Can anyone cheer me up please?

Question

I've been dissed and let down so can you cheer me up please?

Thanx fredinbed, that was a good laugh!

Thanx everyone who made me laugh. Xanthippe should be back to her normal cheerful self tomorrow.

Answer 1

Have a joke or two...or three. As many as you need to get undissed (sounds painful)
A husband takes his wife to play her first game of golf. Of course, the wife promptly hacked her first shot right through the window of the biggest house adjacent to the course.
The husband cringed, "I warned you to be careful! Now we'll have to go up there, find the owner, apologize and see how much your lousy drive is going to cost us!"
So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A warm voice said, "Come on in." When they opened the door they saw the damage that was done: glass was all over the place, and a broken antique bottle was lying on its side near the broken window. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke my window?"
"Uh...yeah, sir. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.
"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. You see, I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'm allowed to grant three wishes. I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."
"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."
"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do.
And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!"
"And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.
"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in ever country
in the world," she said.
"Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"
"And now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."
The husband looked at his wife and said, "Gee, honey, you know we both now have a fortune, and all those houses. What do you think?"
She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind, but what about you, honey?"
"You know I love you sweetheart," said the husband. "I'd do the same for you!"
So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other. The genie was insatiable! After about three hours of nonstop sex, the genie rolled over and looked directly into her eyes and asked "How old are you and your husband?"
"Why, we're both 35," she responded breathlessly.
"NO SH1T! Thirty-five years old and both of you still believe in genies?"


A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying, I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh, I accidentally said, I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh, so she socked me a good one."

"Wow!" the first guy replied, "this is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue twister too! I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, 'Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said, 'You've ruined my life you evil, self centred, fat-ar5e, b1tch."



A woman decides to have a facelift for her 47th birthday. She spends £15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.

On her way home she stops at a news-stand to buy a paper. Before leaving she
asks the salesclerk "I hope you don't mind my asking, but how old do you think I am?"
"About 32," the clerk replies. "I'm actually 47"the woman says happily.

A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the counter girl the
same question. She replies, "I'd guess about 29." The woman replies,
"Nope, I am 47!" Now she is feeling really good about herself.

While waiting for the bus home, she asks an old man the same question. He replies, "I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young,
there was a sure way to tell how old a woman was, but it requires you to let me put my hands down your knickers. Then, I can tell exactly how old you are."

They waited in silence on the empty street until curiosity got the best of the woman and she finally says, "What the hell, go ahead". The old man slips both hands down her knickers and begins to feel around. After several minutes she says, Okay, how old am I?" He removes his hands slowly and says, "You are 47." Stunned, the woman says, "That is amazing. How do you know?"

The old man replies, "I was behind you in McDonald's."



Can you name three crustaceans found in London?

Kings Crustacean, Charing Crustacean and St Pan Crustacean



A Moving Story Of Inspiration For Us All

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on
the door.

He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in
the morning. "I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he
thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows.

"Aren't you going to answer that?" says his wife.

So he drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take the homeowner long to realize the man was drunk.

"Hi there," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push??"

"No, get lost. It's half past three. I was in bed," says the
man and slams the door.

He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby sitter and you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? What would have happened if he'd told us to get lost??"

"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.

"It doesn't matter," says the wife. "He needs our help and it
would be the Christian thing to help him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets dressed, and goes downstairs.

He opens the door, and not being able to see the stranger
anywhere he shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push??"

And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah please."

So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts, "Where are you?"

And the stranger replies, "I'm over here, on your swing."

Answer 2

Cheer up! all things that hurt will make you a stronger person. You want to feel bad? Go ahead, but then you need to get over it and move on. Rejection and being dissed is a part of life, so just be prepared for more in the future.

Answer 3

I know the feeling. And I always find the yahoo answers helps me. I tell people about my story and the majority of them are really nice. It's cool to have people that compliment you and stuff, even if you don't know them, it makes you feel good. Why not post another question, tell us all about what happened, it'll feel good :)
Good Luck!

Answer 4

Go call your boyfriend. Answer questions. Play computer games. Go outside. Watch TV. Do anything.

Answer 5

Oh hun just remember those who dis others are lower than bad bacteria and not worth a second thought, your a better person than them any day, chin up and smile, your a star.

Answer 6

I'm desperately trying to think of a joke or something........
If you were near me we could go for a drink!
Ah well, heres a virtual drink from me, enjoy and don't let the bastards get to you!

Answer 7

here's a big hug from Vermont,
i'm sorry you're sad.
curl up with a few great magazines, eat chocolate,
surf channels and do your nails.

spoil yourself. i never let anyone take that from me; i treat myself well.

hugs.

Answer 8

Come and get drunk with me!!! We'll dance like loonys and have a great laugh!!!! Woohoo!!! xx

Answer 9

Yes with a big hug.

Answer 10

Check my cute little girl out. She'll make you smile. Isn't she the cutest little thing? 2D


http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=IVrsM3x8KGw