Okay. I'll be brief.
This past spring my stb ex and myself sold our first home and bought a new one, spent a good deal of money of decorating and about a month afterwards, I discovered she had a fascination with a married co-worker.
She stuck with her story of there is no-one else, I am not cheating, it's just a crush. In addressing this situation she immediately asked for a divorce. She moved out of the house a month later and moved in with a nearby relative.
Ssince that time I have twice been informed of infidelities with at least two different individuals and have discovered that I contracted herpes
She filed a restraining order on me earlier in the week saying I was harrassing her. and that what she is doing know is none of my business. I am asking about situations that happened during the marraige.
I've been traumatized, emotional, financially nd now will have a physical reminder for the rest of my life.
Do I deserve an explanation?
Am I out of line?
2007-10-26 06:53:02 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your not out of line, and you do deserve an explanation. If your going through with the divorce than you can ask her about this at that time. Don't break the restraining order, it will just make the divorce more difficult.
2007-10-26 07:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by Truth Hurts 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't waste your time trying to get the truth out of her. I've been divorced for 7 years and a few things have come up in conversation and I noticed he still maintains some dumb cover-ups after I don't even care or ask anymore. As far as the herpes, she may be to blame or she may not. You could have gotten it a long time ago and never had an acute outbreak. There's just no way to tell with that, so don't agonize about it because that will make this cheating situation always feel worse. I am speaking from experience on that one. Always be moving forward.
2007-10-26 07:02:44 · answer #2 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are feeling betrayed and rightfully so. Try very hard to get yourself up and live the happy life that is still in front of you. Don't be stupid and not have a good attorney to represent you. She will be payed back in the future for her actions. Don't forget she also has the herpes to remind her of the actions. There is medication that can keep you totally free of outbreaks. Stress onsets the out breaks. Don't let her continue to hurt your life. Act as if you are pleased with your new life, even if you are not. That will bother her more than anything. She will be the one to break the order, then call police immediately. It will all turn around on her. Bless you and pray for the happy lif that is waiting. You only thought you were happy. Just wait.
2007-10-26 07:01:15 · answer #3 · answered by New Nana 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, she doesn't need to give you an explanation once she rolled out. Sorry about the herpes thing, next time be careful. I think you are more upset at the fact she went to someone else and you now got something to remind you of her bad encounters. Seek info on herpes, see what is your best option to control the outbreaks and the medication (s) you can take during those outbreaks.
No, you were not out of line if you didn't ask her too much times.
2007-10-26 07:06:15 · answer #4 · answered by Kaya M 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she explains to you, will it lessen the insult? I mean, you are going through was was obvious -- she cheated and she now has giving you a disease that you will carry for the rest of your life and will probably affect future relationships. Just make sure that you yourself don't turn into the monster that she already is. To me this is an open shut case. From now on is not what you can do is what you should do and the do is move on before it festers on you. The sad thing is that she probably hasn't learned a lesson and she will infect other people.
2007-10-26 07:04:20 · answer #5 · answered by Pinolera 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chalk it up to having realized you hooked up with a woman who has less morals than a common prostitute.
Look for no explantion. Besides...would you be content if you had gotten one. She's lied throughout the whole relationship so what makes you think that you'd even get a shred of honesty from her?
Nope..she's a whore. You know it now. Move on my friend. Besides...give it time...she'll want to get back together. Women like that always do because they screwed you over and think that they can manipulate you a second time. Naturally I know that won't happen with you so cut all ties and get on with your life.
2007-10-26 07:07:32 · answer #6 · answered by Quasimodo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While I would say that yes, you do deserve an explanation, the sad truth is that you aren't going to get one.
She's vicious and a low-life and you need to be GLAD she moved her sorry as* out of your house and your life.
Divorce her, get EVERYTHING if you can, and find a woman who will really love you and treat you well.
As for the explanation: she's a loser. You may not get more than that.
2007-10-26 07:11:28 · answer #7 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
None of us "DESERVE" an explanation. And the fact that it's pretty cut and dry, validates that even more. If you got herpes and wasn't F*ing around then she was, end of story. Its unfortunate but it happens. Get her out of your life and be done with it. Constantly trying to contact someone who did you wrong is in fact harassment. You just have to have faith that she'll get hers and just hope that she's far enough away from you by then that it doesn't affect you.
2007-10-26 07:00:44 · answer #8 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You deserve an explanation, but odds are you will get the run around. She will not admit to doing anything wrong unless she can blame it on you. You are lucky to be out of that relationship though! Stop trying to get her to be truthful, ain't no such animal!She is in heat and will roam around infecting other people. Do your best to organize yourself now and work towards helping yourself.
2007-10-26 07:05:17 · answer #9 · answered by danelady7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look! She gave you a diease! she has to pay for that!
But honestly! You messed up!
You never fall in love with anything that is suppose to be Parted!...sheesh you put her on a pedal stool and she eagle S#!TTed on you!
She is not gonna tell you anything. She set you up for a bad one.
but there were definate signs you just didn't heed her warnings.
2007-10-26 07:11:51 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋