My new boyfriend and I have had sex twice, but I could never really enjoy myself because I wasn't aroused enough.
This guy is fantastic at pleasing a woman by the way.
The problem is that I get anxiety that I won't get wet, or won't feel horny... and even after a lot of foreplay, the anxiety itself kills my arousal.
I'm sure this makes sex less enjoyable for him too...
How can I stop this?
I try to 'relax' and 'not think about it'... but I can't!
Help me please, I'm 18.
2007-10-26 07:05:48 · 13 answers · asked by Cat K 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Try and relax, it takes some peaceful meditation, or maybe some mood music to help?
2007-10-26 07:08:18 · answer #1 · answered by Steve C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually anxiety like this stops after some time has passed and the sex has become more comfortable. Explain your situation to your new bf and assure him that it's not HIM. If he's a good guy, he'll understand and be patient.
2007-10-26 07:10:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is some kind of mental block going on about letting yourself enjoy sex. Try writing your thoughts and feelings about sex in a journal, what you are afraid of, what thoughts go through your mind and why it is you can't seem to let yourself enjoy it. You could always try putting on some music that you like or try putting a blindfold as a way to get your mind off being anxious or you could try having a bath together as way of relaxing. If those things don't help, think about seeing a therapist to discuss the issue specifically.
2016-03-13 07:07:34 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When did this first start, and what is the root of your anxiety? If you can find this and learn to accept your thoughts of anxiety it could be easier for you to work through this. anxiety usually comes from irrational beliefs. Have you talked to him about this? Also, check out mindfulness exercises, they can be a big help for people with anxiety.
http://www.mindfulness.com/
Try to focus on the moment, make note of the anxiety, and try to accept its presence, but know it does not have to be the overwhelming presence you have let it become. Also, at what point does this start, it sounds somewhat like performance anxiety.
2007-10-26 08:16:45 · answer #4 · answered by youngsocrates 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try lying on your stomach with something under your genetalia. Have your BF lie on top of you. Move your hips as you have intercourse. It may help with the anxiety and allow you to be pleasured.
2007-10-26 07:09:30 · answer #5 · answered by coconut 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to become comfortable with your own sexuality and learn what makes you feel aroused and horny.
Once you learn this - it can be duplicated when you are with him.
2007-10-26 07:09:13 · answer #6 · answered by aitkenpatty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't all about the destination, but about enjoying the journey. Stop focusing on "the goal" and just enjoy the game. So what if you don't "score" every time? the game is still fun.
2007-10-26 07:10:56 · answer #7 · answered by Squirrley Temple 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a lil liquir in ur system, might help break the ice for the next time, you'll have such a good time that the next time you wont need it. don't get wasted, just a few.
2007-10-26 07:24:16 · answer #8 · answered by jade4e83 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get list
2016-07-10 08:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by brenda 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try tantra. try sensual massage. no pressure. you have to learn to essentially meditate. start by focusing on your breathing. focusing on what you feel and not what you think.
i recommend getting some videos on tantra.
2007-10-26 07:09:42 · answer #10 · answered by Sufi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋