now that xmas is near?

Question

soon it will be xmas day and I don't know if it's natural that i dread these festive season as I find myself more depressive,maybe i miss those when all my family were there and parents both alive

Answer 1

I hear you, my family is dead as well, save for my brother and he's five hours away and we're not particularly close.

Do you not have any friends you can spend part of the holidays with?

How about helping to organize a community christmas dinner or volunteering at one so you'll be around people during Christmas .

I go to my friend's for Christmas Day, but Christmas Eve I prepare all the dishes my mum prepared , for just myself. I put on Christmas music, I make the phone calls I need to make overseas to wish people Merry Christmas. I watch all the Christmas movies I love and then watch the different christmas church services . I remember what it was like when I was a kid and teenager and into my adult years, say prayers for the departed family and generally just have a really gentle day of it.

I know alot of people get very down and lonely at this time of year, but I've found when I'm doing for someone else, whether it's buying things for samaritain's purse or the toys for tots or santa helpers program, I forget about being lonely and get into the spirit of thing and the reason for the season to begin with.

Peace and goodwill towards mankind and celebrating the birth of Christ.

I start decorating around mid november and keep my decorations up until almost epiphany .

You can choose how you react to the holidays- you can either be positive and proactive or you can be negative and depressed and self absorbed, it's up to you.

Answer 2

This is because society puts way too much significance on Christmas. Decorations are everywhere....many more people jamming the malls to buy more junk for loved ones....TV stirring up the masses with commercials about why you should enjoy X-mas and how it's a "family" thing...etc. To those people that are single and have very few friends or family contacts, this season can be a very depressing time.
So, is X-mas all that it's cut out to be? If you dig deep enough, you'll find out that it's just another lying tradition. It's based on the birth of Jesus. Yet, the Bible never mentions when Jesus was born for there is no date. The date of Dec. 25th was made up in the Council of Nicea around 300 A.D. when many scriptures were reviewed. Also in order to convert the heathens, some of their traditions were "Christianized." One of these traditions was the day of the Iranian God of Light, which was....well what do you know...Dec. 25th. Other traditions, such as the X-mas tree were Christianized also. The giving of gifts though was from the 3 kings story who gave gifts to the newborn messiah. This too was twisted, being that this kings were actually astrologers looking for the messiah for King Herod, so that King Herod can send soldiers to kill him. This plan failed of course.
Hopefully this info gives you some insight in seeing that there's nothing wrong with missing family, but let's miss them for the right reasons....not man-made commercialism.

Answer 3

I hear this so much. The holidays are really hard on a lot of people. I kind of got a head start with not liking the whole Christmas thing. I wore a button the said "BAH HUMBUG" when I was in 6th grade.
Can you try to give a toast to all of the relatives that have gone ahead and thank them for all of the good memories you have? Include those memories this Christmas, not by focusing on what you no longer have, but all that they gave to you. I'm telling you this, knowing that I'm the only sister left out of 13 and my parents have been dead for along time. I'm going to try the same thing this year, because it really is a bummer to feel depressed about Christmas. Good luck with making this year different-for everyone.

Answer 4

You are not alone dreading an upcoming Christmas. The
"Christmas spirit" is about family, good friends, warmth, and cheer, which is why you will often find non-Christians partaking in it. So naturally the loss of a loved one, family, or friend can send the most collected individual into a tailspin at such a festive time of year.

I too dread Christmas, but for the commercialization of it.

Answer 5

Yeah, the holidays are wonderful, but can also be sad if you're apart from family. Sorry to hear your parents are no longer with you.
Maybe try something completely different this year. Rather than sitting around listening to those songs and the smell of the neighbor's home cooking, go on a cruise down south, or spend a week at a nice resort... you still have some time to save up some money for that.

Answer 6

Actually it is completely normal for you to feel this way. Lots of people feel this way every year. Its a part of life and we all go through things that may seem "abnormal".
But find something to keep you busy and enjoy yourself as the seasons get near and do things that you know make you happy, because the last thing we want is to be unhappy while it seems everyone else is having a ball.

Answer 7

Completely understandable and natural. Holidays are a time of reflection, giving, and caring. So when a love one is no longer around, it is natural to miss them more. Maybe it will lift your spirits if during those days you focus on the good times you've shared with your family and not the times you will miss.

Answer 8

Yes, I know what you mean....Christmas is just not the same,,,most of the kids in the family are all grown up and married with families of their own and naturally they won't to start their own family traditions.....We use to have a big family dinner with everyone at home and exchange gifts....it was laughter and sometimes things got really loud,,but now it is just too quite...I miss it all...but I still have my DH and most of them do drop by at Christmas, so it is different, but good....

Answer 9

So many people have trouble with the holiday season. You are not alone. Do you still have family to celebrate with? Friends? Create new traditions and it's ok to miss those Christmas's gone by, just remember them cheerfully.

Answer 10

Yers, this is normal. See if you can find a lifecoach. S/he will be able to help you find ways to make this holiday season more bearable...maybe even eliminate the depression. What I like about lifecoaching is that, instead of rehashing the past over and over, they help you accept where you are, and figure out what to do about it NOW. Good luck!