My stepdaughter age 12, has asked us numerous times before her birthday to give her cash for her birthday. The day of her birthday she called and said she was short money for the ipod she is buying, she than asks if we are going to give her cash and can she depend on her uncle also to do the same. Is this proper to ask what she is getting in advance?
2007-10-26 07:58:52 · 38 answers · asked by confused 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Holidays ➔ Other - Holidays
No it's actually pretty rude. If you asked her for gift ideas and she said that she'd appreciate money for an ipod, that would be ok but it's rude to ask for it straight out, especially several times.
2007-10-26 08:03:20 · answer #1 · answered by nora 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
No, it is a bit rude - gifts are ALWAYS optional. It is not to be "expected" although that often is the case. The giver chooses what to give.
Maybe get her a book on manners/etiquette as a hint. Or perhaps she could get a job, or do chores/work to afford that ipod, like the rest of us. I had a job at that age. Babysitting pays well. Better nip this gimme attitude in the bud.
2007-10-26 08:06:48 · answer #2 · answered by slipstreamer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If all she wants is cash, that is fine! But to ask if "uncle" is doing the same, that is in poor taste.
Uncle will give her (if he is at the party), what Uncle wants to give her.
But as far as parents (step and natural), if daughter would like the cash, then that is fine!
That is what I always want for Xmas is just the money. That way, the person is always satisfied with that!
2007-10-26 08:05:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is rude to keep asking for money.
Now that she's only 12, I can understand that she REALLY wants this ipod, but she could of said something along the lines of; I'm trying to save money for an ipod, can I please have money for my b-day instead of a gift. And left it at that not keep asking over and over again. That's good that she understands that SHE has to save her own money for something and that she just can't asked for it and expect to get one.
But that choice is yours if you give her a present or money.
And maybe explain to her that you are glad that she's trying and that asking over and over is rude.
Must be nice I don't think I got any thing from my uncles or anuts for my b-day.
2007-10-26 08:17:25 · answer #4 · answered by Dodge Ram Mama 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
On one side it's great that she wants to buy the Ipod herself partially with money she has saved. However, to ask for it like that is SO rude! Maybe you should point out next time she says something that she shouldn't assume she's getting anything at all and if she keeps acting this way than it will be nothing indeed. I know this kind of response would have shut me up at this age. It will also point a finger at the behavior and she will hopefully learn something from it.
2007-10-26 08:04:39 · answer #5 · answered by Colonel Obvious AM 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
WOW ... what a RUDE child .. to not just ask for what she is going to get in advance (and to demand cash .. well, that just shows that she has NO Gratitude to those who want to remember her, nor does she RESPECT those who are EARNING the income with which they are kind enough to keep her in their thoughts).
Here is what I did with a Nephew who acted this way ...
I DETERMINED what I was going to do to remember his birthday .. and since he only calls when he WANTS Cash (and can't be bothered to help out or call or even be nice), then I CHOSE what to give him on his birthday. That present was small, thoughtful ...
and most importantly ...
NOT CASH!!!!
Do what you feel comfortable .. but it is VERY RUDE for children to demand cash and to want to know how much she is getting in advance!
2007-10-26 09:49:58 · answer #6 · answered by sglmom 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If that was my daughter, I would explain to her that how she is acting is very rude. She should not "expect" ANYTHING. IF she receives a gift from someone, she should be very grateful for whatever it is. Explain to her how there are many children who do not receive one item on their birthday.
FYI - If my 7 year old receives cash for ANY gift, I let him keep a portion (like $5 out of $20) - the rest goes into his savings. I write a note on his register of who the gift was from, and for what reason ("Happy BDay from Grandma"). When she's 20 and has her savings, then she'll appreciate it. That is if you teach her now to be grateful.
She is the "norm" of children these days, but it doesn't make it right.
If it was my son, I would make sure that he didn't receive a penny this year. Gifts, okay. Money in Savings Account, okay. But I wouldn't allow him to receive any cash.
Good luck.
2007-10-26 08:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by jennifer74781 4 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Absolutely not. A gift is just that, a gift and it is the option of the giver as to what type of present or even if a present will be given.
I suggest you buy your stepdaughter a nice birthday card and give her a job application because she needs to learn some manners. And unless you want her to continue to behave badly, don't give her any money or buy her any gift.
2007-10-26 08:02:42 · answer #8 · answered by tiger b 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
This is very rude. However, for her age, it is definitely not surprising. Let her know that it is not polite to ask about her gifts, and tell her she will find out what she will get when the day comes. She can wait to open the gift like everyone else does.
As for the gift, the decision of whether or not to give her cash is entirely up to you.
2007-10-26 08:04:06 · answer #9 · answered by aml0017 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I just wonder where she learned that it is o.k. to expect money when she asked for it. Asking isn't improper, but EXPECTING it is. My daughter could ask, but she knew that it was up to us if she received whatever she requested, for a gift. You and your wife will be the ones who now determine whether she can always pull the money strings by just asking for it. A gift should come from the heart of the recipient. And whatever happened to SUPRISES?
2007-10-26 08:06:27 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋