maybe you can suggest spending time with the baby while she goes and has some "me" time. Or maybe you can ask one of the grandparents (assuming there are some) to watch the baby for a few hours while the two of you go spend some time together.
2007-10-26 09:16:57 · answer #6 · answered by L.A. H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Help her find a parenting circle--usually it's a group of moms just wanting to talk.
Ask her to get a parttime job a few times a few in the evenings doing something SHE enjoys. This isn't to make money--it's to get her out of the house!
Talk to her. Listen to her. Give her some time to herself. I'm a stay at home mom to 2--a toddler and a newborn, and it's tough. Take your son for the day and let your wife go shopping or do something that she really wants to do.
2007-10-26 09:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are a good man. Post-partum depression is such a hard thing to go through. She needs to see a health care provider and see if she should be on meds (they help some, are not for everyone). She should see a counselor. She should get exercise...at least 1/2 hour a day three to four days a week. Getting involved in a baby-and-me program is good too...for her!
Good luck.
2007-10-26 09:33:55 · answer #8 · answered by Fotomama 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Congratulations! get a baby sitter and take her out to dinner tell her she looks great. Help her with bottle washing, getting up in the middle of the night with feedings changing the diapers, let her sleep in on the weekends while you get the baby and feed him. make your own lunch and breakfast. wash dishes at night if you don't have a dishwasher. help with the housework on the weekends b/4 you go have fun. play with your son. and enjoy each other.
Your a wonderful husband for asking and wanting to help your wife out. Got a brother?
2007-10-26 10:17:40 · answer #9 · answered by jennajade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to get out of the house... stay at home moms are wonderful and I wouldn't mind being one... but she has to make sure that she stays connected with the outside world. She has to be herself and a mom, not just a mom. Watch the baby for her and let her go get her hair done, or go out with girlfriends... if it is truely depression, you also need to get a doctor involved... she might need meds just to get her back on her feet and then she might not need them anymore.
Just keep an eye on her and make sure you're helping out when you get home... good luck!
2007-10-26 09:24:28 · answer #10 · answered by amber 18 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
post-natal depression is very common and can vary in severity. Sometimes it can be very severe.
1.Try encouraging her to go out and see people; perhaps join a mother and baby club.
2. Try and take her out without the baby sometimes- perhaps go out for a drink or a meal or see a film. Leave the baby with someone you trust.
3. Bring her small treats that she likes occasionally eg flowers, chocolates, remind her that you love her even if she doesn't seem to reciprocate.
2007-10-26 09:20:30 · answer #11 · answered by Babs 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋