Should I let a friends relationship influence my own?

Question

I have a great friend who I've always been able to identify with because we both dated (she married) men who make less money than us and are not as financially stable as we are. (This is not how we became friends, just a coincidence.) My boyfriend and her husband both didn't finish college and it has severly effected their income potential. That being said, we have always had great relationships because we did not place that much importance on money and material things. She got married a few years back. Now, she is getting divorced. She sad that the stress of being the breadwinner is too much and fears that it will just get worse if they have kids (she wants kids). Now I can't help but think "if they can't make it, what makes me think that we can?". I know I should not base my actions on what is going on in someone else's life but it really shakes me. Plus I want to be a supportive friend and think about what she is going through. I just can't help myself though.

Answer 1

My husband and I have had times in our marriage where we alternated being the bread winner through losing jobs and what have you any way. some people are just not meant to be. If you are then you'll last if not you wont. All you can do is love your partner and work hard every day to make it work

Answer 2

Her relationship turmoil can potentially be a direct look into the future. This seems to be the theme among a lot of women. I have the same situation and a few of my cousins too. The problem is this...nowadays everyone needs to pull equal weight. Things may seem like they are okay right now but once kids get into the picture, kids become more important and things can get even worse if "he" is not doing his part. Daycare alone for me is 100/week for my son and 45/week for my daughter's daycare. On top of rent, bills, car notes, etc. You will be living pay check to pay check , not being able to buy anything nice for yourself or just get out for a night on the town. Things can be very challenging so let it go if you see the situation pulling you down.

Answer 3

Whats good for the goose isn't necessarily good for the gander.

I have reservations that this is the only cause for the divorce. Hey..you marry a guy who makes less than you and it doesn't eat at you go with the flow. Only simpletons base decisions on other people's experiences.

Unless the deceision you make is one thats potentially fatal. For instance...we don't walk out in front of a bus because those that have done it before us have not made out very well.
Its okay to base that experience on formulating a decision but this? Nope. You keep forging ahead.

Answer 4

Obviously you are too immature as well as childish to actually BE married to begin with since you can't seem to make any deicisions about YOUR life without looking at your friend's life and following suit. You need to get a life of your own rather than trying to live through your friend.

Answer 5

Don't base your future on someone else's relationship! You don't know what it was like in their marriage. Maybe she married her guy for all the wrong reasons, and she really never loved him. If she loved him she may have worked harder to make her marriage last. People can fake a good relationship for those around them...who knows what they were like when they were alone.

Answer 6

not all women persons, yet some could desire to awaken and and scent the espresso, they could desire to understanding that misery loves company, they have not got absolutely everyone so as that they communicate there chum in not having absolutely everyone and itemizing to them, and till they techniques to take heed to their own coronary heart it is going to constantly be this style, they cost their friends friendship and are terrified of dropping their chum.

Answer 7

Unless you are independantly wealthy, marrying deadbeats is no way to live, no matter how big their di ck is or how much you like them!